What Would Your Reaction Be?

[clh2]

In this situation, in my household, the only thing DH could have done without starting WWIII was merely locking the door.

 

[denisem]

My first reaction? I would be embarrassed to be caught in such a careless action, especially after being warned. FTR, I have never left a purse in a car, even a locked/secured garage.

(Bet you'll never do it again.)

 

[mhfrau]

This is something I would probably do to my husband, so I gotta go with him on this one. I don't think it's treating you like a child, or being a jerk at all, especially because you admit to being careless about locking the car door. I think it was a good slap upside the head to really get the point across to you about not leaving your purse in the car!

 

[brockash]

We're remodeling our kitchen right now, so our garage is full of construction type stuff. So after being spoiled and always parking in the garage, I've been parking in our driveway for the past month or so.

I've gotten in the habit over the last several years of leaving my purse in the car in the garage. I'm horribly absent-minded so it's helpful to just leave it in the car so I never forget it. Well I've still been doing it, and my husband has been connnnstantly harassing me not to do it, or to at least lock the door to my car if I do ( I always forget that too since I'm used to parking inside!)

Anyway, this morning I took my boys to school and went to the grocery store with my daughter, got all the way there and realized my purse was gone! I didn't panic at first, thinking I left it at home. But got home, searched the house top to bottom, and no luck. Then I got back in the car and went to all the places I was yesterday (with a cranky 3 year old in tow.) No luck finding it. I'm panicking at this point because I have my wallet, my checkbook, my sons' fundraising money for their tball team and other things in there. I called the CC companies, and good news, no charges on the cards after yesterday. I figured the purse hadn't been stolen at that point, since the criminals usually use the stuff right away. We have a huge dumpster at the end of our driveway for the construction garbage, and so I ended up climbing in and going through that for an hour to see if it had inadvertently been tossed out with scraps from the kitchen.

Long story short, I never found it. My husband came home and I'm like dreadddding telling him because of the "I told you so" that I know is inevitably coming. He says,

"You look frazzled, what's up?" (Incidentally this should have been my first clue, he never notices the way I'm feeling ) I tell him I lost my purse and a huge grin cracks over his face and he says,

"Hmmmm, maybe in future you'll remember to lock your car!" And he pulls my purse out of his work briefcase!!!!! He had walked out to his car this morning and noticed my car was unlocked again, so he grabbed my purse and took it to work with him.

So yeah. I'm LIVID. Though I get that he was trying to be helpful I think what he did was ridiculous and infantilizing. Then again, I know his heart was in the right place. And he's currently putting all three kids to bed while I relax in a bubble bath with a glass of merlot to make up for my day

What would your reaction be if your SO did this? Totally egregious and just begging for an at-home vasectomy, or a worthwhile lesson for this very absentminded mom?

Honestly, I really can't imagine living my life like that to begin with. No way would I leave my purse outside in an unlocked car let slone make it a habit, especially after someone I trust has brought it to my attention etc. It sucks that you went through everything you did today, but on the other hand maybe this was the only way for you to become responsible/aware of the seriousness of the situation.

 

[whatname]

I say it's your business if you want to leave your purse in your car. If it gets stolen, that's your responsibility. You deal with the consequences. I'm not on DH's side at all. This is something you may do to teach a child a lesson, and even then it is mean.

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

I think what your dh did was way over the top. I would be beyond livid if I had gone through the whole day believing my purse had been lost or stolen calling cc companies and driving around with a small child. He put you through a lot of trauma just to teach you a lesson and to prove himself right. What if you had gotten into an accident with your small child in the car while you were frantically trying to find your purse? While I do get the notion of him trying to get you to change your ways something about how he went about it seems so wrong.

That being said I do think you were very irresponsible with your purse because if it had been stolen you would have a lot of personal info. fall in the wrong hands. but imho what he did was also very mean spirited.

 

[Hannathy]

In this situation, in my household, the only thing DH could have done without starting WWIII was merely locking the door.

Mine to! And he damn well better have made sure my keys were in the house before he locked it.

I would be beyond livid. It still wouldn't be acceptable but if he had done it and put it in the house and then called and told you after a few minutes it would be one thing but to go all day without telling you is ridiculous.

Would have served him right if you had cancelled everything (which you should have done by the way!!!) and he got caught with no money and bad credit cards, and a boat load of stop payment charges from the bank.

