What Would Your Reaction Be?

[design_mom]

I would probably be annoyed -- at both my DH and myself (because you know he's right about leaving the purse in the car.)

With the benefit of a little distance from the situation though, I am guessing this went farther than he intended. I bet he assumed you would check for your purse as soon as you got into the car, assume it had been stolen, and would call him immediately. I am assuming he would have 'fessed up as soon as you told him the purse was missing. I doubt he expected that you would spend all day and drive all over looking for it.

I am glad you and your DH seem to be good sports about it though... and that he let you decompress from your stressful day instead of just saying "I told you so."

 

[dizluvah]

I gotta side with teh hubby on this one

 

[HM]

My DD's boyfriend did the same thing to her as OP's DH.
She kept leaving her car unlocked in her HS parking lot. One day he noticed it had happened and took her iPod and a couple other things that were worth more than a few $ out of the car. She was really upset about it and complaining to him and he revealed what he did. She locks it all the time now and generally takes things of value out in her purse. She was only mad at him for a short time. She did learn a good lesson from it.

 

[lan3]

I would be very angry at my husband. I understand it is irresponsible to leave the wallet in the car (although I feel the responses of people draining your bank account are over the top), I still think leaving a mom and a 3 year all day without ID or credit cards is crazy. I think that is as irresponsible as leaving the purse in the car.
I have a wallet with a key chain attached so I always have both items attached. I have been frazzled with my kids and left things at home or in the car. Things happen. I had my wallet stolen and I cancelled the cards and got a new license. It was annoying but people on here act like all of your finances will be gone in a matter of seconds. I never even had to pay for what wasd charged. My atm has a pin code so nobody could drain my bank account.
I am surprised at how many people applaud the husband. If he had hid the purse when he knew he was going to be with you, I wouldn't have as big an issue with it. For example, he hid the purse on a Saturday and let you sweat it out for a moment ot two while you were out togethr. I wouldn't do that but I wouldn't be as angry. I just feel that leaving a mom and toddler without money and credit cards is as bad as leaving the purse in the car. Both are stupid and irresponsible but only one was deliberate.

 

[sam_gordon]

I would be very angry at my husband. I understand it is irresponsible to leave the wallet in the car (although I feel the responses of people draining your bank account are over the top), I still think leaving a mom and a 3 year all day without ID or credit cards is crazy. I think that is as irresponsible as leaving the purse in the car.
I have a wallet with a key chain attached so I always have both items attached. I have been frazzled with my kids and left things at home or in the car. Things happen. I had my wallet stolen and I cancelled the cards and got a new license. It was annoying but people on here act like all of your finances will be gone in a matter of seconds. I never even had to pay for what wasd charged. My atm has a pin code so nobody could drain my bank account.
I am surprised at how many people applaud the husband. If he had hid the purse when he knew he was going to be with you, I wouldn't have as big an issue with it. For example, he hid the purse on a Saturday and let you sweat it out for a moment ot two while you were out togethr. I wouldn't do that but I wouldn't be as angry. I just feel that leaving a mom and toddler without money and credit cards is as bad as leaving the purse in the car. Both are stupid and irresponsible but only one was deliberate.

IMO, the bolded is wrong. They BOTH made deliberate choices to do what they did. The husband's issue wasn't the purse being left out once or twice. It was repeatedly. AND he asked the OP to not do so. She elected not to take steps to bring the purse inside. That sounds pretty deliberate to me.

 

[Disneychick75]

IMO, the bolded is wrong. They BOTH made deliberate choices to do what they did. The husband's issue wasn't the purse being left out once or twice. It was repeatedly. AND he asked the OP to not do so. She elected not to take steps to bring the purse inside. That sounds pretty deliberate to me.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, I am still with the husband...
And, while the OP seems to be trying to be understanding and admitting to things that might contribute to her absent-mindedness.... This is still nothing but playing down and 'explaining', and excuses for repeatedly doing something that should just never be done.

