What would you do? Another school teacher related problem.

[stitchlovestink]

My DS is going to 5th grade. Last May I sent in a letter requesting he not get a certain teacher. (Requests are aloud) Lo and behold, guess who he gets.

When I emailed the principal , he said he never got the letter. I said, fine transfer him now. Told him why I didn't want my son in there. Plus problems we had with his math teacher last year and I didn't want to deal with it again/. Our principal is one to ignore and hope parents forget.

After one week of prodding, I had a phone conversation with him Wednesday , and said he would try and move my son. yep you guessed it, today I get an email from the guidance counselor, after she checked all the rosters, DS can't be moved.

I say bull. What about new kids who come to the district. There is always cushion. Ok so now he is in this teachers class I requested he not be in. They start school Monday. I want to write something back to the effect, I am disappointed my son couldn't be moved yada yada and if there is a problem with his teacher this year, I will be requesting meetings ASAP. My friends told me I should send it to the principal , vice principal, guidance counselor and include the superintendent. Whats your guys opinions?

This teacher is very nasty. Degrades students in front of the class, yells constantly and just not a good relayor of info for the kids to learn. My sons friend struggled last year, as well as other kids he knows. Parents have complained. Nothing is ever done. Suggestions?

bolding is mine...
Do you know this from first hand accounts? I KNEW who the BAD teachers in our elem school were because I volunteered there. I knew who the screamers were because I heard them w/ my own ears. I knew who the nasty ones were because I witnessed their nastiness towards their students in the hallways, open areas, and sometimes even the library. When I would request, it would always be for my DD not to have so n so. I would put in my letter and if you would like me to discuss specific reasons and events that I witnessed, I will be happy to share them w/ you (the principal) and your boss (superintendent) too. That usually did the job quite well. BUT, I was speaking from experiences that I saw/heard w/ my own eyes/ears and administration knew I was 'right'.

Teacher requests aren't really allowed here, but many do it anyway. However, it's a request, one that might be denied. I think you would have a stronger case if you already had a child who had this teacher, and you had issues. I don't think they're going to jump through hoops because you heard the teacher was mean. Ds was in 5th last year, and they switched teachers for math, social studies, health, and science, so it really didn't matter who their teacher was.

I wouldn't go above the principal for this, because you really don't have a valid reason for your child not to have this teacher, since you don't have any personal experience with this teacher.

Respectfully, I disagree w/ this. That is why the principle has a boss and truthfully some principals are as bad as some of the teachers they employ.

Do you have a real education basis for wanting the switch or just hearsay and popularity? Our school started telling parents requests would not even be considered without true educational reasons after it became apparent it was only a popularity contest between the teachers and the "it" group of parents and students.

If you still plan on making a stink I would have my ducks in order as to why you need the switch and it should be soley based on educational reasons.

Respectfully, I disagree w/ this too. and I'm sure someone's going to chime in that they need to learn to get along w/ everybody. Well, you're talking about a 10 yo KID not an adult, not a teen, but a kid. They are spending A LOT of their waking hours w/ this person. And this person can make their life a living H@#$ if they want to (and being truthful, some do if the kid gets on their nerves). There are tons of GREAT teachers out there, but there are some rotten ones too who need to change careers. I say only you are going to advocate for your child to the best of your ability. Don't take NO for an answer.

I was in that situation once when my now 12yr old DS was entering Gr. 3. I didn't know the teacher he was assigned to was the former Gr. 6 teacher my older children had had. I walked him to school the first day, got him into the lineup where his name was posted on the sheet. Strange but this was also the only posting that DIDN'T have the teachers name on it. So we patiently waited for the teacher to show up. When another parent asked, OH, I think thats the teacher there, and pointed to a lady walking to the head of the line, and I freaked (silently). NO WAY! My experience with her for two years was enough and never again. I quietly told the other parent standing with me, "sorry, we have to go see the principal, my son is NOT in this class". There was a new principal that year, so it was under these circumstances that I met her for the first time! I was directed into her office with my son. I told her I need DS to be transferred to the other Gr. 3 classroom. Principal told me that thats difficult to do at this point, and asked why I needed him moved. I explained our History with this teacher and ended by stating I was SO opposed to him having her, that if he wasn't moved, I will pull him out of school and homeschool him for that year. He was moved to the other classroom. (I was serious about the homeschooling thing too, if I had to do it!)
Things went very well after that, it was a very peaceful year!

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!