Very inconsiderate and disrespectful of your time.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My first instinct--your husband was more irresponsible than you were. He deliberation left you without ID, money/credit or debit cards and no insurance cards. What if an emergency happened? His little prank to teach you a lesson could have been a major issue.

I'm sorry--but my thought is...what a jerk!


He isn't supposed to act like a toddler to teach you a lesson.

 

[sonnyjane]

In my opinion, the only thing he did wrong was taking the purse with him to his work. He should have taken it and put it in the house.

I have to say though, knowing that my husband had made comments to me in the past, before driving around town, contacting all my credit card companies, and digging through the trash, I first would have called my husband to ask him if he'd seen it...

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I don't know where you live but growing up where I grew up the idea of leaving a purse alone even for a minute is beyond my realm of thought....

If I were you I'd be thrilled he taught you a lesson instead of having to deal with the NIGHTMARE of losing a purse...something that happened to me ONCE and I hope never happens again. Mine was stolen and what I had to do to close all those accts and replace everything was more work than you can imagine.

Consider yourself lucky~

I had mine stolen when I was 18, so luckily didn't have the credit cards to cancel, etc., just had to deal with the license, military dependent's ID and checkbook, but, 2 years later I'm getting a call at work from my mother, who was called at home by a video store, after they called my father AT HIS WORK, to tell him that I had opened an account on my military ID, and rented a porn movie and never returned it. Let me tell you, THAT was a tough one to figure out! My parents were so pissed until I realized that it was on the stolen ID and asked what the issue date for that ID was. Thankfully I reported the ID stolen to both the police and the Air Force, but man, that was a really freakout time there for a little while!

 

[Jennasis]

I HAVE left my purse in our unlocked car in the driveway (accidentally). DH brought it in for me.

That said, in your situation I'd be pissed at both him and myself.

 

[hereyago]

Wow, it seems like more of something a parent would do to a child. You should let him know you have no desire to sleep with a daddy figure.

I won't even start about the mind game aspect, this isn't Jeopardy.


Now if it was taken for real, then that would be on you and as a SO I would say no whining . But for a SO to think that would be acceptable to do to you, he just better be glad I wasn't the one he did that to.

 

[Ceila]

While I completely understand your husband's frustration with your habit of leaving the purse in an unlocked car, what he did was irresponsible as well. What if you had reported it stolen to the police before he owned up to taking it?

 

[stasijane]

So the question is, will you be more responsible with your purse?

 

[AudreyKThompson]

I'm split on this. On his side, you do need to remember to take your purse in and lock the door. If you forget at home because it is habit, what makes you not forget when you run errands or go shopping? Habits like this tend to bite us in the end.... But on the other side, what if you had decided to file a police report and cancel you credit cards and bank account because you thought it had been taken? And you were driving around all day without your license. What if you had an accident or got pulled over. I think his method was a little extreme, and he owes you a little more then a break from putting the kids to bed.

This .

 

[QueenElsaTheFirst]

Ok how much do I love the fact that you are literally INSIDE a purse in one of the pictures in your signature and replied to this thread Perhaps I need to invest in a purse like that so I don't run into this issue again!!!

 

[Bluestars]

I would be mad at first, then relieved. I agree with your husband about leaving something valuable in a car. I have had my purse stolen, so leaving it in a car is something I would never do. You are not only letting somebody take your valuables, they could steal your identity. So actually leaving your purse in your car affects your entire family, not just you.

 

[DizBelle]

I'd be livid too, I don't think he needed to teach you a lesson like you are a child. Locking the car or him running your purse into the house before he left and a reminder to you to bring it in the house next time would have been fine.

It doesn't seem like that reminder would have worked.

 

[DizBelle]

Mine to! And he damn well better have made sure my keys were in the house before he locked it.

I would be beyond livid. It still wouldn't be acceptable but if he had done it and put it in the house and then called and told you after a few minutes it would be one thing but to go all day without telling you is ridiculous.

Would have served him right if you had cancelled everything (which you should have done by the way!!!) and he got caught with no money and bad credit cards, and a boat load of stop payment charges from the bank.

Very inconsiderate and disrespectful of your time.

It's inconsiderate and disrespectful for her to be so cavalier with her family's security.

 

[Shutterbug]

This is one of those questions where the women are gonna side with the OP..."oh he would be in the dog house for weeks"

and the men are gonna side with the hubby...."see if you had just listened to him that would not have happened"

I have to say that it is completely irresponsible for you to be leaving that type of information open in the car. I would think you should count yourself lucky that it was just your hubby that did this and not someone else with a more malicious intent.