What would you do? Another school teacher related problem.

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DS is going to 5th grade. Last May I sent in a letter requesting he not get a certain teacher. (Requests are aloud) Lo and behold, guess who he gets.

When I emailed the principal , he said he never got the letter. I said, fine transfer him now. Told him why I didn't want my son in there. Plus problems we had with his math teacher last year and I didn't want to deal with it again/. Our principal is one to ignore and hope parents forget.

After one week of prodding, I had a phone conversation with him Wednesday , and said he would try and move my son. yep you guessed it, today I get an email from the guidance counselor, after she checked all the rosters, DS can't be moved.

I say bull. What about new kids who come to the district. There is always cushion. Ok so now he is in this teachers class I requested he not be in. They start school Monday. I want to write something back to the effect, I am disappointed my son couldn't be moved yada yada and if there is a problem with his teacher this year, I will be requesting meetings ASAP. My friends told me I should send it to the principal , vice principal, guidance counselor and include the superintendent. Whats your guys opinions?

This teacher is very nasty. Degrades students in front of the class, yells constantly and just not a good relayor of info for the kids to learn. My sons friend struggled last year, as well as other kids he knows. Parents have complained. Nothing is ever done. Suggestions?

 

[Tammysue5]

I have a 5th grader so I feel for you.

I am hoping your situation is like ours last year. Daughter ended up w/the 1 teacher she had heard horrible things about. Of course all her friends ended up w/the female teacher SHE wanted. (There were 4other teachers) When we heard she had gotten this teacher we talked. (our family) we had ALWAYS been lucky and gotten the best of teachers. (With 4 kids) So, DDsaid Ok lets see how it goes. (I assured her I would step in if there were concerns...as she does not complain) Well, the teacher shared w/us the first day of school last year that he is seen as a mean teacher and he knows that. He was honest and said mainly it was a group of little boys who had no respect for the teacher. (of course being the male teacher he ended up w/a large percentage of students who do not behave) Emmy left that day thinking her teacher was gonna be ok. As the weeks went on..she came to see him as one of the politest teachers...she LOVED HIM! They both had a fondness for Shakespere and the Civil War Era... (Lincoln) While it was hard not being in class w/o her friends she excelled in his class.

Of course what you hear may not be far from the truth in your case... so I would suggest listening to your child and ask about his days, keep right on top... as a poor teacher can literally ruin the school year.

 

[luvmyhubby]

I would give it a few weeks and see how your son adapts to her. You never know until your child actually gets in there. If he begins to have problems, then set up a conference with the teacher and principal. If that doesn't help then begin to go through the chain of command. If you don't show that you have gone through the chain of command, most of the time the superintendent will have you meet with the teacher and principal first to try and clear up any problems. I hope your situation works out for the best!

 

[princessmom29]

This is what i was going to say. You will never know until you give the teacher a chance if the kids who say "what a mean teacher" truly had a mean teacher or one who insisted on respect and set a high academic standard that they didn't want to work to achieve.

 

[mjkacmom]

Teacher requests aren't really allowed here, but many do it anyway. However, it's a request, one that might be denied. I think you would have a stronger case if you already had a child who had this teacher, and you had issues. I don't think they're going to jump through hoops because you heard the teacher was mean. Ds was in 5th last year, and they switched teachers for math, social studies, health, and science, so it really didn't matter who their teacher was.

I wouldn't go above the principal for this, because you really don't have a valid reason for your child not to have this teacher, since you don't have any personal experience with this teacher.

 

[CleoPahd]

At the end of the 5th grade my daughter hoped and prayed she would not get a certain teacher for the 6th grade. We had heard all kinds of stories about how mean she was and how difficult she could be. You guessed it, my daughter was assigned to her for the 6th grade. Funny thing was, she ended up being my daughter's favorite teacher! Every kid is different, so you can't always go by what you hear. However, if you do end up having a problem, you have to advocate for your child. I'm not a "teacher", but I work in a school and there are teachers that just don't work out with some students. If you give the teacher a fair chance and it's just not working out, go to the superintendent if you get nowhere with the principal. People do it all the time.

