what would you do??

[huckster]

if you were working in a public place and saw a parent jerking a small ones arm very hard and over and over again and screaming at them to be good then hit them on the but.. .. would you step in ?

 

[tiggersmom2]

if you were working in a public place and saw a parent jerking a small ones arm very hard and over and over again and screaming at them to be good then hit them on the but.. .. would you step in ?

Are you serious? Heck no, I would mind my own business.

 

[noseybuddy]

If this behavior was taking place where I work, I would tell the person that, that kind of behavior is NOT premitted here and he/she would need to leave. It would take all the will power in the world to keep me from slapping the person up side their head which I would not do, but would be tempted.

 

[SqueakyMouse]

I'd contact the police immediately.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I would not interfere (based on the actions described in OP). Maybe the swat on the rear end is a bit much for public, but I appreciate a parent pulling a kid aside (by the arm) and having a word with the kid.

 

[sweet angel]

I would not interfere (based on the actions described in OP). Maybe the swat on the rear end is a bit much for public, but I appreciate a parent pulling a kid aside (by the arm) and having a word with the kid.

I'd have no problem with the smack on the butt, but pulling hard on the arm would bother me. I know people who have accidentally dislocated their kid's arm by doing that -- and not pulling hard.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I'd contact the police immediately.

You would contact the police over a parent swatting their child on the butt and pulling on their arm?!!! You would look pretty ridiculous if you did that. Unless you had proof this child was being abused they would LAUGH (or more probably roll their eyes) at you for wasting their time.

 

[JerryMoCricketsGal]

As someone who was raised in the era of getting their butt swatted in public....heck..if i ran from my mother, a stranger would catch me and beat my butt until my mother could catch up...I must say that I there is a difference between a swat on the butt and beating a child.

The grabbing of the arm thing...no way..not tolerable..and I understand your distress in doing what is right in that situation. Watching a child get their butt swatted, not abuse (putting flame suit on here)

I don't touch hot stoves...why? Because my mother swatted my hand back when I was a kid...

I do not steal....why? because when i was a kid I took 'one of those candy bars by the end of the aisle at kmart that were free (at least to my 5 year old mind they were)"...and my mother found it...my butt still burns from that

I do not lie...because lying will prolong the punishment..they know what you did...take the spanking and deal with it....

So when you try to decide if another's behavior is acceptable and ask for advice on what to do...put the situation in perspective and do what is right in your heart.

I don't agree with a child's arm being jolted, that is dangerous, but if they got their butt swatted for misbehaving, well, then they probably deserved it.

I don't agree with people that say 'I never spank my child, oh wait..i'lll put them on drugs to make them behave". That is what our society leans towards...if a child misbehaves, drug them up...you can find threads on here that endorse it over and over...

I think that any REAL parent knows the difference between spanking and beating a child. Those that don't drug their kids up and ask the system to help.

So in response to your question, the grabbing of the arm = not appropriate, but the swat on the butt (unless it was beating the child with a belt or something) should be ignored.

Your response is entirely based on your beliefs....many say "spare the rod, spoil the child"...I don't agree with that...

your decision is based on what YOU feel..

 

[Mishetta]

No, of course a parent should NEVER discipline their child at all ~ not in private & not in public.....all these cute little tikes should grow up like wild animals who have no regard for anything in life.

That's the problem with today's world....a parent is not allowed to discipline their child. I do not believe in child abuse (& would report that immediately) but a swat on the butt when it's warranted ~ heck yeah! I can't comment on the pulling of the arm but a person can only have so much patience & a kid can be extremely trying at times!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

A modest defense of arm-pulling...

One thing I try not to do is embarass my kids in public. I don't want to cripple their developing confidence and self-identity, so often instead of, for example, raising my voice and wagging my finger while in the main aisle of the store, I will pull the unruly child aside (firmly, but probably not in the manner of arm-tugging some of you are referring to) and speak to him or her (I have one of each) calmly but firmly. In order to do this it means I must grasp the child's arm or collar and guide him where I want him to go. I do try to be aware of their fragile bones and joints, and I try to not make a big scene out of it because what is important is that I get my point across to my child.

FWIW, swats on the butt just never have worked real well with my kids. Not that I am against it, but it has simply not been effective.

 

[JerryMoCricketsGal]

A modest defense of arm-pulling...

One thing I try not to do is embarass my kids in public. I don't want to cripple their developing confidence and self-identity, so often instead of, for example, raising my voice and wagging my finger while in the main aisle of the store, I will pull the unruly child aside (firmly, but probably not in the manner of arm-tugging some of you are referring to) and speak to him or her (I have one of each) calmly but firmly. In order to do this it means I must grasp the child's arm or collar and guide him where I want him to go. I do try to be aware of their fragile bones and joints, and I try to not make a big scene out of it because what is important is that I get my point across to my child.

FWIW, swats on the butt just never have worked real well with my kids. Not that I am against it, but it has simply not been effective.

PLEASE do NOT take offense to my previous thing on the arm pulling...we've all pulled our child back to us...but sometimes I've seen parents jolt their children...and when i say 'jolt'...you can hear the snap...i can't comprehend that

My comments about the arm pulling was for the 'jolters'....hope that makes sense...

You seem like a great mom and I apologize if I offended...

I hope you recognize my distiction between "come back here" pulling and "jolting".

 

[Tigger&Belle]

The hard arm jerking would concern me since the shoulder can be dislocated. I wouldn't call the police over the matter, but I might mention to the parent that hard jerking can can dislocation. I might also express my feeling that children can be very trying sometimes. Makes it less likely that the parent is going to get the child in private and really beat the crap out of him/her than lecturing and embarrassing the parent would. And I'm not saying that I haven't ever grabbed my children by their arms, but you were describing hard jerking.

Do I think it's abuse? Maybe, maybe not. Hard to tell with that description, but it could be harmful to the child.

 

[lulugirl]

No, I wouldn't step in. What you described doesn't sound like abuse to me.

 

[eeyore kelly]

When I managed a children's Place store, a customer took a belt off the wall and proceed to beat her child small child 2 or 3 with it. I told her she couldn't use my merchandise like that since she didn't pay for it. She threw the belt on the floor and walked away.

There is a fine line between when to step in and when to let it be.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

The butt smacking wouldn't bother me, the arm jerking might, it depends. And I wouldn't say a word. I would mind my own business.