what to do for safety of kids

[luv2nascar]

what can you do or what would you do if you thought a relatives children were in an unsafe enviroment. There have been many incidences recently with the most recent being two little children getting into their parents medicine and eating it while they were not being watched in their own home (2 & 3 yrs old). Turns out the medicine was expired and they were fine but.... we all know what could have happened.

I know there are worse situations with parents on drugs and alcohol but I am concerned for the childrens safety. I will probably be in a lot of trouble with my DH's family if I say anything regarding this but it bothers me. I don't want to just stand around and do nothing and once something happens feel guilty that I didn't do more. I have never had to deal with this type of situation before and don't know if I am overly cautious and should just keep my mouth shut or what. Any advise.

 

[barkley]

if it were me (and i should say-i have a professional background in child welfare) and i was truly concerned, and the parents were unresponsive my voicing my concerns (or the type that i knew i could not personaly approach) and there was noone within the family that i felt i could share my concerns with who might be able to effectivly communicate the concerns to the parents-i would likely make a call to my local child welfare unit.

it can be done anon. if you prefer, and the intake worker will listen to your concerns and observations and determine if a referal for investigation is appropriate.

child welfare does not automaticly "swoop in" and take children (believe me, there were times when everyone involved wished they could have)-they evaluate each situation and are often able to provide parents with tools/education to provide a safe environment for the children.

i would be surprised if the kids were treated by emergency medical personel (depending on the circumstances of the meds. injestion as explained by the parents) if some type of referal has'nt already been made (med. personnel are mandatory reporters for some types of incidents involving kids no matter what the parents say is the circumstance).

don't drive yourself crazy with the concept of "there are kids in much worse situations"-you have to look at the situation you are familiar with and ask yourself "are these children getting a reasonable standard of care and supervision?". with a 2 and 3 year old the standards of supervision tend to be higher than with an older child.

these 2 sound very fortunate-expired meds can be double, triple or more in strength than non expired (and far more deadly).

your situation brings to mind two tragic circumstances i am aware of. one occured in the town we used to live in-a little girl (around 3 1/2 i think) was discovered drowned in the family pool. the media started covering the "tragic accident" and interviewing the neighbors, family...well, it becomes apparant that this little girl was often found out playing unsupervised in the neighborhood and taken back to her home by neighbors, found wandering around the neighborhood and taken back to her home by neighbors, the family starts opening up and saying "yeah, there were times when we thought the mom was making the older daughter (age 5) too responible for watching her little sister-but we were afraid to say anything because they were her kids and we figured she knew best how to raise them...". noone ever voiced their concerns to the mother or anyone who might have stepped in pointed out to the mother that a 5 year old was'nt an appropriate supervisor for herself let alone a 3 1/2 year old sibling). all i can think of is that 5 year old with a lifetime of guilt over her sister's death there was also a case that got alot of national attention-in the midwest i think-2 kids (i think the brother was around 7 and the sister around 4) wandered off and drowned in a pond near the family home. in that case child welfare had actualy done a home visit like the day before because some family and neighbors had stepped forward and made calls about their concerns re. lack of supervision. but again, the lack of supervision had been apparant to people for a long time before someone stepped forward and said anything.

if you've seen enough to be concerned there is probably lots more you are'nt seeing-i would err on the side of being overly cautious and take steps to make sure the children are safe.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You won't be able to do what is in the best interests of those kids AND not have anyone mad at you. Doesn't mean you should stand by and watch if the kids are in an unsafe situation. As far as expired medications, someone expired meds get stronger with age, they don't always get weaker, so that could have been a deadly situation. Of course most of us have done things that could have had disasterous results, but it's the frequency and intent that has to be looked at (not meaning that they intend to harm their kids, but that they are intending to not supervise in certain situations). I could not just stand by and watch if kids are in a true unsafe environment.

