What to do with a kid who goes to the bathroom constantly?

[vhoffman]

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[Grumpy23]

I had a similar problem with my oldest son when he was about that age. He didn't have ADHD so I don't know if there is a connection there, but we did take him to the doctors at the time. They found nothing physically wrong with him and basically told me it was a phase he was going through and he would quit. He eventually did and there were times I told him he just had to hold it. We have home movies of him playing in soccer games and without fail, you would always see him running out of the porta john, when he was supposed to be on the field. We look back and laugh at it now, but I understand your frustration.

Fast forward to the present. He came to my house the other day to drop off my granddaughter (his daughter) who is 4. As soon as they got in the house, she headed for the bathroom. He said, "she's going through this phase that is driving us crazy, she always says she has to pee". Of course I laughed and told his fiance the whole story about him doing the same thing. Funny thing is, once they left, and she stayed overnight, she only peed 2 times, once before bed and once in the morning.

I told him the same thing, she is playing a game with them. I think you did the right thing today by turning around and going home. I bet he'll think twice next time he wants to go to the mall

I really hope this resolves for you soon. In the meantime, I would downplay his issue, tell him he has to go before he leaves the house and that it's just not worth going places if he has to constantly make you stop so you just have to stay home for now until you figure out why he has to pee so much. If it is truly a power game with him, he'll get the idea quickly.

If it ends up being connected to the ADHD & medication, then please, disregard everything I just said here LOL

 

[vhoffman]

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[Schmeck]

Oldest DD just read the first post over my shoulder, and stated "he should go to WDW with Papa (her grandfather)". My father-in-law went to the mens' room at WDW every five minutes! We joked that he was on a special potty tour...

 

[belle&beast]

My DD5 has diagnosed incontinence issues. Long story short, she withheld her urine so frequently that she no longer feels when she has to go so we are retraining her. She is ona specific diet: no red dyes, citrus or caffeine which all stimulate the bladder. She is also on a voiding schedule of every 2 hours. We have seen great improvement with these changes. Maybe the diet changes would help, who knows?! Good luck. Believe me I know how frustrating potty issues can be. And I am so glad we opted for one more year of preschool- I can't imagine keeping her on her schedule in kindergarten! (Hopefully she'll be retrained by next year!)

 

[vhoffman]

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[Tjaleks]

My son is not ADHD, but he also had a love affair with public bathrooms. He is now 11 and his lasted probably 4-5 years as well. He would hit the bathroom in every store we went to regardless if he had just gone or not. He would also make a visit to each bathroom in the store. It was crazy for a while. We created the same rule about having to go before we left the house and only once while we were out. He finally stopped and we haven't has this problem in a couple of years now.

I hope everything is ok with your son and this test is not too stressful for him.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

My sister had that test done and was found to have kidney reflux. At times, she has to pee every 20 minutes. A yeast infection can also make you go to the bathroom a lot. Another issue could be anxiety about wetting himself, thus every time there is a toilet he will go so as to prevent an accident. For a couple years, I had a spastic bladder that wouldn't empty all the way so sometimes I would go every 15 minutes. Just throwing out some possible problems

 

[Hollister]

Do you know if your DS actually goes to the bathroom when he runs off to one?

 

[vhoffman]

Do you know if your DS actually goes to the bathroom when he runs off to one?

I****

 

[Hannathy]

Thats what I was wondering to, if he actually goes. IMO if he is not running to the bathroom at home like he does when he is out then it probably isn't medical.
I would go with the schedule ( of course sometimes we do have to unexpectedly have to go like if food disagrees so I would assess the situation if he did ask) I would also limit trips he likes for awhile and when he asks say it is because of the bathroom trips. I also would threaten to go in with him to make sure he is peeing, he wouldn't like it but you don't like having to find bathrooms all the time so you are even!

I think it is fine to be firm with him and not let him take advantage of you, you have checked him medically and now need to set some limits- good for you!

 

[Selket]

Of course this reminds me of kids with diabetes but since it has been going on for years it cannot be type 1. If he has a condition that is causing high blood sugar it would cause him to go to the bathroom more. Has his blood sugar and urine been checked?

I think it would be helpful to find out if he does actually pee when he goes into the restroom. I suppose asking him would be sufficient unless you think he wouldn't be honest about it. Chronic and severe constipation can also make one feel the need to urinate more frequently just to relieve some pressure.

Just throwing a few things out there.

 

[belle&beast]

I still feel there's something more going on here than just a power kick with ds. It probably started out that way, but over the years he's developed some retention issues. There's one more test that they've been reluctant to do because its difficult but I would like to have the results. Its a post voiding residual test, that involves the placement of a catheter and filling the bladder with dye, then using a x-ray test to see how the urine actually flows in and out. I really don't want to put ds through a stressful test, and the urologist has held back because it is a difficult test. At this point I feel it might be necessary. I'd certainly hate to blame the kid for something he really can't help. He's been out of school almost 2 weeks now (homeschooling him) and he still is in love with the toilet, everywhere except home. So perhaps something else is going on. Parenting can get frustrating but I don't want to use my frustration as an excuse to give up. I will call Monday to schedule the test. I don't want to make assumptions borne out of frustration, he deserves more.

My DD had this test when she was 3 and let me warn you it is quite traumatic. I believe it is called a VCUG and it is what you described. I just took her to a urologist in our area and they were not used to working with children, so you may have better luck with a pediatric urologist. They did not have to redo the test when we went to the pediatric urologist, but she was terrified. Our story is long, so I will not post it all here, but PM me if you would like to know more about our situation. Good luck!

 

[daisyduck123]

Thats what I was wondering to, if he actually goes. IMO if he is not running to the bathroom at home like he does when he is out then it probably isn't medical.

