what would you say?

[disneydancer1969]

ok i had miley 5 months ago and my husband wants a 2nd. now it is not that i do not want a second it is just i was on bedrest for 6 months. i do not want that to happen again.
should we have a 2nd
yes.
no.
maybe?

 

[beckmrk04]

I don't think anyone is qualified to give you an answer to such a personal decision.

If you had a bad pregnancy, you have to decide for yourself if it's worth it to do it again.

 

[MELSMICE]

I agree with beckmark. This is a personal decision & you need to decide for yourself if you're ready or not.

Personally, my body or mind was not ready to be pregnant again after 5 or 6 months. I wanted to fit into my "skinny" jeans before I even thought about being in maternity clothes again. Plus just the thought of morning sickness again made me want to vomit!

Good luck with your decision.

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

I'm not sure I see the reason for a rush. Why not enjoy the child you just brought into the world?

I conceived my second, when my first was 7 mos and it was very hard on the body. I had had 2 previous miscarriages before this and I was scared to death that I conceived too quickly. I had 3 scares with this pregnancy, but #2 son came out just perfect.

I don't really think you're ready, especially if your questioning it. Explain to dh that you'd love another child, but to give you a little time to get back to yourself. Of course the decision is very personal and shouldn't be made by anyone else. Good luck!!!

 

[disneydancer1969]

i think i say yes. anyone know how to close a thread

 

[Not so Dumbo]

considering your first is only 5months old, if I were you, I'd tell DH if he so much as touches me anytime in the next 2 years I'd kill him Seriously, don't rush things, when you feel that you might be ready for another one then start discussing it. I wouldn't feel that you need to give him a definite answer right away.

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

Now I have a question. If the majority of your answers seem like "no" and you now say yes, why did you bother asking the question?

 

[barkley]

i can only comment on my personal experiences. dh and i wanted our kids to be close in age (we were both the youngest with 6-12 years between us and our closest sibs). we 'timed' it such that our kids are almost to the day 2 1/2 years apart in age. we felt this (1) gave my body time to rest and recover, (2) gave the older time to mature such that i would not be dealing with 2 infants at one time, and (3) gave the older enough time that we could devote time such that it would not have extensive issues with 'sharing mom and dad' (and we did some intensive work with dd-including going to her daycare setting and having her observe us with other children in our laps/arms-letting her sit on our laps while we held infants-we've known way too many young toddlers who have had bad reactions to a 'newcomer' in the family 'barging into' their 'territory').

if a person has a 5 month old and decides to conceive another-best case scenario there will be a newborn and a 14 month old in the house. maybe do-able for some parents, but in our case wherein i (mom) had to plan financialy to accrue some sick leave for those post delivery baby appts., illnesses...not covered by state disability insurance (in california 6 weeks post partum), had to plan for double daycare (i was paying close to $800 for one), had to consider the emotional toll on the older child who might be transitioning from crib to toddler bed-diapers to potty training...just not an option without a minimum 2 1/2 year span (plus i was in my late 30's-and my bod needed time to recover before it was healthy enuf to handle another pregnancy).

 

[MELSMICE]

Now I have a question. If the majority of your answers seem like "no" and you now say yes, why did you bother asking the question?

I wondered the exact same thing. Kind of strange, huh?

 

[N.Bailey]

I'm not taking the poll either, but if you're not ready right now, there really is no hurry. Take some time and just enjoy your little one right now. My 2 are 13 months apart and it was no easy job during those early years. I can imagine how difficult it is for someone with twins.

Besides, with a little one like you have, it will make bed rest MUCH harder right now. Right now, your in the major physical part of parenting. Many will tell you it only gets harder, but I say, don't listen to them. It most certainly does not get harder; at least not physically!

 

[*Fantasia*]

I didn't vote. But what if we all said "NO".. is that mean you won't have another one cause we DISers voted on it? What would your husband think if you based your decision on the poll here on the DIS?

Good luck on your final decision. I hope on your next pregnancy will be an easy one that is if you decide to have another one.

 

[MELSMICE]

I can imagine how difficult it is for someone with twins.

I have twins & my oldest DD was 3 when I had them. To be honest, I think having twins is easier than having 2 that are very close in age. At least the twins were doing the same thing at the same time. With a young toddler & an infant I think it would be more difficult getting them on any type of similiar schedule. JMO!

 

[Aimeedyan]

How can strangers on the internet decide if you should have another child? It's none of our business!

I am constantly amazed by the things asked on the Dis!

 

[disneydancer1969]

`anyone know how to close a post before it is scheduled to?

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

`anyone know how to close a post before it is scheduled to?

I closed the poll for you. I wasn't sure if it was just the poll you wanted closed or the entire thread. If you want the entire thread locked, just use the report this thread feature and ask for one of the admin to close it. I'm heading out the door in a minute so I may not catch your answer.

 

[powellrj]

my kids are 23, 15 and 10. As you can see we waited a long time between each child. You need to do whats right for you and only you and your DH can know what right is for your family. I can know most people don't think our "right" is the same as their right.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

considering your first is only 5months old, if I were you, I'd tell DH if he so much as touches me anytime in the next 2 years I'd kill him Seriously, don't rush things, when you feel that you might be ready for another one then start discussing it. I wouldn't feel that you need to give him a definite answer right away.

 

[azgal81]

I think you and your DH need to have a talk and have another when you are both ready. Sounds like you aren't especially if you are questioning those on the disboards.