What would you do?

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by ohanafamily
So Sad, there are lots of frozen foods that are low everything. Unfortunately a lot of the diets out there achieve this by starving a nutrient. that may not be the best thing for his condition....

Isn't there a cancer support group on the internet? I think [COLOR=009966]NC Belle[/COLOR] has a good Idea with
www.americanheart.org, but I think that there is a drug company that has a Cancer Support group...I did a google search, and here are a few (I skipped the Breast Cancer Specific ones)
http://www.cancerlinksusa.com/support/index.asp
http://www.cancernews.com/default2.asp
http://cis.nci.nih.gov/fact/8_8.htm
http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/
http://cancer.gov
-> Toll-free: 1–800–4–CANCER (1–800–422–6237)

http://www.oncochat.org/ has lots of hugs, but no Dr.s...


I hope these help, Google has lots more, all seem helpful...

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Thanks SOOO much for all of those links! I'm going to check them out later today!!

 

[Melora]

So sorry about what you are going through C. Ann. Having just gone through something similiar with my mom I know how hard it is watching someone and being helpless.

Just a note in regard to Hospice.... I told Jeff the other day that my moms doctor did the best service in the world by putting her on hospice and Jeff said that anyone can recommend a person to be on Hospice... not just a doctor. My mom wasn't terminal when the doc put her on it, just couldn't get out of the house anymore. Hospice was the best thing in the world for us and they provided so many services free of charge. (Well they billed medicare).

I would just give a look into your local hospice and see what their rules and regulations are. We changed Hospices when we moved and the new one was so much better!

As for the food..try to "healthy" food aisle at the supermarket for cheese puffs..maybe those are lower in salt. My moms caregiver tried to limit her sweets at one point and I told her that it really didnt matter. At that point I knew it kept her happy, but my mom was so skinny.. probably 75 pounds when she finally died. Most of it in her legs from the swelling she had from sitting all the time and refusing to get in bed.

 

[froglady]

If he can tolerate nutrasweet, SF jello with Cool Whip free is a sweet snack with minimal calories. I also eat the jello fat free double chocolate pudding, or ANY of the FF puddings, with a dollop of Cool Whip when my sweet tooth is acting up.

 

[danacara]

To take a totally different tack, I wonder if the best thing for him and for your marriage at this emotionally wrenching point is to just let him eat. He's at 265, you're at less than 100 ... even if he loses fifty pounds, you aren't going to be able to maneuver him or lift him much better than you can now. And food is probably one of the only pleasures this man has now, plus, when he maintains control over what he eats, he maintains his dignity. Even though this weight gain is fueled by inactivity and depression, I wonder if some small part of him is afraid of wasting away with the cancer ... we've all known or known of someone to whom that has happened. The eating might be a defensive move.

Whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you both.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by danacara
To take a totally different tack, I wonder if the best thing for him and for your marriage at this emotionally wrenching point is to just let him eat. He's at 265, you're at less than 100 ... even if he loses fifty pounds, you aren't going to be able to maneuver him or lift him much better than you can now. And food is probably one of the only pleasures this man has now, plus, when he maintains control over what he eats, he maintains his dignity. Even though this weight gain is fueled by inactivity and depression, I wonder if some small part of him is afraid of wasting away with the cancer ... we've all known or known of someone to whom that has happened. The eating might be a defensive move.

Whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you both.

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Thank you SO much for that view point! Up until now I haven't made much of a fuss about his eating for the exact reasons you have stated.. WHAT he eats - and WHEN he eats - is about the ONLY thing in his life that he can control now (well - aside from the t.v. remote ).. The poor guy is basically a prisoner in this house and I really, really hate to take away the only things he enjoys and make his life anymore miserable than it already is.. I mean - let's face it - he is not going to get better - EVER - so why make him live in misery, right?

Well - here's the "rub".. It's everyone else hounding me and making "comments" - specifically, my stepchildren.. They seem to think that I'm killing him, rather than the cancer and other host of health problems that are doing him in.. Once they start in on me, I start feeling guilty and wonder if I shouldn't be doing "more"..

And you're absolutely right about his weight and my ability to move him around - even if he lost 100 lbs.. Healthwise and strengthwise I can't do it - but I hate having to rely on others for help.. It's just hard for me to accept that I can't take care of him on my own..

I'm going to give some serious thought to what you have pointed out and maybe just throw in some healthier treats along with the "not-so-healthy" ones..

Thank goodness for the CB and all who have responded here.. I don't know who else to talk to about this stuff..