 

[notsosnowwhite]

My suggestion is to try to meet with the principal face to face rather than discuss this over e-mail. I think issues are less likely to be brushed off this way and may get your child the best results. Good luck!

 

[Hannathy]

Do you have a real education basis for wanting the switch or just hearsay and popularity? Our school started telling parents requests would not even be considered without true educational reasons after it became apparent it was only a popularity contest between the teachers and the "it" group of parents and students.

If you still plan on making a stink I would have my ducks in order as to why you need the switch and it should be soley based on educational reasons.

 

[stace1214]

I would have to agree with the other posters who have said to give it a few weeks and see what happens. Although you may have heard from other parents that this teacher is mean and degrading, you really need to wait to see how your son does in the class. Is she really mean or just holds her students to a higher standard? Speaking from a teacher point of view, I would hate for a parent to judge me before his/her child even stepped foot in my classroom. Of course, if it doesn't work out, I would not hesitate to speak to the principal and go right on up the chain of command if needed. But please, what ever you do, don't bad mouth the teacher in front of your son. Kids are quick to talk to others about what their parents say and if your child ends up being the class all year, you don't want word getting back to her and it becoming an uncomfortable situation. Good luck~I hope everything works out for your son!

 

[abcboys]

I would give it a few weeks or so and see how your DS does with this teacher. Make sure you keep a positive attitude about his teacher or DS will pick up on that. I also have a 5th grader and a relative with a son the same age as mine. She is so critical of a lot of teachers it drives me crazy. She did not like the 1st grade teacher as she was too particular about stuff. In 2nd grade she had "heard" bad things about their teacher and my DS ended up loving him. She actually wanted me to go with her and request they both be moved blah blah blah but I wasnt' going to do that b/c that is the teacher my DS had wanted (only man teacher out of 6 2nd teachers) Move on to 3rd grade and I hear bad things about his teacher again. This time they are in different classes and my son's teacher is wonderful. 4th grade she sent in a request not to have a certain teacher b/c she "heard" bad things about her. Well my DS ended up having that same teacher and we had no problems with her at all. Now in 5th grade only 2 weeks into school and she was complaining just after school today about one of their teacher marking his grade on a paper lower for a stupid reason. This is their only child and they baby him too much.

Now I'm not saying you are anything like that or even that the teacher will turn out to be a good teacher but give it a chance, go in with a positive attitude and things may turn out okay.

 

[DISNEYNV]

I feel for you in this situation! Unfortunately once the teacher has been in the school for so long it's hard to get them out...no matter how nasty they can be! As far as requests go I hear you! I requested my DD be put in PM Kindergarden this Fall and she got AM! I was not happy, but knew it would be a failed attempt to try to switch her. I wish I had money for a good private school sometimes. Oh well. Best of luck to you and your son this year.

 

[tjbaggott]

I was in that situation once when my now 12yr old DS was entering Gr. 3. I didn't know the teacher he was assigned to was the former Gr. 6 teacher my older children had had. I walked him to school the first day, got him into the lineup where his name was posted on the sheet. Strange but this was also the only posting that DIDN'T have the teachers name on it. So we patiently waited for the teacher to show up. When another parent asked, OH, I think thats the teacher there, and pointed to a lady walking to the head of the line, and I freaked (silently). NO WAY! My experience with her for two years was enough and never again. I quietly told the other parent standing with me, "sorry, we have to go see the principal, my son is NOT in this class". There was a new principal that year, so it was under these circumstances that I met her for the first time! I was directed into her office with my son. I told her I need DS to be transferred to the other Gr. 3 classroom. Principal told me that thats difficult to do at this point, and asked why I needed him moved. I explained our History with this teacher and ended by stating I was SO opposed to him having her, that if he wasn't moved, I will pull him out of school and homeschool him for that year. He was moved to the other classroom. (I was serious about the homeschooling thing too, if I had to do it!)
Things went very well after that, it was a very peaceful year!