ITA! It doesn't take a doctor to figure that one out. Hopefully the new schedule will help.

 

[tiggerUK]

this is a bit embarassing but i actually went through this when i was a child. i wet my pants while in school when a teacher stopped me going to the toilet, it was very humiliating. after that i couldn't stop going to the toilet!! at school i asked every 5 minutes, at home i went much less frequently, about every half hour. my mum took me to the drs, she thought i must have an infection and that was why i had wet myself and also why i kept 'going'. well i had lots of tests and he said that there was nothing medically wrong with me and it was psychological. he suggested that the best thing to do was to ignore it and allow me to go as often as i wanted.

my mum spoke to the school and i was moved seats so i was right by the door, i could then just go to the toilet without asking and i could go as often as i wanted. my mum found the problem most annoying when we were out, in town or on a train etc. whenever i knew there was a toilet around i had to go.

well in the end it got ridiculous and we could visit 6 shops and i would go to the toilet in all of them!! so she told me no! she made me go whenever we left the house, and she said i could go once while we were out, if i needed to go again we would go home. this worked, i tested it a couple of times and while we were out, the second time i asked i was taken straight home - i wasn't impressed cos it meant i missed out on fun stuff.

i got out of the habit quite quickly after that!! i just can't leave the house without going to the loo first!!!!

hth

 

[shoegirl1020]

I would suggest taking him into the ladies room, make sure that he actually does pee, then have him count to three and try to pee again. Or, when my brother was younger he would spend 20 minutes every hour in the bathroom, it was a "nervous stomach". which could explain why at home (relaxed) he doesn't need to go as much.

 

[shades]

I still feel there's something more going on here than just a power kick with ds. It probably started out that way, but over the years he's developed some retention issues. There's one more test that they've been reluctant to do because its difficult but I would like to have the results. Its a post voiding residual test, that involves the placement of a catheter and filling the bladder with dye, then using a x-ray test to see how the urine actually flows in and out. I really don't want to put ds through a stressful test, and the urologist has held back because it is a difficult test. At this point I feel it might be necessary. I'd certainly hate to blame the kid for something he really can't help. He's been out of school almost 2 weeks now (homeschooling him) and he still is in love with the toilet, everywhere except home. So perhaps something else is going on. Parenting can get frustrating but I don't want to use my frustration as an excuse to give up. I will call Monday to schedule the test. I don't want to make assumptions borne out of frustration, he deserves more.

This test was called a urodynamics test when I had it done a few years ago. I'm an adult and I was traumatized by this test! I found it extremely humiliating to get through. My test required 2 catheters - one to run the dye into the bladder and the other was inserted in "another area" to measure the amount of pressure involved with voiding at the end of the test. I stood on a stool in front of an x-ray machine and was able to watch the level of fluid rise in my bladded while the doctor filled it. He would ask me questions at various levels like: "pretend you are watching a movie and you are at a good part and you feel like you need to go - but, the movie is too good and you are going to wait" - we progressed up to "I don't care if I miss the best part of the movie - I've got to go NOW". Once we got to that part, he and his assistant helped me sit on a port-a-potty and he and his assistant stepped behind a screen and listened to me "void". The whole test took about 30 minutes (including catheter prep time) and was extremely uncomfortable - both emotionally and physically.

The end result was that my bladder could only hold about 1/3 of the capacity that it should before I had to "go". His treatment plan was to retrain my bladder. Now, I would caution you to limit your son's bathroom trips for the following reasons:
- Since he has been going frequently, his bladder may not be able to hold as much liquid as it should and it will take time to retrain it. My urologist recommended starting out with 15 min intervals - yes - 15 min between bathroom breaks. Each week - I could add on an additional 15 minutes between times.
- I still have to go to the restroom more frequently when I'm out and about than when I'm home. It's a nervous thing - I'm afraid I'm going to have to go and won't be able to - so, I usually end up going more frequently. Fortunately, I now know where every restroom is at WDW.

Good luck to you and your son! I know it is frustrating to you - because I know my own family gets frustrated with frequent restroom stops that I make. Sometimes they just take it in stride as part of our day and sometimes, I see them get obviously annoyed. Trust me, nobody is more annoyed with it than I am.!

 

[surfgirl]

After we re-located a few years ago, my dd had to go *constantly* ... I was worried about it and my dr. told me it was basically a control thing - kids can control:
1) going to the bathroom
2) eating
3) sleeping

Since she was little, she wasn't controlling the eating and sleeping thing and her doctor felt that with a move like this, she felt 'out of control' so this was her way of trying to get some control over her life and emotions.

We were lucky... it was a very short phase that she went through, but I thought I'd share our experience.

 

[vhoffman]

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[belle&beast]

Its occurred to me that his bladder capacity is now quite diminished, regardless of the reason. I've thought to retrain his bladder, like another poster said, starting with frequent trips to the bathroom and increasing the interval.

I reall need to look into the logistics of the test. If he's sedated, I don't see how it could be like the above poster described. That sounded terrible! Surely there must be some other way to get the information needed. I'd like to try working on a voiding schedule, now that he's not in the controlled environment of school, and see where that takes us before we pursue such a test. We do need to get it done by the end of the year because of insurance issues.

The VCUG is different from urodynamics and if your son is sedated, the VCUG will not be a big deal at all. I mentioned that my DD5 had a bad experience with the VCUG when she was 3, but she was awake for the whole thing! In the VCUG they insert a catheter and fill it with dye and watch through and x-ray to seeif the child completely voids or if there is residual in the bladder. They can also look for reflux back into the kidneys. Really, if he is sedated it won't be a problem.