What would you say if someone told you...

[megan4777]

that they didn't want to spend X-mas eve with you and your family (like they have for the last 3 or 4 yrs) b/c, "you have too much good food to tempt me and I'm trying to lose weight."

Ok, now what if it was your MIL that said that?? We're very close with her (or so we thought) so we are shocked.

I totally understand that the holidays are a tough time to try to eat well but it's not like we open a can of Crisco, give everyone a spoon and say, "dig in!!"

We have some appetizers, prime rib (I don't enjoy it so I make baked chicken...enough to share, if needed), potatoes, a veggie and dessert.
I don't understand. We don't eat a lot of junk so I feel like she's making an excuse.

Anyway, we're a bit hurt but know we can't change anything.

Unfortunately, there are going to be a few too many occasions where we're going to have to paste on those huge fake smiles and play nice.
Man I wish I was a kid again and didn't have to worry about any of this "adult" bologna anymore.

Ok, my whining session is done. How much do I owe?

 

[mrFDNY]

i would say,what time is dinner and what should i bring for dessert?

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

Boy would my DH love it at your house!!!(he LOVES prime rib).
If it were my MIL, I would be really PO'd.......
I don't think this is a good reason not to spend the holiday with you.
ETA: baked chicken and a veggie... what is wrong with that??? That should fit into a "diet". Sounds like an excuse on her part - for whatever reason she may have.

 

[jamzots]

Sounds like my MIL, sure we're not related? My MIL uses her diet as an excuse when she is at my house, yet she continues to go up the ladder in her weight. She is constantly complaining about whatever it is I make for dinner. It could be salad and she would still find some kind of fault with it. Typical MIL stuff.

 

[Boo'sMom]

well, if it were my MIL, I'd say I just witnessed a Christmas Miracle

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd say "pick your battles". If you have a generally good relationship with your MIL, then maybe what's she's saying is true. Yes, you make baked chicken and veggies, but guess what...to a person who truly can't control themselves, if there's prime rib, lots of great side dishes, and lots of gooey desserts, chicken & veggies isn't going to cut it for them!

If you don't have a good relationship with your MIL, then perhaps she doesn't want to be in your company because there is tension, and figures that this is a nicer way of getting out of it, rather than saying "I don't want to come to your house because I am not comfortable there".

I had a good DMIL. We got along fairly well. She was difficult about certain things, and had a strong personality, but she & I "did the dance" and really got along OK. There were times when I bit my lip, but my main concern was not ever putting DH into the position where he had to "choose". I always approached it from the perspective that his mother and I were the 2 women he loved most in the world, so if she & I had a contentious relationship, the only person I'd be hurting was him. Since I love him, I didn't want to hurt him. In his defense, he always supported me though, when we had difficult moments with his mother. But there were times when I'd step back, stay quiet or do something I didnt necessarily agree with or want to do, to keep the peace. We all cared for her while she was dying, and those are some of the most comforting memories I have of our relationship. My DMIL taught me much in those loast 3 months of her life.

 

[kilee]

There is really nothing you can do. However, I think it's a poor excuse. The person could most certainly show one ounce of will power and only eat the healthy foods- and/or indulge alittle for the holiday put in small portions.

 

[MELSMICE]

I wouldn't fret over it. It's her decision & not yours. You did nothing wrong.

I would tell her, "That's too bad that you won't be joining us. We will miss you."

My IL's called on Thanksgiving at 2 p.m. to say they wouldn't be here for dinner at 4 p.m. because it was snowing & there was a "possibility" the weather was going to get bad. No skin off my back, but I sure felt bad for my DH.

 

[DJBounce]

I would have to agree with MELSMICE. I might be hard to not have them over for Christmas this year, but what can you do? A nice reply like MELSMICE suggested will let them know that it is a disappointment.