I had immediately, in fact, thought of ADHD and things like being on the autism spectrum when reading about such incredible irresponsibility. But, even when one might be affected by such things, there comes a time when there is deliberate irresponsibility, just always using these conditions as an excuse.

I mean, "Hey, I forgot and left my new sunglasses somewhere." Or, "I forgot to double check that the car was locked." might be one thing.
But, hey, I am irresponsible and not motivated enough to safeguard my purse and to continually leave it outside, unlocked... over and over and over... That is completely different. That is not a mistake or a misjudgment. That has now become deliberate....

The OP was wrong...
Her husband tried to remind her and warn her...
She ignored him.

I am quite sure that he would have told her right away if she had called or texted him. She went thru the day that way because she was going thru great lengths to try to NOT have to admit to him what had happened.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'd hide the car.


J/K. Just for fun.

 

[EmJay2001]

I did not read all the replies yet but I had to comment. I do the exact same thing, I park in the garage and leave my wallet and doors unlocked. When I park outside, I still leave my wallet (always out of site) in my car. The car is locked, always. I would be majorly ticked off if dh went in and took out my wallet. MAJOR. It would have caused me all this grief and a day of extra hassle I do not need. He is NOT perfect and nether am I. My blood is boiling at the thought of him doing it, lol. I think it was just plain mean to let it play out for the whole day. Maybe a few minutes at the most, but ALL STINKING DAY. No way. He is my partner not parent. Even my mom does not discipline me anymore .

 

[goofyintoronto]

IMO, the bolded is wrong. They BOTH made deliberate choices to do what they did. The husband's issue wasn't the purse being left out once or twice. It was repeatedly. AND he asked the OP to not do so. She elected not to take steps to bring the purse inside. That sounds pretty deliberate to me.

YES. Definitely!!!!

 

[QueenElsaTheFirst]

I am quite sure that he would have told her right away if she had called or texted him. She went thru the day that way because she was going thru great lengths to try to NOT have to admit to him what had happened.

I'm sure he would have too He was in trial this week though, and keeps his phone off when he's in the courtroom. I'm sure he saw my missed call when he turned his phone on on the ride home, but probably figured he'd rather just talk to me in person at that point (all the better to see my reaction )

I definitely dreaded telling him because I knew I was stupid, but I guarantee I preferred it to jumping in a dumpster

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhh man, he was in trial!!!

I do understand about the worst part having to be for DH to find out.

DH is not one that has much patience with that kind of thing!
He is one of those where things don't happen to him very often at all.

I am remembering, however, the ONE TIME where he must have been having some kind of very rare 'absent minded' kind of day... He locked his keys in his vehicle... Had to get that taken care of... and then a short time later, he did it AGAIN!!!! OMG... he never, ever, does stuff like that.

 

[QueenElsaTheFirst]

I am remembering, however, the ONE TIME where he must have been having some kind of very rare 'absent minded' kind of day... He locked his keys in his vehicle... Had to get that taken care of... and then a short time later, he did it AGAIN!!!! OMG... he never, ever, does stuff like that.

Haha! My husband once managed to lock himself outside of the house late one night when he ran out to do the garbage cans. He had no phone, no keys, and one dead asleep wife. He tried yelling to get my attention for about 45 minutes and then finally jusssst managed to climb through the dog door. Good thing we have a Husky and not a Chihuahua, huh?

 

[nighttowll]

Well, I'd be annoyed, but I do think he has a point.

We just had three neighbor's cars "broken into" with all the stuff inside stolen yesterday morning. I say broken with the "" because they weren't locked. It's really common for thieves to go through neighborhoods and just clean out anything in an unlocked car. This is not the first time this has happened in my neighborhood either, and we also had a similar thing happen, but on a much larger scale, in my old neighborhood. Every single house on a couple of streets the cars were emptied out. They just started at one end of the street and made their way through the neighborhood. Took them no time at all on foot going from driveway to driveway. I don't live in a bad area or anything. It's just much more common of a problem then most people realize, as most petty car robberies don't really make the news.

 

[PizzieDuster]

I'd hide the car.


