What would you do? Re: behavior at character meals

[jenjersnap]

Ok, I have really pondered whether to post this question, especially in light of the "Flame away - adults only" post but I am curious to know how others handle this and to get some guidance for future trips. Also, please bear in mind that I am not anti-kid nor anti-other-people's-kids nor do I have a stick up the ... well, you know. It's just that my 4-year-old was genuinely hurt by this and it has bothered me.

Last week we ate at CP for breakfast and LTT for dinner. It was just DS and I. Both times we were seated next to big and rowdy groups. Actually at LTT we were between a group and an upcoming Extreme Home Makeover family with sextuplets (that was amazing to behold and I am not really referring to them in my examples, except that they themselves as a group cause a lot of merited attention!). Both groups included exactly 3 kids who appeared to be between 6-and 10-years-old. Whenever a character would approach my DS, all 3 of the kids in each of these groups - who would be next to get a visit - would surround our table and demand his/her attention. It was worst at LTT where the 3 boys had little stuffed characters to match Chip, Dale, Goofy and Pluto and everyone in the group would start screaming and waving the stuffed toys, "Dale! Dale! DAAAALLLLLLLEEEEEE! Look here, look what we have here!" and then the boys would jump over into our space and claim all the attention. Same general thing at CP with the attention-seeking. The vast majority of the characters gave them what they wanted, barely patted my little guy on the head and then moved on to spend more time at their table. The exceptions were Eeyore who kinda shooed the kids away and Minnie who made a special trip back to kiss my DS's head and snuggle with him (clearly there was a kind-hearted woman in that costume!). DS felt ignored for the most part, asking me why we didn't get toys to get their attention, etc. I laughed it off with him - told him that these were obviously the kids' fave characters and they just couldn't wait, compared it to his love for Donald Duck, etc. - and distracted him otherwise so I am not sure if he even remembered it the next day. Just because we were only two people doesn't make us less deserving of attention.

The thing is I thought that wanting to co-opt the characters would be something DS would try in his enthusiasm so I started instructing him on proper character meal etiquette before our trip in December, that everyone gets a turn, that we stay in our seats, etc. And these adults (because who can blame the excited kids?) taught exactly the opposite behavior WORKS. Now, I am not asking anyone how to teach my DS right from wrong or why some do things we don't, I will handle that ... but would you have done anything in the situation? Said something to the waiter perhaps? Or whispered a request to the character to take time for DS? Or would you have said something to the adults in the party? Anyone have any creative, humorous ways of handling it? Or said nothing at all? Just curious to know. I am not very confrontational under normal circumstances but both DSs brings out the fierce mama lion in me.

Thanks for any input!

 

[720L]

I definitely would have politely said something to the waiter! Your poor son!

 

[NCRedding]

I also would ahve said something to my waiter. On our last trip to CP, our waiter noticed that a 4-5 year old kept leaving his table to go after the characters, (again, just being a kid) and the waiter told him--in a very friendly voice/tone, that he might miss someone if he didn't wait til the characters got to the table. Everyone was pleased with the situation. It must have been so hard for you to see this--we never like our kids to be disappointed.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I would have politely said something too. It was very rude of the Parents of those children not to stop their children! I would never allow my children to do that. They sit patiently and wait for the characters to come to them. But then again, I have also taught my children to say please and thank you.
Sorry this happened to you.

 

[nwdisgal]

I agree... Next time mention it to your waiter, or the floor supervisor. Alot of times the characters, or their attendent will manage the flow, but sounds like they might have been overwhelmed with the bombardment of attention hogs. I am glad a few characters made the effort to get back to the table and spend time with your son.

I understand kids enthusiasm when they see the characters, but the parents need to teach their children how to wait their turn and have respect for other people. Basically it is good manners, which seems to be a dying art form with the "me first mentality" taking over

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

I'm more surprised at the characters than the rude behavior by the parents. It seems as if they would be more "in tune" than that. But I guess it's hard to see everything with those costumes on, lol.

At the CP one year, Eeyore missed my son because he was at the buffet. When we were paying the bill, our waitress asked if we had seen everybody, and we told her that we'd missed Eeyore (through our OWN fault) and within one minute, Eeyore was at our table. The wait staff seems to be able to direct the characters.

