What the heck? (Mods, please close!)

[debster812]

Not picking on you, but this seems like a bash fest to me. Just because a person isn't well liked, that's a reason to beat the crap out of her? Personally, that's what it seems like to me after pages and pages of people belittling and berating someone, no matter how silly or wrong they've been. If someone says something that people feel is stupid, why not just ignore her?

I guess I'm just adding to the mess by posting this, but it just bothers me a little. I think that the pages and pages of people giving the OP a piece of their mind seem at least as silly as the original post.

I also wanted to add, and I am in no way, shape or form, picking on you either. This path has been travelled by this particular OP many many MANY times. I think folks are somehow hoping, if the same message is repeated enough, it might just sink in.

Now, when she's back here in 2 weeks or a month, asking for yet MORE job hunting advice, while dismissing all the good advice she's gotten in the past.....that's where a great many people's frustration comes in, I think.

 

[gradtchr]

I went and reread everything I posted and I did not see any bashing on my part. Disbelief yes, bashing no.

 

[dcgrumpy]

We've been reading the same nonsense for 5 years. She knows exactly the kind of reaction she's going to get from people.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

Seriously, I guess I just don't see the point of jumping all over her. Public Service? Amateur psychology? Whatever. I don't care about bashing so much as the rest of us thinking we're any better.

I'm just as bad for getting involved, so when I say this, I'm talking about myself too, but every part of this thread is silly, not just the original post. The OP isn't the only one who likes drama.

 

[Missy1961]

An OP can request for a thread to be closed without a rule being broken.

I understand that. However, this request reminds me of "I don't want to play anymore & it's my ball & I'm going home!" It gets a little old when people don't like the way a thread is going & want to close it. I didn't know all of her history when I posted yesterday morning. I thought I was helping someone who didn't understand something. Next time, I won't bother. But I still think there is no reason for this thread to be closed.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't see the point in jumping on TOV either. If someone doesn't like what she posts, why not put her on ignore? She may crave attention but that doesn't mean that DISers have to rush forward to give it to her.

TOV, next time try not to take this job hunt personally. To most HR type people you're just a number and not someone they're trying to insult. They see a zillion people over time and it's great if they even respond in any shape, form or fashion.

 

[Poohnatic]

You know, I *could* go back through all my subscribed threads and bump up every one in which the OP posts the same sad sack story. I could, but I won't. I doubt anyone wants to see two full pages of the same song, different day.

Inga, I wish that were an exaggeration, but it's not. Lauri goes further back on the DIS than I do, and I'm sure if she were to dig up subscribed threads in which she offers the OP valid job hunting advice (of which she's a treasure trove), she'd probably have three pages of bumps.

If giving her the honest opinion that if she walked into my business and displayed the behaviors she states on the dis would not prompt me to hire her is bashing, then I freely own up to it. It is mind boggling to me how someone can get tons of good advice and repeatedly ignore it.

Suzanne

 

[Planogirl]

That product looks cool and this lady is close to me. I think that I'll ask about this and post her website on the local chatboards. Maybe some good will come out of this.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

I know, I'm just being a wet blanket, ruining the party, etc.

If it's fun to argue with the OP, go for it. I guess I'm not doing anything much more productive today either.

 

[robertsmom]

We've been reading the same nonsense for 5 years. She knows exactly the kind of reaction she's going to get from people.

Thank you! I was thinking the exact same thing.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

Oh, I'm just in a silly devil's advocate kind of mood today, but here goes:

So if there's a teacher, say she just doesn't discipline well, you tell your kids "she should know what kind of reaction she's going to get so she's fair game to disrespect".

There aren't any trash cans at the mall so "They should know that if there are no trash cans people will throw stuff on the floor" and so you just drink your Starbucks and throw thow the cup over your shoulder.

My point is, just because there's a target, does that mean you have to aim for it? Just wondrin'

 

[dcgrumpy]

Personally, I think most of her posts are bait. Like someone else said she likes the attention.

 

[Poohnatic]

My point is, just because there's a target, does that mean you have to aim for it? Just wondrin'

I can't speak for the others, to me it's like advising an alcoholic. As long as they deny they've got a problem, nothings going to change. However, if I keep on pointing out the obvious and giving advice, perhaps someday, the lightbulb will go on and with it the realization that the person is their own worst enemy will enact change.

I'm what most people call a Pollyanna-and I truly want to help, thus the posts on these threads. However, I was raised with a healthy dose of skepticism. To see someone constantly make the same complaints, despite all the advice given over and over leads me to think the person is A. Stupid, B. A Drama Queen, C. Lazy, or D. All of the Above.

Perhaps we're all pollyannas, thinking that if we keep on providing good advice, perhaps the OP might actually listen to it-or realize that she's got to change herself. Perhaps we're all cynics and are bashing her for the pleasure of it.

I've spoken of where I come from, and most of the posters that have replied are not mean spirited people (at least the ones I recognize as being on the DIS a long time). They've just got little patience for someone who keeps complaining about the same thing over and over, and failing to do anything about the situation they've posted.

Suzanne

 

[dis ms.]

Oh, I'm just in a silly devil's advocate kind of mood today, but here goes:

So if there's a teacher, say she just doesn't discipline well, you tell your kids "she should know what kind of reaction she's going to get so she's fair game to disrespect".

There aren't any trash cans at the mall so "They should know that if there are no trash cans people will throw stuff on the floor" and so you just drink your Starbucks and throw thow the cup over your shoulder.

My point is, just because there's a target, does that mean you have to aim for it? Just wondrin'

Hmm...I see what you're saying, but it's not quite the same thing to me--well, unless the teacher wants the kids to disrespect her and the mall management wants its property littered with trash.