 

[momof3+twins]

I was in that situation once when my now 12yr old DS was entering Gr. 3. I didn't know the teacher he was assigned to was the former Gr. 6 teacher my older children had had. I walked him to school the first day, got him into the lineup where his name was posted on the sheet. Strange but this was also the only posting that DIDN'T have the teachers name on it. So we patiently waited for the teacher to show up. When another parent asked, OH, I think thats the teacher there, and pointed to a lady walking to the head of the line, and I freaked (silently). NO WAY! My experience with her for two years was enough and never again. I quietly told the other parent standing with me, "sorry, we have to go see the principal, my son is NOT in this class". There was a new principal that year, so it was under these circumstances that I met her for the first time! I was directed into her office with my son. I told her I need DS to be transferred to the other Gr. 3 classroom. Principal told me that thats difficult to do at this point, and asked why I needed him moved. I explained our History with this teacher and ended by stating I was SO opposed to him having her, that if he wasn't moved, I will pull him out of school and homeschool him for that year. He was moved to the other classroom. (I was serious about the homeschooling thing too, if I had to do it!)
Things went very well after that, it was a very peaceful year!

I homeschool..and good for you. As a homeschool parent, I feel for all of you that have to deal with these things. Your kids deserve more...so YES stand up for them. I had some rotten teachers at a young age and it made me hate school. Learning should be fun, and the teacher should LOVE what they do!!!!!! I have had to stand up for my son with speech therapy in the school district even though I homeschool. She was just mean and didn't teach him a thing. I took him out and have to pay for therapy but it is worth it!! Don't let anyone decide the outcome for your child's future. If this teacher gives your child a bad impression of school, that's it. They will no longer care or want to learn! GOOD LUCK!!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I understand what all of you are saying about giving it a chance. I guess at this point, I have no choice. He starts school Monday.

I don't care if she was a "hard" teacher or demanding or someone who requires more work than most. I don't baby my son and I expect him to do good. He is bright with all A's and 1 B with near perfect scores on his PSSA's. I heard first hand from a boy up the street and his parents how she yells constantly, degrades students infront of the class if she doesn't think the question the student asks warrents an answer from her and kids grades that go from A's B's to C's D's because of the attitude she puts out to her class.

I have a son who was excited to start school and is every year to someone moping around the house, worrying and dreading the first day because he knows first hand the reputation this teacher has. How she could still be around is beyond me.

The return email I got from the guidance counselor is a letter to pacify me, you can tell by the wording and a hope that I will go away. This also makes me upset.

There is a difference between a demanding teacher and one who has a bad attitude and degrades students. A big difference as far as I'm concerned. And yes my son does deserve better.

I am going to write one more email with a cc to the superintendent and how I am not happy about the outcome even though I requested DS not be in this teachers class and tried for almost 2 weeks to have him switched. I will then sit back and hope for the best.

Maybe for my sons sake it will turn out OK if not I guess the principal will get to know me quite well.

 

[WantToGoNow]

Give it a chance. My 3rd grade son had a teacher like that last year - she was rough but he made it through - yes a couple of his grades dropped a bit. When the class listing was posted this year he was like oh no, so and so said she's so mean and yells all the time. We figured it would be another year like last. He came home from school the first day and said he had the best teacher in the whole school. Yesterday finished 2 weeks and I asked him what he thought of his teacher now - she's still the best teacher in the whole school. Now that's saying alot since he absolutely loved his 1st grade teacher.

 

[squirrlygirl]

Can you arrange to sit in on your son's class a few times? Then you'll be able to present a first-hand case to the principal if needed, or you'll have reassured yourself that there isn't a problem.