J/K. Just for fun.

I will always remember a client of my husband. His daughter was arrested for stealing ~ from open garages and unlocked cars.

I watch TOO much Dateline shows, I'll stop here.

 

[PizzieDuster]

YES. Definitely!!!!

Your puppy in your sig makes me smile! I have one.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would be very angry at my husband. I understand it is irresponsible to leave the wallet in the car (although I feel the responses of people draining your bank account are over the top), I still think leaving a mom and a 3 year all day without ID or credit cards is crazy. I think that is as irresponsible as leaving the purse in the car. I have a wallet with a key chain attached so I always have both items attached. I have been frazzled with my kids and left things at home or in the car. Things happen. I had my wallet stolen and I cancelled the cards and got a new license. It was annoying but people on here act like all of your finances will be gone in a matter of seconds. I never even had to pay for what wasd charged. My atm has a pin code so nobody could drain my bank account. I am surprised at how many people applaud the husband. If he had hid the purse when he knew he was going to be with you, I wouldn't have as big an issue with it. For example, he hid the purse on a Saturday and let you sweat it out for a moment ot two while you were out togethr. I wouldn't do that but I wouldn't be as angry. I just feel that leaving a mom and toddler without money and credit cards is as bad as leaving the purse in the car. Both are stupid and irresponsible but only one was deliberate.

Actually at a certain point, being absent-minded becomes deliberate after the DH has had multiple conversations with the OP about leaving her purse in an unlocked car, which, by the OPs own admission, has been the case.

If your ATM card is attached to a credit card it can be used to purchase things no pin code required apparently because it happened to me. Somehow someone got a hold of the card number and charged $350 worth of stuff, the money for which was pulled from my checking account which I realized when I started get bounced check notices for the fees. The card had never left my purse. That took weeks to rectify. Thankfully $350 didn't put me into a financial tailspin. I moved money from another account to cover things, the banks fraud department researched and 3 weeks later the bank returned the money once they determined that it had been stolen from the account. All the fees were waived because they were caused by the theft. But there are people for whom a $350 loss would cause great financial Hardship.

Then another time, DHs credit card number got lifted by the cashier at an office supply store. She gave it to her boyfriend who proceeded to charge $7000 worth of merchandise within a 3 hour period. The CC company finally noticed unusual activity and shut down the card and called us and reviewed the charges so we could tell them which were ours and which were not. Thankfully he was a stupid thief who had what he purchased delivered to his home so he was easy to catch. And no, we didn't have to pay for the $7000 worth of merchandise directly but if you think that card carriers don't somehow "pay" for that, you're mistaken. The cost of fraud prevention, fraud investigation and it's aftermath is somehow put into the backs of CC users... Probably by increasing interest rates.

 

[mom2rtk]

Haha! My husband once managed to lock himself outside of the house late one night when he ran out to do the garbage cans. He had no phone, no keys, and one dead asleep wife. He tried yelling to get my attention for about 45 minutes and then finally jusssst managed to climb through the dog door. Good thing we have a Husky and not a Chihuahua, huh?

I hope you have replaced that dog door with a smaller one. I would not sleep well at night knowing a person could enter my house at will.

 

[QueenElsaTheFirst]

I hope you have replaced that dog door with a smaller one. I would not sleep well at night knowing a person could enter my house at will.

Well the dog door is between the garage and the house, so they'd first have to get in the garage We have a PIN number pad so we can open the garage which is how my DH got as far as the garage, but the door between the house and garage was locked. And while Homer was fine with my husband using his door, I think he'd take exception to an intruder

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I hope you have replaced that dog door with a smaller one. I would not sleep well at night knowing a person could enter my house at will.

Unless the dog has gotten smaller, that's not really an option!

Now, stop and think like a thief for a second. Do you really want to go crawling into a house, through a dog door that has a dog big enough to REQUIRE a door that big? When you size a dog door, it's not like a regular door, you get one that they can step through, but it's not big enough for them to stand on their front legs inside of, so not as tall as they are, just big enough to fit their body basically.