I went to the mall today, I left home at about 2:30, there was traffic getting into the mall - no biggy. I went to the Willowbrook Mall and Wayne Town Center ( right accross from one another). I had to run into JC Penney for something, got it and then went into Fortunoff. I was done in 30 minutes. Then all he** broke loose. 
I got in my car and all of a sudden, there were cars everywhere! Comming out of this row, that row, the row over there and so on! Then the road that leads out of the mall and into the one accross the street ( the same road) was a parkinglot!!!! 30 minutes later I actually got OUT of the parking lot. I said to myself, no one is in the right lane, so I'll just make a right and drive around the outside of the mall to another exit....
- Well mr brains that I am..... It was an hour later, and I had moved MAYBE 500 feet, MAYBE. So I called Chris at work and he asks if I found an electric knife, HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT AN ELECTRIC KNIFE - So I thought to myself, well maybe I should just pull back into the mall find the nearest spot and go into Willowbrook, which is a much larger mall than the first one I went into. So that's what I did - 20 minutes after I hung up the phone, I found a space. You had to see the amount of cars all you could see were lights. And hear horns. ( by the way - WHY, if there is absolutely nowhere to go, does some jerk have to inch up on you and blow the horn, and scream his head off when there is literally NOWHERE to go??? - To that guy in the black Navigater &^$%#%#@$#!@~#$@#%!$#@!$#@!@#!!!...
Anyway - so I went into the mall and went to Macy*s, no electric knife. To Sears, No electric knife. Went to Lord & Taylor ( not that I thought there would be an electric knife) but they were having a good sale!!! Then off to Bloomingdale's, they had ONE electric knife, the only one was on display - the man would NOT sell me the knife!!!
He said that they do not keep the original boxes for the items on display. I let hin know that that was a stupid idea! And he should get it off the shelf before someone got hurt!
And so - 1 1/2 hours past and Tony had a terrible headache, what with fighting with the bloomingdale's sales person!So I decided that I should get something to eat, since I would NOT make it home in time for a decent meal. So after I ate, I walked around a little more then went outside, only to see things got WORSE. Now, there were cars, everywhere, and I mean everywhere!!! there went the Christmas Spirit, right out the window! So I thought, well I have things that I need to do at home, so I got in my car and sat there. Just sat there. I called Chris and he told me that they shut down ( wouldn't let anymore cars in) one mall near where I work and that all the malls in the area were crazy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Imagine that! So I sat in the car, and sat in the car, and 1 hour later, I exited the parking lot. YES it took 1 hour to get out of the parking lot. So I thought - maybe I would go the way I normally would. Well at least that was moving every five minutes, it took 55 minutes to get to the highway ( less than 1/4 of a mile away). 
Then I was home in ten minutes after that.
And so here I am with a nice glass of Pinot Grigio.
What was I thinking??????????
I got in my car and all of a sudden, there were cars everywhere! Comming out of this row, that row, the row over there and so on! Then the road that leads out of the mall and into the one accross the street ( the same road) was a parkinglot!!!! 30 minutes later I actually got OUT of the parking lot. I said to myself, no one is in the right lane, so I'll just make a right and drive around the outside of the mall to another exit.... - Well mr brains that I am..... It was an hour later, and I had moved MAYBE 500 feet, MAYBE. So I called Chris at work and he asks if I found an electric knife, HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT AN ELECTRIC KNIFE - So I thought to myself, well maybe I should just pull back into the mall find the nearest spot and go into Willowbrook, which is a much larger mall than the first one I went into. So that's what I did - 20 minutes after I hung up the phone, I found a space. You had to see the amount of cars all you could see were lights. And hear horns. ( by the way - WHY, if there is absolutely nowhere to go, does some jerk have to inch up on you and blow the horn, and scream his head off when there is literally NOWHERE to go??? - To that guy in the black Navigater &^$%#%#@$#!@~#$@#%!$#@!$#@!@#!!!... Anyway - so I went into the mall and went to Macy*s, no electric knife. To Sears, No electric knife. Went to Lord & Taylor ( not that I thought there would be an electric knife) but they were having a good sale!!! Then off to Bloomingdale's, they had ONE electric knife, the only one was on display - the man would NOT sell me the knife!!!
He said that they do not keep the original boxes for the items on display. I let hin know that that was a stupid idea! And he should get it off the shelf before someone got hurt! And so - 1 1/2 hours past and Tony had a terrible headache, what with fighting with the bloomingdale's sales person!So I decided that I should get something to eat, since I would NOT make it home in time for a decent meal. So after I ate, I walked around a little more then went outside, only to see things got WORSE. Now, there were cars, everywhere, and I mean everywhere!!! there went the Christmas Spirit, right out the window! So I thought, well I have things that I need to do at home, so I got in my car and sat there. Just sat there. I called Chris and he told me that they shut down ( wouldn't let anymore cars in) one mall near where I work and that all the malls in the area were crazy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Imagine that! So I sat in the car, and sat in the car, and 1 hour later, I exited the parking lot. YES it took 1 hour to get out of the parking lot. So I thought - maybe I would go the way I normally would. Well at least that was moving every five minutes, it took 55 minutes to get to the highway ( less than 1/4 of a mile away).
Then I was home in ten minutes after that. And so here I am with a nice glass of Pinot Grigio.
What was I thinking??????????
Turn the lights on the tree on, sit back, enjoy your wine and relax. 
Merry Christmas Buddy!
It will be a nice reminder to get out shopping EARLY!
