What is with all the lying?

[dawn1620]

Is it only my eight year old that will spin a yarn a mile long and then deny it? The only good thing is she is really bad at lying and can't keep her story straight so it's easy to catch her doing it.

Today after I picked her up from school she said another classmate told her to run a lap around the field so she did and DD was upset about it. Both the after-school teacher and myself asked her why she did it when she didn't want to. DD did not really have an answer. I told her she did not have to do everything everyone tells her to do.

So during the five minute drive from school to home her story changed twice about why she was upset with this other little girl and I can't even remember what the whole thing is about now.

And now she is upset that I don't believe her...I told her "Honey it's hard to believe you when you have told three different versions of the same story in 10 minutes."

She does not make up hurtful lies about people or lie about really serious things..just everyday happenings like this. It is really starting to irritate me and I'm not sure the route I should go. She already loses any TV privilages and has early bedtime. The long talks about why she should not lie, ect just go in one ear and out the other.

Is is just this age this is a common occurance?

 

[AKL_Megs]

Sounds like an active imagination. I used to babysit an 8 year old who did the same thing.

She would make up stories about things her family did... always really interesting stories, totally unbelievable. Like, they did this and that neat thing on the weekends, and before I came over, they did this and that neat thing. Totally unbelievable. I would always just say, "Are you sure," and the story usually downgraded slightly.

 

[Acklander]

It's a child with an active imagination. Try to have her channel her imagination into writing stories. Maybe get her a notebook that's just for her stories????

 

[whogirl'smom]

Oh, no, I'm right there with you! Must be a 3rd grade girl thing. Little stuff about spats with friends, whether she actually go IN the shower or just turned on the water. Mine is a bad liar, too, thank goodness!

Ours culminated with a trip to the principal's office two weeks ago because she was saying someone hit her when they didn't (she was not in trouble, but he was questioning everyone. Bad day in the cafeteria). Hopefully that scared some of the lies out of her! We'll see...

 

[KristaTX]

I'm sorry . Do you discipline her in some manner when you catch her lying?

 

[SandrA9810]

Because exagerating the truth is better than dealing with what really happened. Or it seems to put her in a better light than the other person.

Same thing, when we're asked "how are you?", the answer is generally "fine" or "good"... a lot of times avoiding something is easier than dealing with it. (I mean when it's some one close to you that you shouldn't feel afraid to answer truthfully in front of.)

 

[paintnolish]

Wow...dd does the same thing! Sometimes they start out in truth and she ratchets things up with a little lie. Sometimes it is blatant but over something silly. I told her not to spray the airfreshener in the bathroom for no reason. I heard it spray, but she denied. Then, I went upstairs and could totally smell it, but she still denied it. Ugh!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My older son was that way. We had to make him write letters of apology to whom he lied or about whom he lied to break him of the habit. After embarrassing himself a few times with letters to his friends or their parents, it stopped...

 

[iwrbnd]

I read a book on child development and brain research. It had a whole chapter on lying. I won't go into all the details but I also had a liar and what the book said worked like a charm!

When you know they are lying say "It will make me happy if you tell the truth." Try it and see what happens. Don't say "You won't get in trouble if you tell the truth", that doesn't work and the research told why. Very interesting. The book was called Nurture Shock.

Good luck!

 

[terri01p]