What to do about Christmas

[mrsbert]

DS7, who has SID, could care less about the presents he gets for Christmas. Two of the four presents he asked for (Wii and Wii game) are part of the family present and one of the four (Star Wars DVD) has been purchased by my DDad. He doesn't want anything else.

I asked him to come up with other things but he says it's too hard. What do I do?

I told him that if we didn't have a tv to watch dvds and play video games then what would he ask for........of course he said a tv.

Getting ideas from him is driving me bonkers. I guess it's bothering me because my older DS asked for two electronic items, which he'll get, and it makes me feel DS7 isn't getting as much.

 

[mechurchlady]

I have SID and oh the memories of Dad saying "She never says thank you". Basically make a list of what he needs and would like. It is hard to deal with SID quirks. The act of making the list may indeed overwhelm him like thinking about how you will get this great gift but then what if it don't happen. SID brains can overreact to simple things like making a list or in my case I am making tons of lists of everything in sight.

I think you will just have to learn to read your son and see what he loves. The more you push the more he shuts down as it is a type of equation of reciprocal force where the more you push the more force is needed to break through a force field like in Star Trek. You need to use as little force as possible to get things done. For me I just up and take out the trash when I walk past it on the way back to my office from the bathroom but yelling at me and smelly trash wont make me if I am really into a dark spell like lately. This means just talking and listening for the littlest hints. Oh, trash and then out it goes.

I am overjoyed over a gift but have to force myself to do a happy dance and show outwardly that I am happy over a gift. Just because your son is not doing a happy dance does not mean he does want or appreciate things. In time you will see what he wants.

Good luck on the gift giving.

Laurie

 

[mrsbert]

Well, he will definitely show how he feels when he gets something he truly likes. He tends to get obsessive about one thing at a time. When he was young it was Ronald McDonald, The Wiggles, Star Wars, Sponge Bob and now back to Star Wars. I think the problem is more that it is all tv and video games and I try to steer him toward other things that use more imagination and social skills. I guess the older he gets the more fine-tuned his interests are.

 

[KirstenB]

Does he have any interest in sports? I'm thinking maybe martial arts lessons. He'd be interacting with others, yet it has a lot of structure to it. Does he like building things? If so, the Kinex toys are good for that. Or how about models? Even though I'm not a boy, I used to love building dinosaur and car models when I was a kid. Again, it's something where you or your husband can interact with him.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Well, he will definitely show how he feels when he gets something he truly likes. He tends to get obsessive about one thing at a time.

I know what that's like. DS (4 1/2) is the same way...a couple of years ago it was Bob The Builder. For a good portion of last year it was VeggieTales and now it's anything to do with cars wh ether it's from the movie, NASCAR (which he loves) or whatever. He keeps asking us if Santa's going to bring him new cars for Christmas.

 

[mrsbert]

Does he have any interest in sports? I'm thinking maybe martial arts lessons. He'd be interacting with others, yet it has a lot of structure to it. Does he like building things? If so, the Kinex toys are good for that. Or how about models? Even though I'm not a boy, I used to love building dinosaur and car models when I was a kid. Again, it's something where you or your husband can interact with him.

Not much interest in sports. We had him in basketball two years ago and I think the only thing that got him thru, was counting down with the clock. When we watch or go to football games, he's more interested in the numbers on the scoreboard, the time left, and the score. He remembered from a few years ago the last time we were at a particular football field, the mascots and colors of both teams.

As for building things, he has fine motor delays and stuff like legos and lincoln logs frustrate him. On the other hand, his brother can play with those all day. I try to get him to play along but it doesn't last long.

 

[BeckyScott]

Our fall-back is usually something from Crayola. Like this year they have that glow-in-the-dark drawing board. I know it sounds wierd, but you might consider getting him his own tv? Hey, you never know. Justin has a SpongeBob one with built-in dvd player that I got on Black Friday last year. You could even check out the pawn shops.

Here's our dilemma: Last year Justin wanted an iCoaster, which is a Magnetix thing. We already had some Magnetix stuff, and while he liked them, I also caught him putting the metal marble in his mouth. So the Magnetix slowly went away, I threw away all the pieces as I found them. Plus there was that whole thing on the news about some of the magnets falling off.

Instead we bought him the KNex coaster. Which I did not realize, but it had over 1000 pieces, and guess who spend four hours Christmas morning putting that together? (there isn't enough coffee in the world) The KNex coaster is still assembled in his room and he seldom plays with it.