I'm sorry that happened to your son. Kudos to you for smoothing things over for him.

Becky
(proud PPP member )

 

[nygrl]

forget the waiter i would have said something to the adults at the tabel. when i comes to my kids i get a little crazy. i would not have been rude but i would have just gone over to the tabel and politly mentioned what was going on (just incase they didnt see it) yea right lol. i have never had this happen but we are going with a very large group in oct and i will definatly keep in mind to let the kids know NOT do hog the charcters!

 

[chobie]

I think all the characters have cm guides with them don't they? They are the ones who should be keeping things in control, but the characters should not acknowledge those kids IMO. WDW should have a memo or something everyone gets when they are seated at a character meal which explains that the characters will come to the tables.

We had a similar experience at CP My kids waited an hour for Pooh to come by our table and when he finally did, two boys ran up to our table and thrust their autograph books at him yelling "Yo, Winnie Da Pooh, sign dese here books". My kids were a bit perturbed, but we have had many laughs about it since. It did bother me, though, that Pooh signed their books at that moment. Of course to be fair it might be difficult in one of those costumes to deipher who belonged at a cerain table and who did not.

 

[nwdisgal]

I'm more surprised at the characters than the rude behavior by the parents

That was my initial thought too, but then a lot of the characters are just kids themselves - college aged. Still the "character trainer" or whatever they call the person that coaches characters on how to interact should equip them for this type of scenerio.

The parents though... want to throttle them - asleep at the switch, clueless or just plain rude.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Sorry to hear about your experience, but it looks like you did a good job in teaching your ds some proper behavior. Also at least some of the characters knew what to do. I have encountered this several times. Once was actually a group of tourists who acted like they didnt understand english. They finally got a cm to tell them in their language to sit and wait their turns etc. The adults with them were of no help and these were all teen girls, gheesh. At Chef Mickeys I have glared at parents who let their kids come over and invade our character time, I just politely say to the kids, you have to go and sit at your own table and wait your turn etc. Crystal Palace seems to be more on top of things lately. Last time I did tell the server to go get a character so we could get out of there. She responded promptly because a new family in means more tips for her etc. I have always taught my kids manner and politeness etc. I feel like I only have so much time scheduled for a meal etc. so I am getting straight to the point if kids are invading our character time and territory (our table). I think the worst is the videotaping, some parents make it like its a major production. Maybe the cm's should get a stop watch. I think the kids who should get the most time is any make a wish kid.

 

[wendy1974]

Sounds like you were definitely the better person and will teach your child better manners and better values, good job

I probably would have found the waiter and politely explained the situation. You pay extra for those character meals and part of that is for the character interaction with you or your child so you deserve the same amount of time as everyone else in the restaraunt. Unfortunately, as everyone else has pointed out the problem is with those parents that allow their children to be rude. Whether it be at a character meal, in line for a ride or on the WDW transportation to and from the parks. I think we have all experienced it at some time or another and they are teaching their children to grow up and be rude adults.

 

[dreams4disney]

It is not just the kids. When we went to Donalds for Breakfest at AK on our last trip we had been seated by a large family. By the way we are a large family too. The mom was the loud and rude one. The Characters came around to there table then over to ours and then on. The mom came back to the table seen that the Characters had already came through and went to the table that they were at and asked Donald if he signed her Childrens books. He put his finger up as if for her to wait and she kept asking him and then went got the books and went back to that table with the childrens book. The Characters tried to be nice but a cm had to tell her to go back to her table that they wouldl be back around. She was livid at the CM. I could not believe my eyes when she steped between a child and Donald at that childs table when the Characters had been trying to interact. She was so worried about getting that signature that I felt sorry for the family that they was not enjoying their breakfest with their mother.

 

[glencoe]

forget the waiter i would have said something to the adults at the tabel. when i comes to my kids i get a little crazy. i would not have been rude but i would have just gone over to the tabel and politly mentioned what was going on (just incase they didnt see it) yea right lol. i have never had this happen but we are going with a very large group in oct and i will definatly keep in mind to let the kids know NOT do hog the charcters!

I have noticed that the most of the time the parents know exactly what is going on, but it is much easier to let the kids do as they please than properly discipline them! Those are also the same parents that let there kids cut the line (and them too) and pretend they did not notice the people they are stepping in front of!! Those are also the parents to stay away from, I don't need my children seeing rude adults trying to start a fight with us. Let the wait staff or CM's take care of it, it is their job.

