What would you do?

[C.Ann]

Most of you know the condition of my DH's health and the fact that he's on oxygen 24/7 now and only leaves the house to go to the doctor's every 3 to 4 months..

Well - because he can't do anything but sit and watch television 24/7, he's constantly eating something and is up to 256 lbs. now.. (A 10 lb. increase since his dr.'s appt. in October..) The dr. feels I should just let him be - considering the circumstances and long-term prognosis for his health..

Part of me wants to curtail his eating habits and try to force him to eat not only better, but less.. Then another part of me thinks I should just let him enjoy whatever he wants..

What would you do?

Any suggestions on somewhat "healthier" junk I could buy for him? He does eat yogurt - and NutriGrain bars - but that's not enough for him - he wants other snacks available too.. About the only fruit he'll eat is bananas - and vegetables are totally out of the question..

 

[Serena]

C.Ann, I'm terribly sorry, but my memory has disappeared. I forget his actual physical condition. Is he bedridden and unable to get up at all? Do you have to help him move around and get dressed and the like?

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by Serena
C.Ann, I'm terribly sorry, but my memory has disappeared. I forget his actual physical condition. Is he bedridden and unable to get up at all? Do you have to help him move around and get dressed and the like?

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No - he's not bedridden - although when I take him to the doctors I have to push him in a wheelchair because he can't walk more than 10 feet or so without being so out of breath that he can't even breathe WITH the oxygen..

Here at the house he can get to the bathroom, dress himself, get to the fridge, and even do some cooking - as long as he has the O2 on and doesn't exert himself..

He does have to sleep in a recliner though - in a semi-reclining position - or he can't breathe at all..

It's really hard for me to push him in the wheelchair because right now I weigh less than 100 lbs. and I don't know what I'll do if he gets much bigger!

 

[Serena]

Ok, I wouldn't put him on a diet, but I would reduce any junk he happens to eat. I wouldn't have the heart to cut it totally out. But, you have to be able to take care of him and at your weight and his, that has got to be a problem.
So, I would change his diet some, for your health and his.

 

[Cruisin]

If he doesn't get out of the house at all, he can only eat what you bring in for him or whatever he can have delivered to the house.

Maybe you could slowly start to change the style of foods you have available for him to snack on. Perhaps introduce one healthy thing a week and neglect to buy something that is not so healthy for him. When he asks for something unhealthy say. "oh, I forgot to pick that up when I was at the store"

That way you could start to change his habits and not deny him totally all at once. He might feel a bit better too.

 

[ohanafamily]

Pixie dust to both of you!!!

What is his long-term prognosis? I would ask the Dr. what foods will help him. I also agree that you can't just stop the foods he likes, but you can sneak healthier foods in and slowly taper off the bad foods.

More PD to you!!!!!

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by ohanafamily
Pixie dust to both of you!!!

What is his long-term prognosis?

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Basically his condition is deemed "terminal" (they have exhausted all efforts - experimental and otherwise - to stop his cancer) and he also suffers from congestive heart failure; atrial fibrillation; COPD; Paget's Disease; etc.. This is why the doctor doesn't feel he should be "deprived" of anything - simply because it really won't make any difference now in terms of his health..

However, if he just keeps getting larger and larger, not only could that result in the "end" coming sooner, but it's going to make it that much harder for me to take care of him.. Eventually he WILL be bedridden and then I've got a serious problem.. (Which is part of the reason that we're going to be moving in with my DD and her DH..)

I was kind of hoping that someone on the boards here could give me some ideas of foods that would "pass" for treats or junk food but that would be a little better than what he eats now..

I know lots of folks here are on various diets, so what all do you eat for a "treat" that actually SEEMS like a treat? As I said earlier, he WILL eat yogurt and NutriGrain bars.. What else could I buy him?

 

[Dopeygirl]

Does he like ice cream? There are lots of great low-sugar/low-fat ice creams out there. Edy's makes a great no-sugar added and no-sugar added fat-free ice creams. Their Grand Light versions are also great. My husband is fairly picky about his ice cream and he loves these. Klondike has some Slim-A-Bear ice cream products that are really good also (I prefer the 98% FF to the Sugar-Free).

