What sort of person are you?

[LuvOrlando]

I was just wondering about people's general dispositions.

I am the sort of person who believes in things/people pretty deeply but once they show me any hint of deception I cut them loose. But, it seems, not everyone is like this. Time and time again I notice otherwise reasonable adults unwilling to accept they have been deceived. So I'm thinking this sort of behavior is more of a generalized disposition issue than anything else.

Being honest, where do you fall on the spectrum?

 

[Disneyrsh]

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[BillSears]

I'm the type who tends to take people at face value until they break that. Then I'll remember it for a bit and then forget it ever happened. It'll take a few times of being wronged before I'll realize it might actually be the type of person they really are.

Sort of like the old saying:

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I guess you were never in the PTA or worked in the corporate world?

Seriously, deception is part of life. It is how you handle the deceptive behavior that is key.

In other words in some situations like your job, you cannot "cut out" people.

So in essence, I find that using common sense is the best approach. I am not a believer in cutting off your nose to spite your face and at the same time I am not going to be fake and pretend that someone is not lying and give carte blanche.

Yin-yang, balance, etc.

Not sure how to vote on your poll.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Hmm, well cutting someone out doesn't necessarily mean I'm not around them anymore. I could easily cut someone out who is sitting right next to me. It's all about the mindset, not the distance. I used to work in a big Corp in NYC, now do the PTA, and sports ect but to me there is a world of difference between a friend and an acquaintance/ally. It takes years to get on my 'friend' list because friends can hurt me, acquaintances & allies can't... it's just how I'm wired.

I don't think it's depressing at all. Some people are deceitful, some are not. To me it's realistic, I don't think truth is depressing at all. I'd rather know the truth and rip someone off like a band-aid then spend years being lied to.... now THAT is depressing to me.

 

[Disneyrsh]

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[Pakey]

I can't vote in this poll either.

 

[Tink888]

I take everyone at face value. I'm generally nice to everyone. It takes me a long time to really let people in. If someone deceives me, I will forgive, but I don't forget. I'm still congenial towards them, I wouldn't be mean but I wouldn't seek those people out either.

I guess I'm the type of person where, if someone deceives me, I just won't allow myself to be put in the position where they can do it again. Not sure if that makes sense, it was a hard question to answer.

 

[GeorgeG]

I've been around long enough that I'm not easily deceived, but I'm always open to other views and opinions as long as I'm not expected to accept them without question. I like to get along with everyone, but someone who has gone out of their way to try to manipulate me has made a serious mistake.

Hey, I love going to WDW just to hang out so I can't be all that bad...

 

[Nette]

I'm having trouble voting in the poll as well...

I'm generally a very good judge of character. Occasionally that fails me, or a person changes enough over the course of time that I have already let my guard down with them and so I don't see the deception happening (this happened w/ my last boss at my old job). I usually can tell a snake oil salesman, or someone who is going to stab me (or others) in the back from a mile away, and I do my best to avoid these people. Obviously that is not always possible, so I CMA as much as possible in those situations.

However, as far as "cutting people loose"... if you do something to hurt ME personally, you have a far better chance of winning my forgiveness. If you hurt someone I care about... forget it, all bets are off, you are in the doghouse. That's not to say that people can't make small mistakes. It's the big deliberate ones that tick me off.

 

[Robinrs]

I've been around long enough that I'm not easily deceived, but I'm always open to other views and opinions as long as I'm not expected to accept them without question. I like to get along with everyone, but someone who has gone out of their way to try to manipulate me has made a serious mistake.

I'm with George, with years come wisdom and discernment, so I'm NOT the person I was back in my 20s and 30s when I believed in EVERYONE!

What's painful is seeing people you love go through it all with eyes wide open. There is nothing you can do but let them go thru it like I did.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

I'm the type who tends to take people at face value until they break that. Then I'll remember it for a bit and then forget it ever happened. It'll take a few times of being wronged before I'll realize it might actually be the type of person they really are.

Sort of like the old saying:

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action.

This basically describes how I am, too.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm usually pretty good at picking out those who cannot be trusted right off the bat...drives my DH crazy because he is such a good man that he trusts everybody because he thinks everybody is like himm..an inherently good and ethical person.

I, on the other hand, am more cynical. I will usually be able to "intuit" that someone is a deceptive cheat, so I am on my guard around them. On the rare occasion that I miss it and they deceive me, I remove them from my life as much as possible and would never trust them again.

 

[Feralpeg]

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If a friend screws up, I try to help them out. That may be by showing them the error of their ways or just accepting that people make mistakes. I've had people tell me that I am naive and a doormat. I prefer to think of myself as tolerant. You have to be pretty deceitful to lose my friendship.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I couldn't vote in the poll either. There was no choice that fit me.

As far as I'm concerned, everyone I meet is trustworthy or friendworthy unless (and until) they themselves do something to give me pause in trusting or befriending them. If they betray my trust, then my reaction will range from just not trusting them but still being around them to completely cutting them out of my life. There is no one simple rule for everyone in my life.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I've been around long enough that I'm not easily deceived, but I'm always open to other views and opinions as long as I'm not expected to accept them without question. I like to get along with everyone, but someone who has gone out of their way to try to manipulate me has made a serious mistake...

None of the options really apply to me, but this is close...

 

[happygirl]

You have to earn my trust. It's not something I give out freely