I asked him what he wanted for Christmas this year, and he tells me he wants an iCoaster. He isn't gonna give up. He is blaming Santa for bringing him the wrong toy. Now I'm stuck, that is the only thing he wants and I've tried mentioning other things and he just screams NO, he wants an iCoaster. Ugh.

 

[mrsbert]

I asked him what he wanted for Christmas this year, and he tells me he wants an iCoaster. He isn't gonna give up. He is blaming Santa for bringing him the wrong toy. Now I'm stuck, that is the only thing he wants and I've tried mentioning other things and he just screams NO, he wants an iCoaster. Ugh.

Well I have to say my problem of my DS7 not asking for anything seems easier than your DS asking for ONE thing that you DON'T want to get him.

 

[Hasil72]

Instead we bought him the KNex coaster. Which I did not realize, but it had over 1000 pieces, and guess who spend four hours Christmas morning putting that together? (there isn't enough coffee in the world) The KNex coaster is still assembled in his room and he seldom plays with it.

BeckyScott, we feel your pain! We bought DS the same thing last year. DH spent hours putting it together. I think he will kill me if I ever suggest taking it down.

MrsBert,
Star Wars is also my DS's current obsession. What about the Ultimate build your own lightsaber kit? That's all DS is asking for this year. The pieces are bigger than legos and it's Star Wars. It makes over 1000 different lightsabers. Or on the Crayola front, there are a couple sets of Star Wars color wonder and color explosion books and posters. Or what about accessories for the Wii? I think they make lightsaber attachments for the controllers. Does he like Transormers or are they too frustrating?

Good luck!

Don't sweat the small stuff. Reaction or not, you know that you did your best to get him what he wanted. He'll be happy.

 

[mrsbert]

BeckyScott, we feel your pain! We bought DS the same thing last year. DH spent hours putting it together. I think he will kill me if I ever suggest taking it down.

MrsBert,
Star Wars is also my DS's current obsession. What about the Ultimate build your own lightsaber kit? That's all DS is asking for this year. The pieces are bigger than legos and it's Star Wars. It makes over 1000 different lightsabers. Or on the Crayola front, there are a couple sets of Star Wars color wonder and color explosion books and posters. Or what about accessories for the Wii? I think they make lightsaber attachments for the controllers. Does he like Transormers or are they too frustrating?

Good luck!

Don't sweat the small stuff. Reaction or not, you know that you did your best to get him what he wanted. He'll be happy.

Thanks everyone for the ideas so far. Hasil, we went to WDW in February and my DS7, who saved up his own money, could only think of one thing that he wanted. The "oh-so-holy" double-sided light saber. Or, as he says, light saver.


I like the ideas ya'll have given me about Crayola. He really doesn't get into coloring that much but any chance he can get on working on his grip is good. I have ordered the Star Wars Complete Saga Dictionary. It's geared toward an older genre but I know he'll love it. I looked at the Star Wars pop-up book but I'm worried it wouldn't last long in our house.

 

[happily single]

I'm in the same boat with my ds9. I have my ds4 and dd11 almost done. Sadly the older and younger have the same interests. Ds9 not so much. I've gotten him a razor scooter-he loved his but it was stolen-, a light up star wars light saber, Santa didn't bring one that lit up last year. I'm getting him a portable cd/mp3 player with large cushy headphones, a guitar, which he's been asking for and a cheap keyboard, as well as a body sock and some other "sensory" things that I can find.

Oh yeah, if my boss is generous a trip to the Nick Hotel!

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

What is a body sock?
I'm always looking for sensory things, esp toys that DS can chew on because he chews on EVERYTHING. One of the criteria for his toys (the soft plastic ones esp) is "Can he chew on this safely?".

 

[happily single]

Simply put a body sock is like a large pillow case, made out of stretchy material that the kids (or adults) can "climb" into to kind of cocoon themselves.

 

[mrsbert]

Yeah, I Googled the body sock to fiind out what it was. I'm not sure if my DS would be interested.

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

HI- My boys are a little older but I understand. My 13 yr old has Asperger's so I understand ALL about obsessions. Since your son seems to be in a Star Wars "place" I would just go with that theme for him.. How about some Star Wars easy chapter books? or a Star Wars bed buddy type pillow.. Did you get Clone Wars for the Wii? My 11 yr old is gettig that plus the Lightsabers that you can add on to thr remote to play with... Also, we always get the strategy books with the new games.. I swear they can spend HOURS reading the strategy books.. Even if child cant quite read yet- they seem to be able to figure out the graphics . Is he into Pokemon/Yugioh type cards? There are Star wars ones now. You can get him some of those and a binder to display in.. There are so many Star wars things out there...

