What to do About Child Care for a Getaway

[Tower]

Now don't get me wrong, we love our kids! It's gotten to the point however that Mom and Dad need a break too! Our ideal time for a trip south is November/December. Lately, we've been taking the kids along with us, but it's not much of a break for us. (I have a home office and I see them every day, volunteer at their school, assistant coach in hockey etc., etc.)

DW and myself would love a getaway just for ourselves, maybe hit Epcot just for ourselves in November for DW's birthday. Now, what to do about kids? DW's dad will be 77, a widower and not much to care for kids (DS10.DD8, DS4). My mom, a widow too, will also be 77, lives an hour away and not keen on spending time sitting her youngest grand kids. DW's family all works during the day and the closest is 1/2 hour drive away with no driver's licence. My siblings are all in Brantford and Woodstock and have their own kids to watch/take to school. This is why we brought the kids along with us in the past, so that child care would not be as much of a hassle.

We have no close enough friends that we would trust/burdon to look after our kids while we take a personal jaunt of our own. Any suggestions on child care for a week on a very limited budget?

 

[Bertie9396]

Well, if it was me there is no way I would leave my kids with anyone other than someone I trusted 1000%. To me, that is certain relatives and very close friends. DH and I are lucky. His parents are FANTASTIC with watching our DD and we have very close friends who we take each other kids all the time...I have no worries when DD is with these people. I don't even leave my DD with my own Mom overnight - I just don't feel comfortable about it. DH and I have only left DD for a trip (longer than one night) on two occasions. Once for a wedding in Ottawa (2 nights) and when we went on our 10th Anniversary trip to Las Vegas (4 nights). She was 4 at the time. And while we had a great time on both occasions, we agreed we woudn't be going away without her again for a VERY long time.

Sorry I don't have any advice to offer. Like I said, I know I'm lucky to have great back-up and have been fortunate enough to have some time away. But you want to make sure they are well taken care of so you can just relax and enjoy yourselves. Good luck!

 

[highland3]

We used Fairy Godmothers (or something close to that) a few years ago. DW and I wanted to go out for a nice dinner on our own a d a leisurely trip back to the resort. It was great. The service is endorsed by Disney and the employees are all screened with police record checks. They come equipped with books, games and craft supplies. It haves us a night out and the kids a low-key, quiet night in.

 

[ccudmore]

We have a similar dilemma where we'd like to get away for our 20th anniversary next fall without the kids will be (13, 10, 8 when we go). What we're doing is contacting a couple relatives (closest relatives are 8 hours away) and asking very nicely if they'd mind coming to watch the kids for us. With it being such a special event, and having that much lead time, and the fact that we're a bit flexible with dates they're seeing if they can schedule their work so they can take a few days off and come and help out. We're also paying for their airfare to get here so that adds to the expense, but its worth it.

On top of that we're storing up favours by offering a few close neighbours that we'll watch each of their kids for a few day over the next year so that they can also each take ours for a few days when the trip comes along. We're hoping that between these 2 options we can get them covered off for the length of the trip.

So my advice, plan well in advance and ask nicely.

 

[coastgirl]

We are in the same situation. Only one living grandparent, a frail 89-yo MIL. My son has some special needs and while dh's sisters would take the kids, they just wouldn't adjust their own child-rearing practicies sufficiently. (I.e., I think they're borderline mean to their own kids, and I'm not going to leave either of my kids with them for more than a few hours!) My sister could manage it, but she lives in BC and we live in NS. (And we’ve considered flying out and taking an Alaska cruise, just so we could do something for ourselves and have a spot for the kids!)

Are the 8 and 10 yo old enough to do an extended sleepover with friends? You might be able to get a long weekend out of it, and take just the little one. Then you could do some of that babysitting stuff. We've used Fairy Godmothers in-room and also Simba's Cubhouse at AKL.

Dh and I have not had a night without ours since they were born, so I know what you're talking about. You can tell I've also given it thought! But I also think the limited time and resources we have for travel should be for family time, so ideally I’d have someone I could drop them with for a weekend every now and again rather than spending a fortune to arrange child care for them while we go “have fun”.

One thing I have up my sleeve, but haven't yet tried, is hiring someone to stay with them. They've had a summer nanny whom they really like, and I think I could talk her into having a sleepover for a few nights. (She's no kid, in her 40's and an RN.) I think the best we could do from that would be a weekend jaunt somewhere in NS though. And of course it’s going to cost me a 24-hour-a-day wage for her, so not to be taken lightly.

The other option would be to bring a sitter with you? We have also entertained bringing my god-daughter, who’s 16, with us, so she could watch the kids for a few hours at a time while we do our thing. Again, though, a local option would be significantly cheaper. Our budget is also limited, so none of these are particularly attractive.