 

[barkley]

good point. i would be much madder at myself if one or both of these kids were seriously injured or worse.

i had to bite the bullet several years ago and go against "the family"-i had an elderly family member who under no circumstances should have been driving-he could'nt see, could barely move (so he never looked around at stops signs, backing out of the driveway...). he had managed to maintain a good enough driving record such that he got the automatic renewals in the mail (and did'nt have to go in for an eye exam for another 2 years). "the family" did'nt want to deprive him of his independance and figured the dmv would yank his lis. in a couple of years when they did the eye exam. i worried myself sick that he was going to end up backing over some kid or causing a multi car pile up. so i bit the bullet and reported him to the local police department-called them up one day after i observed his reckless driving and could site a day/a time and specific example. they contacted him and interviewed him, mandated an immediate dmv evaluation and it was determined by dmv he was in no way able to safely opperate a motor vehical.

i did it and took a lot of grief from other family members-but i knew i would have been in for a lot more grief if he had killed himself or someone else and i had'nt done something to prevent it.

 

[dmslush]

I could call child protective services. If you know of a crime being committed (child neglect and possibly endangerment) you are required by law to report it.

 

[barkley]

I could call child protective services. If you know of a crime being committed (child neglect and possibly endangerment) you are required by law to report it.

i wish this were the case, but in actuality only those deemed "mandatory reporters" (including teachers, law enforcement, social services staff, medical providers...) are required by law to report.

i do believe every individual has a moral requirement to report it though.

 

[dmslush]

i wish this were the case, but in actuality only those deemed "mandatory reporters" (including teachers, law enforcement, social services staff, medical providers...) are required by law to report.

i do believe every individual has a moral requirement to report it though.

You're correct, my bad! I'm a madated reporter, and I have it always on my mind that I and legally obligated to report.

OP, here are some questions and answers for your state that might help you make your decision.

http://www.jlc.org/home/mediacenter/factsheets/FAQRCA.html

 

[barkley]

You're correct, my bad! I'm a madated reporter, and I have it always on my mind that I and legally obligated to report.

OP, here are some questions and answers for your state that might help you make your decision.

http://www.jlc.org/home/mediacenter/factsheets/FAQRCA.html

yup, me too! and i've used that to report for other people who were hesitant to report on their own. if it was disclosed to me i might only be able to pass it on as heresay or second hand information but at least i could pass it on.

 

[luv2nascar]

thank for the opinions. Doing the right thing is always the hardest. I think I will probably see them tomorrow and will try to find out more details and see how I feel after that discussion. I usually feel the mother (I'm talking about this perticular family) is the one who neglects these children but this incident occurred while father was supposed to be watching them.

The med as I understand it was Nitrogyclerin which only has a 3 month shelf life I'm being told?? I didn't check the internet for verification of that yet.

I think the sickest part of the whole story and trust me this is just one incident there are too many to list is they have another child and one on the way. What are they thinking. I am worried about this family.

 

[Poohnatic]

Doing what is right isn't always easy or popular. In this case, calling child welfare and stating your concerns is the right thing. It is much better to do it and have ramifications with the parent than to not do it and feel guilt for the rest of your days that you DIDN'T do something.

I have a relative who is a mandatory reporter and had to report a colleague yesterday for that person leaving her children home unattended for an hour when she went to work. She had picked the woman up for work and found this out-then had to tell the boss.

suzanne

 

[disykat]

The first thing I'd do is go to the store and buy them a lockable storage container and a combination lock (like a file box or a fishing tackle box), give it to them, and tell them what it's for. Preprogram the lock with one of their birthdays or their anniversary date. They may not be thrilled, but they certainly won't have any excuse for not locking up their meds because the container can be stored somewhere easily accessible, yet still be safe for their kids.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We have a container for our medicine, but it's much easier than a combination lock for an adult, but kids can't get in. It's called a Child Safe. It's 14" wide and 8" tall and is opened by an adult sticking their finger through a hole and unlatching a childproof latch. Works well and little kids can't get into it because there fingers are not long enough. I don't know if this product is still made--we bought ours years ago.

 

[Serena]

Report it, you'll feel much better for the children if you do.