Your examples indicate incompetence on the part of the teacher and an oversight on the part of the mall management. By your above comparisons, you seem to be suggesting that TOV is unaware her posts will bring the attention (albeit negative) she receives. In reality, it's her desired effect.

I agree with Poohnatic. I don't think people are being meanspirited. We're being honest. When I respond to someone asking for opinions or advice, I assume they want honesty.

Another thing: If no one responded, we'd be accused of being mean because we're ignoring the OP.

 

[TheMummyQueen]

I can't believe my second post will be answering something on the Community board, but what the heck - you have to jump in sometime. I used to lurk (posting very seldomly) on the DIS boards a few years ago and just returned for info on onsite stays at Universal Studios. But now I am older, hopefully wiser, but definitely mouthier so what the heck, here goes.

First of all, I cannot see where anybody is trashing, attacking or baiting the OP. She is getting quite a bit of feedback that her behavior and actions would be viewed as unprofessional by a hiring manager. If everybody ignored her, and only one or two people posted that they way she is handling her interviews may not be in her best interest, the OP would have ample reason to think that the silent majority actually agrees with her methods. That old saying - no news is good news could very easily apply here. But when the OP receives feedback from the majority of posters that her response to both interviews was not in her best interests, perhaps it will make some impact eventually. No matter how much you don't want to hear it, it is hard to ignore seven pages of feedback that you did not handle the situation correctly. And if this is the same poster as I remember from years ago (was she the same one who was concerned about her child walking several years ago?), this poster could use some pretty strong feedback that just might help her someday. I think Poohnatic hit it on the head - maybe, just maybe someday she will see the light. I found all the posts here rather gentle actually. Offering advice and helping her see the broader scope of how her reactions could affect her further job search.

As for networking, as a hiring manager, we do this all the time. We share interviews constantly. And although we do have to be careful when speaking negatively about somebody, there are no boundaries in sharing excellent applicants. And there is management speak" that goes on all the time with other hiring managers that you have had a problem with an employee/applicant, that conveys the message of don't hire, but allows you to stay within the realm of legal constraints. So, in my not so humble opinion, it was very beneficial to the OP for the others to point out how far her simple e-mail to a hiring manager can reach in the hiring community. Bad news always travels fast.

I would also like to add my warning to the OP. Professional courtesy and bashing limitations go both ways. The OP has come to a very busy forum, publicly named not only the company, but the president and then made negative remarks about the company. While, right now she has only made herself look silly and unprofessional, any more serious denouncing of the company could earn her a call from the company's legal counsel. And correct me if I am wrong - but isn't it against DIS rules to name companies?

 

[mickeysgal]

She has the right not to hire you based on whatever criteria she wants to use. I am not seeing a problem here. I think it is nice to at least know what the reasons were. Then you can know if it is something you need to work on or if it just was a matter of wrong place/wrong time (which it was).

Just a tip, you are owed NOTHING when you send in a resume. Unless you have a marketable skill that is in serious demand, they are interviewing YOU and you are trying to impress them...not the other way around.

LOL, the good news is that you at least were able to set her mind at ease that she made the right choice, by default.

The OP just got a variation of the "thanks, but no thanks" letter. Actually, I'm surprised that the OP even got a response. Many a time when DH was looking for a job, we got no response at all. Nada, nothing. I'd be glad that they at least had the professional courtesy to respond. I certainly would have just let it drop and not have responded in the manner that you did. As the above quote stated, you now have given them more reason to justify why they didn't choose you. Always leave your bridges unburned. You NEVER know when you're going to need that connection. (Who knows maybe that hiring manager moves onto another company that you eventually apply for.) It is indeed a small world. You don't want to leave a bad impression anywhere if you can help it.

 

[mickeysgal]

OP, I think you need to get more peaceful about your job search. You can't just slam people because they didn't hire you but might have something later. You could have shut the door on a great job! They even mentioned friends and neighbors so obviously they like to keep things close. Breathe slowly and regroup mentally. You have to stay positive while looking for work. People can read attitude. As for the babysitting problem, when I was in charge of hiring a problem with babysitiing would have sent up red flags for me had the person not said something like, "don't worry, when I come to work for you I WILL have backup childcare."

There is more to this than a simple rejection letter. There is some underlying stress going on here that is making the OP take this way too personally. Job hunting is frustrating, stressful and certainly can max out someone's patience if at home, there is some sort of financial or emotional strain caused by the joblessness. To the OP: Take it slowly and be more careful in your actions next time. This job simply wasn't meant to be. You'll find the one you're looking for. Remember, positive energy and positive thinking!

 

[my3kids]

My husband's wonderful administrative assistant ended up in her position because while she didn't get another job she had applied for that manager passed her resume on to my husband because he was so impressed with her as a candidate. I'm thinking no one is going to be passing on anything good about you after a retiatory email response to her message to you. I really can't understand any response to her other than thank you so much for considering me and if you find my skills match another position, I'd be most happy to speak with you again in the future......

 

[erock]

Any response she received for her resume submission should have prompted an e-mail or letter from her thanking the company for even considering her.

 

[MeanLaureen]

Just checking back in and see that there was a lot of good advice given, TOV. Hopefully you will take it to heart and pay attention to what people are saying here.

You need to be more careful about how you portray yourself online because as someone else said, you are burning bridges all over the place. You never know who could be your contact to get a job. For instance, my company has stores all over near you that I could have set you up in an interview with, but I'm not going to put my name on an interview after seeing how you treated this last potential employer. So your actions towards one, will hurt you towards many. Remember that!