Good luck—let me know if you get anything sorted out! I can live vicariously through you! ;-)

 

[tgropp]

This is quite a dilema for you as I never had problems finding someone to look after my children as I had eager Grandparents to help out....but it seemed that we always took our children along on vacations, against my wifes wishes at times since she longed for a vacation where we could do things by ourselves. That problem was solved when we took a family member along with us to WDW. We got to go out for dinners, park time by ourselves while our children were being looked after, and we got to spend time with our children also. I just thought that we would have lots of time in the future to travel by ourselves. I would try to find someone very capable and trustworthy to take along with you since your options are limited. Hoping that you find a way to get down there, to enjoy yourselves and be free of any worries.

 

[michelle1]

Can you get away in the summer instead of fall? With your kids out of school you could potentially take the kids to a relative's for a few days and you wouldn't be asking your relatives to put themselves out as much by having to come and stay at your place. My sister and brother in law spend most of the summer at their cottage and would rather watch my kids up there. I would prefer to go away a different time of year but for now it works.

 

[Ted in Halifax]

I think most parents have this problem nowadays. We have always included the younger kids in our vacation plans (Leaving the 18 and 21 year old at home most times). In our case, the same grandparent limitations (Frail etc) exist, along with inlaws that have questionable child rearing practices. So Grandparents and inlaws are ruled out.

In our case having older kids, we used them on small one night get aways. So, I'd book a room via priceline in downtown halifax and get away with the wife for just one night. This was my attempt to get my wife comfortable with leaving the kids with our 18 year old (she is female and much more responsible than our 21 year old male).

I pushed this to 3 days (2 nights) in quebec for a concert. All kids survived.

Now I realize that very few people with young children have older children and this approach doesn't work. I do like the idea of a babysitter ...but to go away for a few nights is hard. It is too bad that there wasn't a kids camp to send the kids to? Interesting thread.

 

[ccudmore]

I haven't been there but I know people who have.. At the Franklyn R resort in Jamaica, each family has a private nanny assigned to them during the stay. This nanny can watch the kids as much or as little as you want, but they're dedicated to you and your family.

 

[Tower]

I haven't been there but I know people who have.. At the Franklyn R resort in Jamaica, each family has a private nanny assigned to them during the stay. This nanny can watch the kids as much or as little as you want, but they're dedicated to you and your family.

I check this place out, but it's way too pricey for us. Might as well go to Disney. But the point of the original post was that the kids have gotten this 'entitlement attitude' and not appreciating the trips as much anymore. The trips, especially the last one we were on, were mommy/daddy trips that we allowed them to go on. It still meant we were not vacationing as much as we would have liked. Bringing a baby sitter, which we have done in the past, defeats the purpose of our getaway.
The reason we chose November was because it's also DW's birthday that month and she, more than I deserves a break. I may just send her away with her sister to a spa weekend sometime and get a more relaxed mommy afterwards. That in itself is a great reward for me!
Come November, I may be able to convince my mom to come in for a couple days and then take the kids with her home so they can play with their more local cousins on the weekend.
Thanks for your input everyone!

 

[Ted in Halifax]

I.... the kids have gotten this 'entitlement attitude' and not appreciating the trips as much anymore.

Our kids suffer from this too ....

 

[kitntrip]

Really, there may not be much you can do if there's no one to watch your children. You can try a nanny service, but that can get expensive and it's a stranger living in your home. You can't use relatives and have no close friends, so it might be just one of those things where you'll have to put the kibosh on any future trips until A-your children are old enough to stay home alone, B- they lose the entitlement factor, or C- they can maybe stay with their best friend's families as an extended sleepover.

 

[minniemomof3]

I am in the same situation. We have always taken our children on vacation with us. Have you considered a cruise? Disney has a great kids camp on board which allows the parents to spend time together while the kids have a great time. My daughters absolutely loved it.

 

[Tower]

I am in the same situation. We have always taken our children on vacation with us. Have you considered a cruise? Disney has a great kids camp on board which allows the parents to spend time together while the kids have a great time. My daughters absolutely loved it.

DCL is our favourite cruise line. Only done one so far and will be going again in December 2012! (Once DCL finally makes up their collective minds on where the Magic will be going)

 

[ccudmore]

One suggestion that I could make is to just try a 3 or 4 night mini-trip. I see you're in Mississauga so you're very close to Pearson which makes this possible. When we lived in southern Ontario we occasionally did a long weekend trip to Bahamas. There's frequent enough direct flights from Pearson that that you could do something like that with your kids just spending a few nights away. It's not a 10 day trip, but it may be enough to recharge the batteries.