What makes some people have a stronger will to overcome adversity?

[hereyago]

I have been pondering this lately.


What do you think gives some people a stronger will to overcome things whether it be sickness, personal loss than others?

 

[terri01p]

To me it's as simple as a deep desire within someone to want too.

 

[Robinrs]

I call these people "survivors". I don't think you're born with it, I think it takes many instances that you go thru adversity and make it thru that gives you the ability to make it thru the next one.

I remember watching my Dad, the oldest of 14 very close knit siblings, bury 5 of his sisters and brothers in less than one year. Every time he was stoic and able to get thru it with dignity. I asked him HOW and he told me "keep on living"...

You know what? I kept on living... and thru some of the most incredible diversities I've made it because of the one before it.

My son, who is only 16, has been thru more tragedies than people a fraction of his age and he has the ability to walk thru it unscathed because he knows he'll survive it. It give me peace because I'm sure he'll be able to handle those things I cannot protect him from in the future.

Life is full of adversity. We all learn resilience with every down time. I love the song "I Made it Through the Rain" for that reason. The line "and found myself respected by the others who got rained on, too, and made it through."

When someone's been thru it, you can look in their eyes and see that they understand and know. It's called empathy. And it's what allows others to know that they can do it, too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Alot of reasons.

Intelligence, support system (family, friends, God, etc.), motivation, desire, death, birth, money (lack of/hold on to), feel it is a calling/drawn to it, on the bucket list....

I could go on.

 

[doxdogy]

I honestly think it is just something deep down within the person. My mother never understood how I could get knocked down, pick myself up and brush myself off and keep going. She even asked my sister's therapist how I could do it. My father was a very strong person and I think I inherited that trait from him. Though I do admit his death knocked me for a loop and I am just know (over a year later)coming to grips with his passing.

 

[Shugardrawers]

A sense of self worth, a strong support system, in the case of long term medical issues, the comfort of knowing your family isn't going bankrupt keeping you alive for what may be very poor odds.

Depression often sets in with people under prolonged stressful conditions or poor health and that can lead to less of a desire stay the course. There is also the possibility with terminal patients that they have faced reality before the rest of their family has. They will discontinue treatment when they know instinctively the time has come, whereas their families frequently implore them to try this new thing or that vitamin they read about. It's not giving up, it's letting life take it's natural course.

 

[Micca]

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La -Da, life goes on...Hakuna Matata, etc. I've been very lucky, but when life has dealt a blow, I try to keep perspective and say one/both of the above.

 

[kilee]

Sometimes I think it's a lack of support system that makes someone strong too. I know I can get through pretty much anything, and have been at the lowest of lows in life. It's because there is nobody else outside of my dh who is going to pick me back up though. My parents are only there "when everything is sunny shine and roses" and I forget my sister. I have friends, but none that are super-super close.

 

[Feralpeg]

I believe a lot of it has to do with having someone or something to live for. While I might give up if it affected just myself, I would never give up if it meant dire consequences for those I love.

 

[Deb Quen of Colorado]

Sometimes I think it's a lack of support system that makes someone strong too. I know I can get through pretty much anything, and have been at the lowest of lows in life. It's because there is nobody else outside of my dh who is going to pick me back up though. My parents are only there "when everything is sunny shine and roses" and I forget my sister. I have friends, but none that are super-super close.

I totally agree with this! It's kinda the If I don't do it, no one else will feeling. I have also never felt it was a choice to break down or stop, just keep trudging through it all.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Well, I'm going to speak from personal experience. I think having faith in God helped me thru the tragedies in my life.

TC

 

[Kimickey]

Speaking personally, mine is my faith in God. I put him first and put my strength in Him. If I didn't I wouldn't make it

 

[WDWBarb]

I know some people who overcome adversity easier than others because of their faith.

Others find it easier because, as unfortunate as it is, they've had lots of practice. There's something about "when the worst happens" that makes you stronger.

 

[JerseyJanice]

There are some interesting answers worth reading on this thread, but I can't think of how to answer myself because I feel like it's too broad of a question.

Are we discussing overcoming a bad childhood to become a successful adult? Is this about bouncing back after a great loss or tragedy? Or overcoming the odds to achieve something that seems impossible?

I think each of those situations takes a different kind of strong will.

 

[Just Jan]

I have had two health crisises one at 27 and one a couple of years ago at at 43. I am a very optimistic person and even though the first was far more serious I think you just keep on keeping on.... and definately a great support system.
I definately would not have wanted to be in my mother's shoes. I think it was far worse on her than it was on me. Maybe I just buried my head in the sand and put one foot in front of the other. Does that make any sense at all?

 

[Planogirl]

How do you overcome adversity? You just keep moving forward because it's all you know how to do. It seems like giving up would be harder.

 

[minkydog]

I honestly think it is just something deep down within the person. My mother never understood how I could get knocked down, pick myself up and brush myself off and keep going. She even asked my sister's therapist how I could do it. My father was a very strong person and I think I inherited that trait from him. Though I do admit his death knocked me for a loop and I am just know (over a year later)coming to grips with his passing.

I agree. And sometimes we learn to survive by watching others close to us who have that same survivor spirit. My grandmother suffered her first bout of cancer when she was only 28 year old(uterine.) She went on to suffer 5 more bouts of cancer--breast, colon, and lung, with two relapses. At age 76 it finally killed her, but not after a fight to the finish. She weighed 71-lbs when she died in her own bed. It takes a survivor to do that.

I learned from the best. My family has faced several terrible occurances, not the least of which was the loss of a baby, the birth of a very handicapped child, suicidal depression, and the disabling of my husband at age 47. People often ask me how i do it. What's to tell? You keep on moving. You can't just sit there and take it. I credit my grandmother for that lesson in life.

 

[starrzone]

This is a very interesting subject to me. My mother's answer to overcoming hardships in life is to "buck up and get over it". My father and I, on the other hand, both suffer from depression and deal with things completely differently. My grandfather collapsed and died right in front of my father on their kitchen floor, when he was 51 and my father was 19; I'm sure my father didn't just "suck it up" and go on with his life.

I guess I don't really have a hard answer...I suppose that people who have a strong will to overcome adversity want to get over it; have the capability to get over it (depression can do strange things to that capability...); have a support system in place to help them, whether it be friends, family or community members; and have the desire to lok ahead to the future and realize that things will get better. Even if you know it will be hard, you have to belive things will get better, however long that might take. Otherwise, you're sunk.

 

[Tiggeroo]

A book just came out on this topic, I don't remember the name. But it talked about how the most gifted people aren't usually the most succesful. It is rather the most resiliant and lucky.
This topic is interesting to me. I grew up in a very disfunctional home, left home young and met with alot of adversities. Dh was the same, perhaps worst. There was a chunk of my life where I made alot of mistakes. I didn't duplicate the errors of my parents and provided a much more stable home for my children but I wish I had done many things differently. I just finished going back to school and we have worked very hard to strengthen our finances and undo some of the mistakes we made by being on our own so young. I believe my errors and rough beginning have made me a survivor. But I am envious of people who had difficult upbringings and many bad things happen and somehow became quite successful. I read the previews for the movie Precious and don't think I can go see it.

 

[Seewhatimesdone]

I would say the earlier you experience hardship in life, like when you're a kid, you learn how to deal with it. Or you just expect it to come naturally so you don't worry about it as much