What would you do...son's website!!

[kimmar067]

On these Boards lately you have to wear your "flame suit" just for writing "Good Morning"!
Even I got flamed from another poster in this thread! ??????
Ignore the flamers! But don't ignore how the experience of having all this info put on the internet made you feel! It is not about how MANY or if NO people saw the website...It is Still a violation on your families privacy. And should be handled accordingly.

Good Morning!

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[LindsayDunn228]

DS does "know better" than to give out personal information like he did. We had gone over it and over it prior to this ever taking place. He knows the rules as far as not giving out info to strangers; on the phone, on the internet, anywhere! But it is one of those things that half the time kids don't listen to their own parents and sometimes need another adult - another authority figure - to get the message through to them! We've talked to DS about it since this incident and he said that he didn't think he was posting personal info, that he was just telling about his family which he is very proud of. He then asked me "if the info was too personal why didn't the teacher tell him so."

So in addition to an apology from the teacher and a note in her file, what punishment are you going to give your son for disobeying you and putting all that info out there? Sorry, but if your son truly knows better, he is not completely innocent in this incident. I don't see why all the rage is directed at the teacher.

 

[r3ngels]

You're welcome to try. Yes, you will find info here on the dis. I know that you'll find my real name, my kid's real names, info on the fact that my DH is in law enforcement, hobbies and you'll probably be able to figure out the geographical location I live in here in the US. You will not find any pictures of my DS or any of my kids, the city I live in (and I doubt even the county I live in), the name(s) and location(s) of the school(s) that my children attend and certainly not directions on how to get to my children's school(s)! But if you do want to find out all that info you're going to have to really invest some time. It's not going to be conveniently gathered together in one post here on the disboards as it was conveniently together on the combination of the school's and my son's webpage. However, if I had chosen to post all of that information that is my right to do that. It is not the teacher's or anyone else's right.

I agree with this... no school name, city name, address, kids name... plus you would have to sort through the years that I have been here to do that...

 

[magicmirror]

So in addition to an apology from the teacher and a note in her file, what punishment are you going to give your son for disobeying you and putting all that info out there? Sorry, but if your son truly knows better, he is not completely innocent in this incident. I don't see why all the rage is directed at the teacher.

Just feel the need to interject that her son is a child. He did an assignment for school, probably having no idea his work would be made public on the internet. Let me say it again, he's a CHILD. The teacher used bad judgement. Parents and children should be able to trust the fact that a teacher "or any other person in an authoritative position" will handle private information appropriately. This teacher didn't, how can we blame this on the child? I don't believe the teacher should be "burned at the stake" for this, but she did make a bad call, and should be reprimanded and reminded that she can't share personal information about her students, which she should have known all along. She should also apologize, admit her mistake, and assure the op that this sort of thing will not occur again.
OP: you didn't overreact, and you know that. You took precautionary measures to protect your family. You did your job as a parent. The teacher was irresponsible.

 

[robinb]

But as I said at the top of this post, I never thought I'd have to get out my flame suit for this thread as I felt I needed for this post.

I fail to see how momof2inPA's post can be considered a "flame". You have more than 11,000 posts under your belt so I'm surprised that you took it that way. It was an honest question: what do you want out of this?. She also pointed out that the DIS is less anonymous than you may think and that a variety of information about a person is public access and can be obtained on the Internet. The dedicated criminal could ferret out information without hanging out on your child's school website hoping for him to post a website.

I have re-read everything you wrote and I still think you are overreacting., even with the additional information about your husband. I also think that you are making a mountain out of a molehill with your apparent need for vengeance against this teacher. Talking to the administration and having the website removed doesn't seem to be enough for you. You want an apology, but won't ask for it and you want the incident written up in her personnel record. {{shrug}} I think both the school and the teacher get the point already and won't do it again.

And no, this is not a flame either. Just my opinion on the matter.

 

[grlpwrd]

Well, your son does bear some responsibility if he knew beforehand that the assignment was to create a website as you stated: My son is 13, just finishing 8th grade. For a school project he was required to make a web site. My DH and I knew that he was working on this. Surely, you or your dh taught him what may and may not be disclosed beforehand, especially being that your dh is in law enforcement as you say.

Now I am thinking that because he turned it in the teacher may actually have thought you and/or your dh gave consent to publish it.

Having some bad experiences online with another board I wouldn't just fear strangers, but people who are members of the same board that you belong and then turn on you and try to track you down. I have personally known 2 people who have lost their jobs because people retaliated. There are some vicious people out there, unfortunately.

No, I am not flaming, but in light of more recent posts I do see it somewhat differently now. You are not being flamed, by the way. Questioned and called out, but not flamed.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Just feel the need to interject that her son is a child. He did an assignment for school, probably having no idea his work would be made public on the internet. Let me say it again, he's a CHILD.

Yes, but he is old enough to know right from wrong. A 13-year old is old enough to have some personal accountability.

 

[Caradana]

That kind of reminds me of the directories everyone would get Freshman year of college. They had everyone's picture and campus phone number. So, all the hot girls and guys got tons of phone calls for the first couple of weeks. That was a really dumb idea, too. I wonder if colleges still do that.