Be that administrator's pain in the butt. I'd make it VERY CLEAR, that the first time there is a problem, it will be teacher against parents as you will not align yourself w/ a teacher who chooses to run their classroom this way. And truthfully, most of my teacher friends really don't want a child in their class that the parents adamantly don't want them to have. They know it is just going to be problem after problem.

One time in 4th grade my DD got the 'awful' teacher. I finally said enough. I had a meeting w/ him and principal. I called him on every bad choice he made 1) allowing students to call each other inappropriate names, some even incl swear words 2) allowing students to laugh at one another or make fun of one another 3) allowing other students to laugh at poor/wrong answers given by classmates 4) laughing himself at poor/wrong answers 5) calling students by inappropriate nicknames Example, he called one boy Pigpen (from Peanuts comic strip) he even referred to him by that name to the mom. Mom introduced herself to teacher at back to school night, and teacher says back to mom "Oh, so you're Pigpen's mom. I call him that because it seems like where ever he goes there's a cloud of dirt around him." Poor mother was mortified as there were a few other of us parents standing in line waiting to introduce ourselves. Oh here's another beauty, if he thought a student's desk was too messy, he would FLIP IT UPSIDE DOWN AND DUMP THE CONTENTS ON THE FLOOR. Then he would KICK the belongings under the desk and tell the child to 'CLEAN IT UP!'
Now anyone who wants to flame me go ahead. I have my flame suit on, but there are SUCKY teachers out there. We have witnessed them. Oh and BTW, this was a teacher at what was one of the most desirable elem schools (of about 30, our test scores were always highest or second place) in our entire county.
Don't even let me get started about the Biology teacher that older DD had in High school who was sleeping w/ one girl (for sure) and supposedly messing around w/ several others via partying w/ them and 'sexting'. Or her 11th grade science teacher who got angry w/ one of her classes and called them all a bunch of F@%*ing retards. She also called one girl a Dumb A#@ to her face in front of the rest of the class.
I will admit you could never pay me enough to be a teacher, but there are too many bad apples in the teaching barrel for my liking. Okay, flame away!

OP, good luck, don't back down, and I wish you the best for your son!!

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

Can you arrange to sit in on your son's class a few times? Then you'll be able to present a first-hand case to the principal if needed, or you'll have reassured yourself that there isn't a problem.

I'm sorry, but my DS has told me many times (and I remember from being in school myself) teachers act different when parents are around.

OP---don't back down. This is your child's school year. A year can make/break a child love/hate for school. I would go to school early (at LEAST at hour before it starts) Monday morning w/your DS and wait to talk to the principal. Emailing isn't going to get your point across. If you have a copy of the letter/e-mail that you sent that year that was "lost", I'd bring that too. It's the first day of school. He/She will be there early to get things started.

Don't let DS start in the class you don't want him in, that would be embarrassing for him to be switched later.

 

[princessmom29]

I am sorry, this is probably going to make someone mad, but i have to say it. The OP here has NO hard evidence that this teacher has done anything wrong. What a child comes home and says about a teacher has been colored by sooo many things by the time it gets home. Did any of the parents you are hearing all of this from actually take it to the teacher to see if she actually said X or Y?? I think the best course of action is to see how it goes, but be prepared to call the teacher on it immediately if and when a problem occurs. If you don't like something she is doing tell her. If that doesn't help tell the principal. If it continues after that go above his/her head. Until there is an actual problem between the teacher and your child the superentendant/ school board is not going to do anything for you. I am assuming that this is a public school, and if that is the case placement in classes according to NCLB is supposed to be random. You are not allowed to track any particular student. I realize thastschools do it without documenting it, but if it goes to the super./school board it is not going to get anywhere when there is not actualy documented problem.

 

[princessmom29]

bolding is mine...
Do you know this from first hand accounts? I KNEW who the BAD teachers in our elem school were because I volunteered there. I knew who the screamers were because I heard them w/ my own ears. I knew who the nasty ones were because I witnessed their nastiness towards their students in the hallways, open areas, and sometimes even the library. When I would request, it would always be for my DD not to have so n so. I would put in my letter and if you would like me to discuss specific reasons and events that I witnessed, I will be happy to share them w/ you (the principal) and your boss (superintendent) too. That usually did the job quite well. BUT, I was speaking from experiences that I saw/heard w/ my own eyes/ears and administration knew I was 'right'.

Respectfully, I disagree w/ this. That is why the principle has a boss and truthfully some principals are as bad as some of the teachers they employ.