Anyway those of us who do the right thing by showing our children proper manners will always be on the right side of the fence and I always hope my kids will be noticed for proper manners, but unfortunatly the rude ones always seem to get what they want and have no repurcusions!
Enjoy.....we are leaving so soon, we can't wait!!

 

[SuBeat]

I have noticed that the most of the time the parents know exactly what is going on, but it is much easier to let the kids do as they please than properly discipline them! Those are also the same parents that let there kids cut the line (and them too) and pretend they did not notice the people they are stepping in front of!! Those are also the parents to stay away from, I don't need my children seeing rude adults trying to start a fight with us. Let the wait staff or CM's take care of it, it is their job.

ITA! Let the CM take care of it, you have no idea what can of worms you may be opening by confronting the parents. Odds are they are aware of what their children are doing and either don't care or have actually encouraged it. BTW we have had similar experiences at character meals, but the characters were quite good at politely discouraging the unruly kids and directing them back to their tables. Didn't stop the kids from trying again though!

 

[mom2threeboys]

I'm so sorry you had an experience like that!
When we ate at Cp we noted that the characters were followed around as well, and many of them would interact with the kids - as if rewarding their bad behavior. Other places, however, I saw the chacters point the child back to their seat, or a Cm step in and tell the child to wait their turn.

I think in that situation, I would have addressed the handler, or the wait staff. We found them to be very understanding, and they also have the ability to make suggestions to the character!

 

[lyeag]

Sorry that happened to you. It is hard to teach kids to wait their turn when others aren't. It is also hard to watch your child be disappointed I guess the only diplomatic thing to do would have been to talk to your server. God Bless whoever was in the Minnie costume.

 

[jenjersnap]

You know, thinking about it now I never saw a handler at LTT at all! We were in one of the smallish rooms sort of up the steps on your right as you come in and I wonder if they hung outside because it was so crowded? I did see handlers with Tigger and Piglet - who was parked near the food - at CP, but the situation wasn't quite as obnoxious and we had that meal first.

I want to add that we've now eaten twice at CP and once each at CM, LTT, GG, CRT, and PSB. These were our only bad experiences. All in all, not a bad percentage.

Thank you everyone for the thoughtful responses. I will talk to a waiter or handler if it happens again, for sure, with a sense of validation from the DIS board! LOL!

 

[nwdisgal]

I take it as a great compliment when people tell me, "Hey, your kids are really well behaved" or "your kids are so polite." It takes a lot of time and effort to teach kids manners, but it is so worth it, and they grow up making the world at large a better place. Also, we live in a small town, and people around here are very polite. Basically, if you tick someone off, it's very likely you'll run into that person again at the store or the gas station, or someplace else. People are generally pretty careful with their actions and words if they live here - part of it I think is just the accountability factor.

I agree with the poster that said rude parents raise rude children. This is true, and when they don't learn their manners at home, everyone else the schools, the activity associations, and society in general are the ones having to deal with it.

People get so stressed about about the stupidest things. Was the woman's world really coming to end because she didn't get Donald's signature for her kid? I don't think so. That type of person has just lost all sensibility and perspective.

 

[crisi]

Years ago we had a character breakfast where I realized almost done with our meal that we'd forgotten to put film in the camera. I approached a character at another table. A CM quickly and politely came over and told me to "back off." I explained my problem, all characters made a return trip for photos.

The CMs should (and will) tell people to wait their turn and be patient, but they have to be aware it is happening....and unfortuantely, even then some of them need to be reminded to do their jobs. I'm sure dealing with unruly guests is the least pleasant part of their jobs and its only human to not really want to do it, but it is their job.

 

[bigbabyblues]

When we were at Chef Mickey's last fall, we had waited awhie to see Minnie, and when she was coming towards our table, a lady walked up with her little girl and tried to get Minnie to stop and visit with them, and Minnie just kind of ignored her, and went on around the room. The lady followed her to several tables and Minnie never did really pay attention to the, a server suggested they go back to their table and wait for her, but the lady said they didn't want to wait, there was no reason Minnie could visit them in front of the next table, but she didn't. The little girl was maybe 2 or so.