Hi there,
I'm inclined to agree with robinb as to your reaction on this point, and I wanted you to know that if your son goes to Princeton in five years, his picture will be published in a book along with his name, campus address, your home address, major, and birthday. That book will be distributed to about 4000 of his peers and is available for purchase online by anyone - university affiliated or not - for $15. It's a handy book, great for researching people who might catch your eye

This is also true at Dartmouth, Harvard, I know that Yale has one, I believe that Rutgers has this information online ... I know that student info and addresses are available for viewing by anyone who visits the University of Texas website ...

 

[r3ngels]

Hi there,
I'm inclined to agree with robinb as to your reaction on this point, and I wanted you to know that if your son goes to Princeton in five years, his picture will be published in a book along with his name, campus address, your home address, major, and birthday. That book will be distributed to about 4000 of his peers and is available for purchase online by anyone - university affiliated or not - for $15. It's a handy book, great for researching people who might catch your eye

This is also true at Dartmouth, Harvard, I know that Yale has one, I believe that Rutgers has this information online ... I know that student info and addresses are available for viewing by anyone who visits the University of Texas website ...

While I don't agree with this practice either... college students are ADULTS... not children.

 

[eeyoresmountainpals]

On these Boards lately you have to wear your "flame suit" just for writing "Good Morning"!
Even I got flamed from another poster in this thread! ??????
Ignore the flamers! But don't ignore how the experience of having all this info put on the internet made you feel! It is not about how MANY or if NO people saw the website...It is Still a violation on your families privacy. And should be handled accordingly.

Good Morning!

Thank you!

And good morning to you too!

 

[eeyoresmountainpals]

So in addition to an apology from the teacher and a note in her file, what punishment are you going to give your son for disobeying you and putting all that info out there? Sorry, but if your son truly knows better, he is not completely innocent in this incident. I don't see why all the rage is directed at the teacher.

Hmmmm. Maybe, then, I misworded my original post because if he truly knew better he wouldn't have done it.

No, he's not going to be punished at home for the incident. However, he has apologized (on his own - not because we asked him to), he has said that he will never do it again and we have put it in his kid/family file (our version of a personnel file ).

I am not directing any "rage" at this teacher. I am not looking to see her get fired. It's just that she has a job to do and she has privacy policies to follow. And if she doesn't follow the policies then she needs to be held accountable.

 

[eeyoresmountainpals]

Just feel the need to interject that her son is a child. He did an assignment for school, probably having no idea his work would be made public on the internet. Let me say it again, he's a CHILD. The teacher used bad judgement. Parents and children should be able to trust the fact that a teacher "or any other person in an authoritative position" will handle private information appropriately. This teacher didn't, how can we blame this on the child? I don't believe the teacher should be "burned at the stake" for this, but she did make a bad call, and should be reprimanded and reminded that she can't share personal information about her students, which she should have known all along. She should also apologize, admit her mistake, and assure the op that this sort of thing will not occur again.
OP: you didn't overreact, and you know that. You took precautionary measures to protect your family. You did your job as a parent. The teacher was irresponsible.

Thank you.

Our son is only 13. To me 13 is still a child and he is still learning. That's why he's in school...to learn.

Most everyone makes mistakes in their jobs / careers. I know that I have. But just because it is a "mistake" or it was done "unintentionally" that doesn't make it any less important. If you make a mistake, especially one that violates another person's security issues, then you need to be held accountable and you need to be big enough to apologize. I feel it's that simple.


Thanks again for your input magicmirror.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Hmmmm. Maybe, then, I misworded my original post because if he truly knew better he wouldn't have done it.

Here's what you said:

DS does "know better" than to give out personal information like he did.

By your own words, apparently he doesn't.

If I had done this at 13, my mom would have been livid at ME for putting all that information on there. I'm just not understanding why you are just letting your son get by with it and wanting the teacher reprimanded.

But hey, it's your kid, not mine.

 

[DISUNC]

If I had done this at 13, my mom would have been livid at ME for putting all that information on there. I'm just not understanding why you are just letting your son get by with it and wanting the teacher reprimanded.

But hey, it's your kid, not mine.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The kid was just doing a project for school. There was probably a certain criteria that had to be met.
He is 13. Most 13 year olds (nor do most adults) realize that anything you put on the internet is easily accessible by 6 BILLION people!

I don't think the Ops son did anything wrong.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The kid was just doing a project for school. There was probably a certain criteria that had to be met.
He is 13. Most 13 year olds (nor do most adults) realize that anything you put on the internet is easily accessible by 6 BILLION people!

I don't think the Ops son did anything wrong.

I just pointed it out that the OP made a point to say her son knows better than to do things like this. Well he obviously didn't and now everyone is blaming the teacher. That's what I don't get. The kid is just getting away with it. I'm sorry, but he knew exactly what he was doing and I think he needs to share some responsibility. If the kid "had been taught internet safety" and whatnot like the OP claimed, wouldn't the kid have the common sense to approach his teacher/parents with "Um, is it safe to put this info on the internet" while working on the project??