Respectfully, I disagree w/ this too. and I'm sure someone's going to chime in that they need to learn to get along w/ everybody. Well, you're talking about a 10 yo KID not an adult, not a teen, but a kid. They are spending A LOT of their waking hours w/ this person. And this person can make their life a living H@#$ if they want to (and being truthful, some do if the kid gets on their nerves). There are tons of GREAT teachers out there, but there are some rotten ones too who need to change careers. I say only you are going to advocate for your child to the best of your ability. Don't take NO for an answer.


GOOD FOR YOU!!!!


Be that administrator's pain in the butt. I'd make it VERY CLEAR, that the first time there is a problem, it will be teacher against parents as you will not align yourself w/ a teacher who chooses to run their classroom this way. And truthfully, most of my teacher friends really don't want a child in their class that the parents adamantly don't want them to have. They know it is just going to be problem after problem.

One time in 4th grade my DD got the 'awful' teacher. I finally said enough. I had a meeting w/ him and principal. I called him on every bad choice he made 1) allowing students to call each other inappropriate names, some even incl swear words 2) allowing students to laugh at one another or make fun of one another 3) allowing other students to laugh at poor/wrong answers given by classmates 4) laughing himself at poor/wrong answers 5) calling students by inappropriate nicknames Example, he called one boy Pigpen (from Peanuts comic strip) he even referred to him by that name to the mom. Mom introduced herself to teacher at back to school night, and teacher says back to mom "Oh, so you're Pigpen's mom. I call him that because it seems like where ever he goes there's a cloud of dirt around him." Poor mother was mortified as there were a few other of us parents standing in line waiting to introduce ourselves. Oh here's another beauty, if he thought a student's desk was too messy, he would FLIP IT UPSIDE DOWN AND DUMP THE CONTENTS ON THE FLOOR. Then he would KICK the belongings under the desk and tell the child to 'CLEAN IT UP!'
Now anyone who wants to flame me go ahead. I have my flame suit on, but there are SUCKY teachers out there. We have witnessed them. Oh and BTW, this was a teacher at what was one of the most desirable elem schools (of about 30, our test scores were always highest or second place) in our entire county.
Don't even let me get started about the Biology teacher that older DD had in High school who was sleeping w/ one girl (for sure) and supposedly messing around w/ several others via partying w/ them and 'sexting'. Or her 11th grade science teacher who got angry w/ one of her classes and called them all a bunch of F@%*ing retards. She also called one girl a Dumb A#@ to her face in front of the rest of the class.
I will admit you could never pay me enough to be a teacher, but there are too many bad apples in the teaching barrel for my liking. Okay, flame away!

OP, good luck, don't back down, and I wish you the best for your son!!

I am truly sorry that you have apparently had more than your share of truly awful teachers. They are out there and I really, realy dislike them b/c they make those of us who are just trying to do the best for your kids look bad, and because they are why some parents tend to always be ready to jump to the worst possible conclusion any time there is even a hint of a problem. I have seen so many parents over the years in parnet conferences who are on the defensive and ready to jump on me with both feet before even knowing why i wanted to speak with them. It is really sad. Most of the time I am attemmpting to make sure they are aware their student is struggling and get their imput what they feel needs to be done to fix it. I guess what i am trying to say is don't be too quick to tar and feather all teachers with same brush you used on the bad ones.

 

[carmiedog]

I agree with the "wait and see" approach since from what I understand, all you have is hearsay. I have witnessed a tremendous teacher's year be ruined from hearsay started by 1 student. There were issues with this student/parent, but the principal wasn't allowed to discuss it with the other parents because of privacy issues. Very unfair situation.

I'm certain there are poor teachers out there. And even good teachers that don't mesh well every child. But please don't make fuss unless you facts.

My children come home from their babysitter in the summer and tell me they're hungry because the sitter didn't give them anything to eat all day. They would swear on this. But the real story is that the sitter makes them food - just not the things they WANT. Just sayin'.

 

[stitchlovestink]

I am sorry, this is probably going to make someone mad, but i have to say it. The OP here has NO hard evidence that this teacher has done anything wrong. What a child comes home and says about a teacher has been colored by sooo many things by the time it gets home. Did any of the parents you are hearing all of this from actually take it to the teacher to see if she actually said X or Y?? I think the best course of action is to see how it goes, but be prepared to call the teacher on it immediately if and when a problem occurs. If you don't like something she is doing tell her. If that doesn't help tell the principal. If it continues after that go above his/her head. Until there is an actual problem between the teacher and your child the superentendant/ school board is not going to do anything for you. I am assuming that this is a public school, and if that is the case placement in classes according to NCLB is supposed to be random. You are not allowed to track any particular student. I realize thastschools do it without documenting it, but if it goes to the super./school board it is not going to get anywhere when there is not actualy documented problem.