I recently picked up Cracker Jacks and was surprised to see that they werne't all that bad--120 calories, 2g fat, 1g fiber but a bit high in sugar (15g). One box tastes so "sinful" to me.

There are a lot of pretty good reduced-fat products in the chips aisles (Baked Lays, RF Cheez-Its/Cheese Nips, RF Ruffles (taste better than the real thing to me), etc...) I think manufacturers have come a long way in this area!!

If he likes bananas, what about frozen chocolate-covered bananas? They can be bought in the freezer section or easily made.

Does he like granola-type bars? Kudos has a line that taste a lot like candy bars to me--the Snickers are my favorite, the M&M ones are pretty good too. Slim-Fast has some snack bars that taste candy bar-ish but with some added nutrients. The peanut butter crunch reminds me of a butterfinger, the carmel crisp reminds me of a 100 Grand, etc...There are a lot of great granola-type/meal replacement bars out there now that taste pretty "sinful".

Does he like orange-flavored things? I love a "milkshake" made with an orange (sectioned), a packet of the vanilla Carnation instand breakfast (the lower-sugar kind), ice and a scoop or two of ice cream (all blended together). I get in some nutrients with the Carnation, a fruit serving AND it tastes pretty-darn good. I also make a chcolate milkshake with the packets, chocolate syrup and then the ice and ice cream. Yogurt could also be substituted for the ice cream.

I'll keep thinking! Does he prefer salty-type snacks? Sweet? Things that require no preparation?

 

[C.Ann]

Thanks for all of those suggestions!

He likes salty things (which I DO try to limit because his feet swell SOOOOO badly - they look like they're going to explode!), spicey things, and sweet things..

The less preparation the better because he munches all night while I'm sleeping and during the day if I have to be out.. That's why the NutriGrain bars are a good thing.. I also buy him fig newton bars every week (he likes them and I "think" they're a little healthier)..

He does have a hard time chewing (anything real hard or nutty) so that eliminates a few items.. Right now he's DYING for Cheese Twists or Cheese Balls BUT they're SOOOOO bad for his feet! Do you know of any substitutes for them?

I also usually buy him those Little Debbie Oatmeal cookies with the filling.. Maybe not terribly good for him, but at least the "oatmeal" part is good..

 

[NC Belle]

I was wondering if you have a nutriutionist/dietician for your hubby--when I was working with MR/DD adults, we had specialized diets for each client who need the extra planning--whether to lose or gain weight. You said your husband is terminal--I hope you don't mind me asking or sharing. I discovered how hospice was a great help to a client and her family & caregivers. The hospice volunteer gave great tips and support. It was like an extra team support to what my employer could give at that time. Some of my relatives with severe weight issues and other related illnesses found that their dietician was the best thing for them in adapting to better eating habits and what could ease their conditions.


I am praying for you and your hubby.

 

[disneydragon]

How about asking some of the mums on the boards what they feed their kids when they want to give them a healthy snack? I'll bet you would get lots of ideas from them.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by NC Belle
I was wondering if you have a nutriutionist/dietician for your hubby--when I was working with MR/DD adults, we had specialized diets for each client who need the extra planning--whether to lose or gain weight. You said your husband is terminal--I hope you don't mind me asking or sharing. I discovered how hospice was a great help to a client and her family & caregivers. The hospice volunteer gave great tips and support. It was like an extra team support to what my employer could give at that time. Some of my relatives with severe weight issues and other related illnesses found that their dietician was the best thing for them in adapting to better eating habits and what could ease their conditions.


I am praying for you and your hubby.