 

[poohandwendy]

ok, what I dont understand is if you are so concerned that this info being out there, for even a short time, is such a threat...then why is your only reaction to talk to the school? Why aren't you lving in a hotel or selling your house? My point is, there is obviously a part of you that knows that the odds are miniscule that anything bad would come of this, or you would be taking drastic measures to make sure your family is safe.

In other words, you can't have it both ways. You can't say this is a huge threat to your personal safety that demands major attention at the school, meanwhile not doing anything about the emminent threat you say has been thrust upon you.

It's sort of like suing a gun company for their gun going off in your home, all the while continuing to keep the gun in your house. You either really feel threatened or you don't. I don't think you do, I think you are just mad. Which is understandable. But that should be the reaction. I am mad, the issue was taken care of, end of story.

I think bringing it to the attention of the school and making sure the info was removed is an appropriate reaction. Anything beyond that is excessive and overreacting, IMHO.

 

[MAKmom]

The teacher did a dumb thing. I can't believe they did not get you to sign off on this. I would be upset too. I would OVERREACT. You have to think about all the possibilities when it is your child. That being said ....If your son plays sports or wins an award in high school next year he may be in the newspaper with the name of his school , his name & picture. I did not read every response to this thread. Sorry if this was mentioned.

 

[eeyoresmountainpals]

I just pointed it out that the OP made a point to say her son knows better than to do things like this. Well he obviously didn't and now everyone is blaming the teacher. That's what I don't get. The kid is just getting away with it. I'm sorry, but he knew exactly what he was doing and I think he needs to share some responsibility. If the kid "had been taught internet safety" and whatnot like the OP claimed, wouldn't the kid have the common sense to approach his teacher/parents with "Um, is it safe to put this info on the internet" while working on the project??

Quote:
Originally Posted by eeyoresmountainpals
Hmmmm. Maybe, then, I misworded my original post because if he truly knew better he wouldn't have done it.



Here's what you said:

Quote:
Originally Posted by eeyoresmountainpals
DS does "know better" than to give out personal information like he did.

By your own words, apparently he doesn't.

That's right. Apparently he did not understand completely. My original post stated that he does know better. But later in this thread I posted that I had misworded - that I truly believe he did not know better. (You quoted both parts of those posts but not in order.) I had felt that he knew better but in discussing it with him it is clear that he didn't fully understand. It's like with so many lessons parents teach (or try to teach) to their children. You may think that they understand but until they actually come up against what you've been trying to teach them it really doesn't sink in.

If I had done this at 13, my mom would have been livid at ME for putting all that information on there. I'm just not understanding why you are just letting your son get by with it and wanting the teacher reprimanded.

We are not livid with our son. Maybe you were more mature at 13 than our son is. I never said that he doesn't have any responsibility here. But are you honestly thinking that the teacher has NO RESPONSIBILITY here?

Our son did the assignment as instructed. Our son did the entire project at school, none of it at home where we could help or monitor it. The very first page of his website showed his title, which was his first name and his last initial...no last name. Yes, his picture was on there (which, let's not forget the teacher supplied) and he had a little too much personal information on there. When an assignment is turned in is it not the teacher's responsibility to at the very least read over it and decide what is right and wrong with it? Should that not be a part of the grading process?

If this website had then been posted on a free yahoo site or google site as he had designed it there really wouldn't have been much of a problem. You would have seen a picture of a boy and you would have known his first name and some personal info. But what are the chances of knowing where in the US this boy lived.

But that's not the fact. The fact is that this teacher....NOT OUR SON...is the one that put it on the internet. Our son was told that it would be put on the internet but he was not shown how to do that and was not part of that process. To him, having it be put on the internet meant that he would have his own website that would stand on its own. The teacher put it on the internet...NOT OUR SON. The teacher is the one that made the choice to link it to the school website...NOT OUR SON. The teacher is the one that made the choice to add our son's last name...NOT OUR SON. So how can you say that our son deserves to shoulder the responsibility for this or deserves punishment for this?? He didn't do it, his teacher did!

But hey, it's your kid, not mine.

Although I feel this comment was totally uncalled for I'm still going to respond...

Yes, he is my son, not yours. And I'm proud to have a son like him. He did an EXCELLENT job on the technical part of this assignment by building a six page website with beautiful colors and graphics. And, let's not forget he was the only one to finish the project. He followed the instructions given and did the project the way that he was told to. He has learned from this experience what is appropriate and not appropriate to put on the internet. - I'd like to add that this is a lesson that he has learned at home because of all of the discussions that we have had with him since the incident. His teacher has not even talked to him about it since this was brought up. - He has apologized to us for having put too much info on his website but is wondering why the teacher let him do that. He put his trust in his teacher, an authority figure, and he felt that she would be helping him and teaching him the right way to do this project. After all, that's what teachers are supposed to do.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Although I feel this comment was totally uncalled for I'm still going to respond.

All I meant by that was you are going to do what you are going to do, it's your kid, not mine. No need to be upset about it. That wasn't a flame.

 

[darrose]

I think some of the posts sound flamish and I applaud the OP for stating her concerns and the polite way she has answered the people who are
sneaking in little digs at her and her son.