Okay, don't want to argue here, but if the teacher did say the wrong thing do you REALLY think that most (not all) teachers are going to fess up that easy? Esp if it's routine for them to act that way, they are going to claim it was taken out of context. Little Johnny or Suzy didn't understand at all what I was trying to express to them. Now good quality teachers would 'fess up' and apologize for their lack of good judgement to which I would extend grace and forgiveness because we are all human. But the point is a quality teacher would do their best to keep it from happening again. The terrible teachers are well in fact, repeat offenders.
I did approach a teacher once about a situation that REALLY REALLY bothered me. I thought and thought about it and decided that I could not just let it go. I approached them in the absence of my child, and they did in fact admit to handling the situation very poorly. They offered up a sincere apology and asked that I let them know if I ever had any other issues with them. Well, pleasantly enough, I didn't. I really feel like I forgave them, because I remember who the teacher was, but don't remember what they did. I felt like they did everything they could to fix it and at that point, I let it go. I remember they even apologized to DD and I know that really left a positive impression on her, because the 'adult' admitted that they made a mistake and asked for forgiveness, which DD extended and developed even more respect for this person.

I am truly sorry that you have apparently had more than your share of truly awful teachers. They are out there and I really, realy dislike them b/c they make those of us who are just trying to do the best for your kids look bad, and because they are why some parents tend to always be ready to jump to the worst possible conclusion any time there is even a hint of a problem. I have seen so many parents over the years in parnet conferences who are on the defensive and ready to jump on me with both feet before even knowing why i wanted to speak with them. It is really sad. Most of the time I am attemmpting to make sure they are aware their student is struggling and get their imput what they feel needs to be done to fix it. I guess what i am trying to say is don't be too quick to tar and feather all teachers with same brush you used on the bad ones.

There are tons of GREAT teachers out there, but there are some rotten ones too who need to change careers. I say only you are going to advocate for your child to the best of your ability.

As I previously stated there are some great teachers.
Yes, We have had some yucky ones. But we have had some AWESOME ones too. And truly the awesome ones outweigh the yucky ones. I just get frustrated that the yucky ones can continue to provide a substandard education to children and not have any consequences. That just drives me insane. I believe wholeheartedly that being a teacher takes a special person with a calling because that type of job needs to be more to that person than 'just a paycheck'. They are influencing how a child will feel about learning and even themselves. They spend a tremendous amount of time with these kids and they need to convey to these kids that they really do care about them and not that the kids are a burden or pain.
I have written many a letter to a teacher telling them how much I appreciate their investment in my child and citing their strengths and qualities as a teacher. I also give really nice end of year teacher gifts too. (that way it can't be perceived as bribery since my child is finished in their class )

 

[mickeyluvr004]

Hi my DD had a similair issue 2 years ago but she was being tormented by this teacher. My husband and I had several meetings with her and the Principal and the abuse kept going on.. My dd would come home crying off the bus and I had to contact an attorney friend and he said go see your Pediatrician and have your dd tell him what is going on in class... I did and he wrote a letter to the Principal for her to move my dd immediatly and my attorney friend said if your doctor writes a letter stating certain things they have to remove her from this and he wrote about this teacher degrading her caused emotional problems and they moved her.. That was the best moment that year after that she loved school again.. Good luck and definetly try the Pediatrician it may help..

 

[princessmom29]

Okay, don't want to argue here, but if the teacher did say the wrong thing do you REALLY think that most (not all) teachers are going to fess up that easy? Esp if it's routine for them to act that way, they are going to claim it was taken out of context. Little Johnny or Suzy didn't understand at all what I was trying to express to them. Now good quality teachers would 'fess up' and apologize for their lack of good judgement to which I would extend grace and forgiveness because we are all human. But the point is a quality teacher would do their best to keep it from happening again. The terrible teachers are well in fact, repeat offenders.
I did approach a teacher once about a situation that REALLY REALLY bothered me. I thought and thought about it and decided that I could not just let it go. I approached them in the absence of my child, and they did in fact admit to handling the situation very poorly. They offered up a sincere apology and asked that I let them know if I ever had any other issues with them. Well, pleasantly enough, I didn't. I really feel like I forgave them, because I remember who the teacher was, but don't remember what they did. I felt like they did everything they could to fix it and at that point, I let it go. I remember they even apologized to DD and I know that really left a positive impression on her, because the 'adult' admitted that they made a mistake and asked for forgiveness, which DD extended and developed even more respect for this person.