 

[mechurchlady]

Yeah, I Googled the body sock to fiind out what it was. I'm not sure if my DS would be interested.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/body-sox.html
SID/SPD varies from person to person. The body sox/sock is for those who love the feeling of been hugged and swaddled. For me I love to wrap my shoulders with a blanket then wrap up in more blankets while laying on a soft blanket. I feel better in snug old pants and long sleeved shirt that is soft. It is a tactile issue that not all people with SID have or can even stand. Not everyone has everything on the list and two people can be almost opposites.

Hope the present shopping is going along. Model kits frustrated me but I loved Lincoln Logs and Tonka trucks. How about Star Wars undies, pajamas, bedding, and lamps? I cannot put a proper term to him but he is like a statistician and collector of data in that he is setting there figuring how long the game is, scores and other information. You will have to watch he does not become OCD with data collection or collecting stuff. As a hobby you might look into collectible/trading cards or maybe a starwars clock.

 

[BeckyScott]

Here's another idea:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_t...-and-games&field-keywords=Giga+ball&x=12&y=16

The Giga Ball.

We got one of these for Justin last Christmas and he still uses it almost every day. It's strictly an indoor toy (I had read many reviews of it popping easily outside) and takes up quite a bit of space. But it's big enough actually I can climb inside with him. He just likes to hang out in there and read, or sometimes he sits on the outside of it like a huge inflatable chair.

 

[mrsbert]

Wow!! Ya'll are so great with the ideas. My SIL sent me a link for Star Wars fleece pj pants. I grabbed two pair for $8 each! He wears sleep pants every night even if it's 100 degrees outside.

We've got a small trampoline in his room right now but I love the Giga Ball.

A little OT, but I printed out a SID checklist and went over it. DS7 is definintiely hypersensitive to touch, smell, visual and oral input. He is scattered in Hyper and Hypo to sounds and is mostly a sensory seeker. Doing the checklist helps me out by narrowing down things he loves. I will say he is very good about calming himself and only stims (flapping) when very excited. I usually try to redirect him when I see it.

I'm making an appointment with Children's Hospital to have him evaluated there. The only other evaulation he's had is with early intervention and the school system. I want to make sure there aren't other things going on.


Again, thanks so much for your help.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

 

[lucigo]

Well, he will definitely show how he feels when he gets something he truly likes. He tends to get obsessive about one thing at a time. When he was young it was Ronald McDonald, The Wiggles, Star Wars, Sponge Bob and now back to Star Wars. I think the problem is more that it is all tv and video games and I try to steer him toward other things that use more imagination and social skills. I guess the older he gets the more fine-tuned his interests are.

I'm doing the same thing, trying to find present ideas that are NOT electronic because they will lead to obscession!

My son loves marbles, have you ever seen Frigits? Big hit here....
http://frigits.com/

He also loves his magnadoodle (hyperlexic) so we are getting a Glow Station which I think will be lot of fun.

For social skills you could get some board games, yahtzee, chutes and ladders, etc. depending on his skill level, even scrabble if he is like mine and loves letters.

As far as sensory, have you thought about a hammock, a tent, a beanbag chair? My husband and son have great "social time" with a big blanket and a flashlight.

Hope I've helped a little?

 

[mechurchlady]

Have you searched K-Mart and Wal-Mart as well as other stores.

They are out but there is a table and chairs set.

http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_1030000000275913P
a $49 laptop

http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_103000000417128DP
Hasbro's Mr. Potato gone Star Wars, lol. Artoo Detoo toy.

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5246054
Out of your price range but $48 wal-mart replica pistol from Star Wars

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10166583
Star Wars Christmas stockings with Darth and Yoda

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10261974
3 piece light up boys pajamas with robe for about $19

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10333761
Star Wars 3-PC Dinnerware Set and thsoe are pretty sturdy as Mom has a collection of cute plates like those but mostly Disney.

Not to mention the stickers that you can use on presents and t-shirts. They used to make Star Wars stationary like wrapping paper but that might not be made any more.

As for the SID it is the same as many labels in that some doctors slap a label on the person and that is it, end of discussion. In my life I have been on the receiving end of labels and seen too many people labeled then left with no instructions. SID is especially hard because of the hyper and hypo as well as a person being hyper in one thing and hypo in another. Some solutions are self awareness, training, and adjusting your life around the quirks. I am glad you are more aware of what your son's quirks are and that will be able to help you more. Also check the autism and asperger boards as they have a higher rate of SID and as you have seen can help you with hyper and hypo sensitivity.

Big hugs and happy present hunting.