What to call your in-laws?

[coneygoil]

I have a great relationship with my in-laws. So very blessed by that! I call them Mr. Howard and Mrs. Debbie, but my FIL told me the other day to call him "dad". He's always wanted a daughter (because all they had were 2 sons) and was excited that his son married me. My husband's brother will 99.9% never get married or be in a good relationship. Basically, I'm the only "daughter" my FIL will have. I'm not sure what to do. I think of my in-laws as my second set of parents, but to call someone else "dad" is weird for me. If I called him something else like "Pop", it wouldn't be so weird. I just don't want to hurt my FIL's feelings if I tell him I can't call him dad.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

We call each other's parents by their first names. We each have a Mom and Dad. I could not call someone else my Mom or my Dad.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I call my in-laws by their first name.

My brand new DIL has called me mom at times. I am ok with that or my first name...whatever makes her comfy works for me.

 

[disneyfans95]

Mom and Dad..

Never seen the big deal people make about calling the inlaws this. They act like you are insulting your parents or something when you do it..

Very insecure parents if they are that worried about what the inlaws are being called.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I call them by their first names, always have. DH calls my parents by their first names as well.

 

[tvguy]

I called my in laws by their first names.

My wife calls my mother "mum". She asked her what she wanted to be called, and that I guess is common in Canada where my mom grew up.

 

[indimom]

Any chance you might give them their first grandchild soon??? Because I've found the names "Grandma" and "Grandpa" to be the miracle cure for this little discomfort....

I'm with you, it felt beyond strange to call my in-laws "mom" and "dad." I generally just avoided using any title whatsoever during the first couple years of my marriage. Just "Hi, How are you guys? Oh, that turkey smells marvelous! How has work been?" Etc, etc....
Then we had our first child and the whole name issue ended abruptly, with the introduction of "grandma" and "grandpa."

 

[NMAmy]

I always called my ex's parents by their first names.

With DH's parents, it seemed a little disrespectful--they were in their 70's when DH and I got together. I called them Mam and Dad, as DH did. I guess I was old enough at that point that it didn't seem like a big deal.

 

[superme80]

I call mine by their first names. My parents call their respective in laws mom and dad, but my parents have been married for over 40 years.

 

[mothermouse]

my 3 year old daughter calls them mom mom and pop pop, so thats what we call them. before that i called them by their names. too weird to call them mom and dad even though teir great people

 

[crz4mm2]

First names.

 

[SaraJayne]

Both DH and I call our respective in-laws by their first names.

Though my SIL's call my MIL "Mom", I have no desire to call her that. She isn't my Mom.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't really have a huge problem with inlaws being called 'Dad' or 'Mom'
Hey, whatever works!

But, in my own situation, there was just NO way I was going to call my MIL and FIL 'Mom' and 'Dad'.

In their book, this was definitely indicative of a parent-child dynamic, with the parent having say-so and 'control'....
I was nearly 30 when we married, and this was just NOT happening.

Nobody had ever brought up the subject of how we would address each other.
But, after DH and I were married, they were quick to accuse and indict me because they were just SO offended,
and I was just so 'disrespectful' because I didn't call them Mom and Dad....

If you and FIL have a good relationship and care for each other, maybe you might give more consideration to calling some of 'Dad'.

If you have a baby in the near future, the other poster is right... Grandma/Grandpa is the perfect solution to this!!!!

 

[doxdogy]

When both sets of parents were alive, we called them Mom and Dad. DH will tell you that my dad taught him more about fixing things, then his own dad taught him.

 

[ilovejack02]

When first dating dh and first cpl years into marriage I called them Mr. Stephen and Mrs. Gloria. 16 years in I now call them by their first names or what my son calls them , Grammy and Papaw. I do adore them ,but they aren't my parents. Never could call anyone else Mom and Dad.

 

[disykat]

I call them by their first names. I think you have to do whatever works for you and feels most comfortable.

I think it's unfair to insinuate that people who don't wish to call their inlaws mom or dad are inmature or insecure. I guess I would say the same about anyone who insisted people address them a certain way whether they are comfortable doing so or not.

Thankfully, my inlaws have been okay with letting me address them in a way I am comfortable with.

 

[Ephany]

My MIL I call by her first name, my FIL Mr. first name. They're not my parents; I'd never feel comfortable calling someone else that. it has nothing to do with my own parents being insecure, I just find it to be something that makes me twitchy. For a long time, all of us (the daughter-in-laws) just avoided calling my FIL anything, until we all decided that Mr. first name was it. Once the grandbabies started rolling in, it became much easier.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I happily call my in-laws Mom & Dad. Biology didn't give me the family I wanted but I was able to choose this set for myself so.

Truth is the term in laws actually means that according to law, at least going back to when the term became a tradition, your spouses family should be perceived as your own, with all the rights, duties and taboos that accompany those relationships. Calling in laws Mom & Dad isn't meant to replace what you were born into, in an ideal world the terms just make your family circle wider.

Call them whatever you want but I think it's a nice gesture for your FIL to request you call him Dad, it means you are accepted into the fold.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have a great relationship with my in-laws. So very blessed by that! I call them Mr. Howard and Mrs. Debbie, but my FIL told me the other day to call him "dad". He's always wanted a daughter (because all they had were 2 sons) and was excited that his son married me. My husband's brother will 99.9% never get married or be in a good relationship. Basically, I'm the only "daughter" my FIL will have. I'm not sure what to do. I think of my in-laws as my second set of parents, but to call someone else "dad" is weird for me. If I called him something else like "Pop", it wouldn't be so weird. I just don't want to hurt my FIL's feelings if I tell him I can't call him dad.

Aw, I would probably call him "dad". He sounds sweet. After awhile it grows on you.

My sister recently started calling her MIL "mom". My sis is caring for her in her home as MIL is terminal.

It was weird at first but now it is like, eh.

In fact my nephew "changed" his name. Well he wanted to go by his first name instead of the name his mom used which was his middle name. That took a long time to get used to. It took me a whole year to finally settle into that name. I would forget and call him the other name.

Now I don't even think of his middle name and call him by his first name.

 

[Pakey]

To my husband and to them, I refer to them by their first names.

In my head, I refer to them as dumb and dumber. They are nice enough people but my husband came from a very shallow gene pool.