As I previously stated there are some great teachers.
Yes, We have had some yucky ones. But we have had some AWESOME ones too. And truly the awesome ones outweigh the yucky ones. I just get frustrated that the yucky ones can continue to provide a substandard education to children and not have any consequences. That just drives me insane. I believe wholeheartedly that being a teacher takes a special person with a calling because that type of job needs to be more to that person than 'just a paycheck'. They are influencing how a child will feel about learning and even themselves. They spend a tremendous amount of time with these kids and they need to convey to these kids that they really do care about them and not that the kids are a burden or pain.
I have written many a letter to a teacher telling them how much I appreciate their investment in my child and citing their strengths and qualities as a teacher. I also give really nice end of year teacher gifts too. (that way it can't be perceived as bribery since my child is finished in their class )

You are right, a bad teacher is probably not going to admit to donig/saying something wrong, but if enough parents document enough complaints that they tried to get resolved with said teacher and got nowhere on he/she will eventually have to own up to them or get ousted anyway. It is really the only hope of getting rid of someone with tenure who shouldn't be teaching. I am so glad you feel that way about the good teachers, and believe me we really enjoy hearing those kinds of things from a parent. It makes me feel like I am making a difference for some one when a parent of student says thanks! I think my comment there at the end was really more retorical than directed at you specifically, sorry that wasn't clear!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Well since school starts on Monday as I stated I guess I have no choice but for my son to start school in this teachers class.

I wrote another email this morning to the principal, vice principal, both guidance counselors and the school district superintendent. It explained how unhappy I was with the decision of not to move my son. My son will be documenting as well as I any inapproprate behavior . And I will watch for behavior and grade changes in my son. There was more but you get the idea.

My son and I talked in length about writng down anything this teacher says to him inappropriate or out of line. And to inform me immediately of any situation he is not comfortable with. If I have to I'll call meetings with the principal everyday . I will not let this teacher take my son down.

A good friend of mine's son had this teacher 2 years ago and she is the one who first warned me of her. So yes I do know first hand. She complained and had meeting with the principal as well as other parents and nothing was ever done about this teacher.

It makes me sick to know that he has her. But right now we'll just wait and see and hope for the best.

And to the poster who told me not to send my son to this school: Where should I put him? He just came from the Catholic school 2 years ago because of limited resources within the school . I will not homeschool. Our district is one of the best in PA. It stinks when a couple teachers can ruin a good reputation as well as a principal who likes to sweep things and just hope they go away.

The letter I received from the guidance counselor as well as the one I wrote today I forwarded to my friend who is a guidance couselor in another district to get another opinion. She told me the letter the counselor sent me was a little condescending and a type of stock letter with wording most guidance counselors use. And the letter i sent was direct and to the point. She said you can definetly tell I am extremely upset and I am not going to let this go. She said don't worry they will be watching this situation closely.

We'll see.

 

[Hannathy]

Unfortunately if your teachers are unionized there is very little for the principal to do. He/she probably can't fire her if they wanted to. Once they have a certain amount of time into the district it is virtually impossible to get rid of them. The best they can do around here is try to get them into a job away from the kids.

 

[Spoonful of Sugar]

I think that's a great idea to keep track of anything inappropriate that is said or done. It's just too bad that it's come down to that. Even though you didn't get your son out of the class, at least you can perhaps have a hand in stopping the teacher's bad behaviour (assuming it really is that bad) so other children aren't subjected to it. I remember a 5th grade teacher when I was in elementary school who continually called kids stupid and other names, and was finally fired after taking a training bra from a female student's bag and waving it around in front of the class. Also, my brother's kindergarten teacher made fun of him for putting on a necklace at the dress-up station. I think teachers deserve way more respect than many parents give them, but there are some real bad apples out there. Lets just hope this one had a bad year and has since shaped up.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I just want to say, I am not bashing teachers. Believe me, you teachers have a job I would never want.

My son has had some great teachers. He had a particularly good one in 3rd grade. He was hired as a temporary sub. During the school year, all the parents wrote letters to the principal and superintendent to please hire this teacher. We loved him as well as the students. Did they hire him? No! They waited too long and he got a job offer from another district.

Just gets my goat that they let teachers like my sons 3rd grade teacher walk and keep ones who should have retired long ago like his 5th grade teacher. I realize about the union and not being able to get rid of her because of tenure and all, but thats something that upset me also. But thats a whole other thread.