What to do with two arguing sisters

[Karel]

. I just want to make sure to be fair to all. !

Sometimes things aren't fair. Give up the concept of everything has to be fair right now because it'll just get harder if you don't.

Your older one has a right to a social life with her friend. It sounds like your younger one was looking for attention and was a bit jealous and tried to get her sister in trouble.

The general rule in our house is that if you are outside playing, everyone plays.

Your girls are going to have to find their own balance. The four year old is going to have to learn the hard lesson that big sister gets to play with her friend.

I would work hard to find some friends for the four year old so she can play with someone at your house without big sister too.

 

[momx2]

Sometimes things aren't fair. Give up the concept of everything has to be fair right now because it'll just get harder if you don't.

Your older one has a right to a social life with her friend. It sounds like your younger one was looking for attention and was a bit jealous and tried to get her sister in trouble.

The general rule in our house is that if you are outside playing, everyone plays.

Your girls are going to have to find their own balance. The four year old is going to have to learn the hard lesson that big sister gets to play with her friend.

I would work hard to find some friends for the four year old so she can play with someone at your house without big sister too.

I hadn't thought of it that way. Life isn't fair. I Know once she starts school that she will have more friends in the neighborhood and that should help. It's not like I set up play dates for DD 8, kids just drop by in this neighborhood. I also have a 7 yr. old boy that drops by regularly to visit with DD 8.

I think that some of the problem is that DD 4 does leave them alone. Today, DD 8 and friend was in her room by themselves. Well, DD 4 decides to go outside. She plays for awhile and then puts on her little starter skates in the garage. DD 8 and friend decide that looks like fun and get their skates..... well, trouble started within 10 mins.

 

[grlpwrd]

...could the younger dd get involved in a play group with children her age? Maybe then she could have friends her own age to play with also.

I can't see your 4yo waiting for a year (when she starts kindy, right?) to get some friends. Is there a way you can enroll her in a fun class or invite girls that you all know around her age so they can play?

I would be acting the same way as her if I didn't have anyone to connect with other than family. I would be so lonely and mad. Really, think about how she is feeling... GL!

Oh...and I have 5 kids - 4 girls and a boy. The girls have their sisterly-love squabbles, but they all have opportunities to be alone, with friends, or spend time together with friends and sisters/family. I actively pursue playdates, too.

 

[momx2]

I can't see your 4yo waiting for a year (when she starts kindy, right?) to get some friends. Is there a way you can enroll her in a fun class or invite girls that you all know around her age so they can play?

I would be acting the same way as her if I didn't have anyone to connect with other than family. I would be so lonely and mad. Really, think about how she is feeling... GL!

Oh...and I have 5 kids - 4 girls and a boy. The girls have their sisterly-love squabbles, but they all have opportunities to be alone, with friends, or spend time together with friends and sisters/family. I actively pursue playdates, too.

My DD 4 is in Pre-K everyday, full-time. She has lots of friends. She also sees her friends on Wednesday night at church and Sunday and Sunday night at church. She is also in soccer and goes to birthday parties alot. It's not all God learning at church for the 4 yr. olds. Last night they went to the gym for an hour. She is not at a loss for friends or companionship. DD 4 just wants to be her big sis's bestfriend sometimes and sometimes DD 8 feeds into the problem. I just don't think its fair to make her not play with DD 8 and her friend everyday. I've even explained to them if they play here, they will have to play with DD 4. Still, they stay here most of the times. I'm really not complaining. I just want to find a balance. What is a healthy amount of having DD 4 playing with DD 8?

 

[Alicnwondrln]

well my sister and are i 31 and 29 im older and fight all the time
we are jsut 2 different
i lived with dad and she with mom
we get along sometimes but not consitently
the fights usually go like this
must be nice to go to wdw for xmas (dh and I and the boys went )
oh im sorry well maybe you should get a job you havent had one in over 2 years ( why get a job when she can use her son to get $ form my parents to pay her bills)
very rarely do we fight over stupid stuff its always big and bad

good luck

 

[castleview]

I have no advice, but just a few words of reassurance. My sis and I are 4 years apart (i'm 30, she's 26) and when we were growing up, we fought ALL the time and now she is my very best friend.

Kimya

My sis and I can attest to that. If you see us now, you wouldn't believe that she hurled VCR tapes at me and broke down my door trying to get to me...all because I had control of the remote. Thank goodness SHE finally grew up.

 

[Nicolepa]

Well my kids are only 22 months apart, and they usually play great together, but if a friend is over and they can't all get along and work it out then the friend has to go home end of story. They get 2 warnings and then I send them home.

IMO having friends over every day is too much. We live in a neighborhood w/a ton of kids and in the summer especially kids come around wanting to play. Some days we have to say no.

If the 4 yo is the first one to go out and play and the others come out and fighting starts then the older ones should come in not the younger one. The younger kid also needs alone time. Sounds to me like the older kids want to have their cake and eat it too.

 

[kristen821]

My parents would always make us sit on the couch until we got along. Eventually, we would think it was funny and be laughing together. We were a little older so it may not work but I would give it a try. Make them sit on the couch and completely ignore them until they are getting along. One time the game twister happened to be next to the couch and my sister and i were playing that while still sitting on the couch. It was so funny. It always seemed to work for us.