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Unfortunatley my DH is receiving all of his care through the VA now (we wiped out all of his retirement/pension savings on medical bills and had no other options left) and they're not big on providing ANYTHING but the most minimal care.. What that boils down to is his oxygen and the necessary meds to try to keep him alive as long as possible.. Hospice is not an option until they can actually say with some certainty that they only expect him to live "x" amount of time and aside from his stint in the ICU a year ago July, they're not ready to put a time frame on it quite yet.. (Last year they basically had him dead and buried, but being the stubborn old ex-Marine that he is, he surprised them all and pulled through anyhow!) I absolutely LOATHE dealing with the VA but we don't have a choice because his meds alone would run us over $1600 a month.. So - I'm trying to do what I can on my own to monitor his health the best I can and it sure is a challenge at times.. Thus my request for info here.. Thanks so much for the suggestions though!

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by disneydragon
How about asking some of the mums on the boards what they feed their kids when they want to give them a healthy snack? I'll bet you would get lots of ideas from them.

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Great idea!!!!!!!!!! Should I ask here - or over on Disney For Families?

 

[disneydragon]

I would post in both places. It can't hurt and you'll get more feedback. Good luck!

 

[FINFAN]

I personally like to make ice cubes out of favorite juices etc., I am always thirsty and the crunching of the ice is like chewing. I also like cherry tomatos or carrots to dip into ranch dressing. Salsa is pretty low calorie and I have seen low salt corn chips somewhere....sorry not of more help...did you check w/the recipe board? I'll bet they can be of great help.

Pam

 

[Planogirl]

You mentioned spicy food and something I'm making right now came to mind. Does he like jalapenos? I like to make well seasoned tuna salad and stuff this into the large canned jalapenos. I halve the peppers and make sure to remove the seeds before stuffing to keep the fire level down. DH who is unfortunately really into junk food loves these and they do seem a bit sinful.

Animal crackers and Teddy grahams aren't too bad for store-bought cookies. Chocolate syrup is low fat if you can use that somehow.

Good luck.

 

[NC Belle]

I'm so sorry C. Ann. My beloved client (she was like part of the family) had more resources I guess from where she lived, government, and other. Some of my uncles also get bad service from the VA hospitals too. I wish that I could name some good resources in your neck of the woods.

I think its a wonderful idea about the food bars--maybe for the lighter meals and perhaps instead of having three meals--6 smaller meals/snacks. This may keep his metabolism up and get the weight down. I hope he can continue eating foods like fruit and vegetables for lower fat options.

Have you check out sites like www.americanheart.org and the one for COPD to see if there are dietary tips. My doctor gives away brochures on our visits. The AHA Brochure that I have on cholesterol gives good steps towards healtier eating.

 

[ohanafamily]

So Sad, there are lots of frozen foods that are low everything. Unfortunately a lot of the diets out there achieve this by starving a nutrient. that may not be the best thing for his condition....

Isn't there a cancer support group on the internet? I think [COLOR=009966]NC Belle[/COLOR] has a good Idea with
www.americanheart.org, but I think that there is a drug company that has a Cancer Support group...I did a google search, and here are a few (I skipped the Breast Cancer Specific ones)
http://www.cancerlinksusa.com/support/index.asp
http://www.cancernews.com/default2.asp
http://cis.nci.nih.gov/fact/8_8.htm
http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/
http://cancer.gov
-> Toll-free: 1–800–4–CANCER (1–800–422–6237)

http://www.oncochat.org/ has lots of hugs, but no Dr.s...


I hope these help, Google has lots more, all seem helpful...

 

[Jeafl]

My kids love sugary sweet cereal, but I won't let them have it for breakfast. I do buy it, however, and let them have a small baggie of it for snacks. They love stuff like peanut butter crunch, Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms, etc. At least there is a lot of vitamins in it, and it satisfies the "crunchy" urge. Good luck, and I will keep you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[CEDmom]

Here are a few snacks my DD loves:

popcorn - the kettle corn type is especially good (salty & sweet). To control the amount of salt you could make your own on the stove.

frozen tubes of yogurt - you could put a popcicle stick in a regular container of yogurt and make frozen yogurt pops

fruit kebobs w/ honey-yogurt dip

veggies & dip (it's amazing the veggies kids will eat when you include a little dip)

celery filled w/ cream cheese

Good luck .