 

[mchames]

I understand what all of you are saying about giving it a chance. I guess at this point, I have no choice. He starts school Monday.

I don't care if she was a "hard" teacher or demanding or someone who requires more work than most. I don't baby my son and I expect him to do good. He is bright with all A's and 1 B with near perfect scores on his PSSA's. I heard first hand from a boy up the street and his parents how she yells constantly, degrades students infront of the class if she doesn't think the question the student asks warrents an answer from her and kids grades that go from A's B's to C's D's because of the attitude she puts out to her class.

I have a son who was excited to start school and is every year to someone moping around the house, worrying and dreading the first day because he knows first hand the reputation this teacher has. How she could still be around is beyond me.

The return email I got from the guidance counselor is a letter to pacify me, you can tell by the wording and a hope that I will go away. This also makes me upset.

There is a difference between a demanding teacher and one who has a bad attitude and degrades students. A big difference as far as I'm concerned. And yes my son does deserve better.

I am going to write one more email with a cc to the superintendent and how I am not happy about the outcome even though I requested DS not be in this teachers class and tried for almost 2 weeks to have him switched. I will then sit back and hope for the best.

Maybe for my sons sake it will turn out OK if not I guess the principal will get to know me quite well.

Unfortunately, if this is this teacher's reputation, I can guarantee that you were not the only parent to request that your child not be in this class. It is quite possible, that at this point, switching your son with another student will bring the wrath of another angry parent down upon the administration. It's a no win situation.

When my now 6th grader was in 3rd grade there were two teachers (out of eight) that everybody dreaded their child having. Just about every parent whose child was put in one of those two classes wanted a teacher switch. We had a new principal that year (who only lasted 2 months, but that's a whole other story ). She made the switches, all right. But do you know what she did? If your child had "Mean Teacher A" she got switched to "Mean Teacher B" and vice a versa. I can't tell you how angry parents were.

There's more to the story, but both teachers retired by the following school year... one of them forcibly.

I guess what I'm getting at is if the teacher is as bad as you say she is, there were probably way more requests than colud be accommodated and unfortunately you got the shaft. Good luck.

 

[disney_family_1247]

Don't send your son to this school. Any school that would allow the kind of behaviour in a teacher that you describe sounds horrible...on the other hand, how do you know that the teacher behaves that way? I was a teacher, and kids come up with the weirdest stuff. For example, there are many members of my family who are overweight. I have never in my entire life made a joke about a heavy person. Yet, I went into a conference with a mother and her daughter, and the mother complained to the principal that I called her daughter names because of her size! I was so shocked, I couldn't even think what to say to them. I had gone to the meeting thinking we were going to discuss her child throwing a pencil at me and storming out of the room because I would not agree with her that the New Orleans Superdome was designed and built to hold business conferences (I said that the main function was sporting events/concerts, but acknowledged that it does contain some meeting rooms). This mother wanted her child out of my class ASAP, and our school policy would not allow it. I would have given a lot to have that obnoxious child placed in another class.

 

[kacaju]

My personal policy is I do not request NOT to have a certain teacher unless one of my own children already had that teacher and feel it would not be a good match to another one of my children.
When my dd15 finished 5th grade I heard from many a 4th grade parent who had *heard* this teacher was mean, cranky and yelled a lot. This was all in the last few weeks of school and that poor teacher was 8 months pregnant on a second floor with no A/C.

 

[cassandrap83]

There are always going to be the teachers that no one wants to have. There are always teachers with bad reputations for being mean. But, what about the teachers who have reputations for being awesome, and the kids always get A's? They may just be getting A's b/c the teacher lets the students walk all over him/her & is entirely too easy... maybe that's why he/she is so "awesome"

Don't let your son be intimidated by this teacher. If he is a smart kid, and does what he's supposed to do, then there is no way he could get low grades. If he does, then it's time to have a conference.