Very long story short, my brother (40 yo, divorced, one kid grown) is a financial mess. He filed bankruptcy maybe 10 years ago and got back on track, then he was in an accident and spent 2 years with surgeries and rehab, on disability and racked up cc debt again. I bailed him out of that debt, he went back to work and was doing well, but then a year or two later I ended up giving him quite a bit more money for more debt. My DH and I are ok financially but not where we'd like to be in terms of savings goals, so sending him money is not the easiest thing for me to justify, and I feel so guilty asking my DH to help him (although they have a great relationship.)
Finally he has been staying out of debt, however, his basic bills do not leave much wiggle room in his budget, so anytime anything comes up, like car repairs, he is in the hole again. While he's not returned to credit cards, he's paying a fortune in NSF and late fees, and constantly in the negative. He is juggling things around every month, making double payments (to catch up on missed payments) on some things while neglecting others, to turn around and do the same thing with different bills the following months.
He is also completely clueless about how to manage money (and I mean the basics, like recording the checks you've written and truly understanding how much money is available... he thinks looking at the balance online is sufficient!), but he is living very frugally. I just looked at his bank statements and there is no going out to eat or other entertainment or shopping... in fact he only spent $111 the entire month on food/toiletries and such.
I have listed for him things he should cut, like the phone and direct tv, but that's about all he has that is even remotely a "luxury." He is looking for a new job to hopefully increase his pay or at least decrease his commuting costs, but who knows how long that will take?
Obviously, sending him more money will not solve anything. He needs someone to teach him how to manage what he has and he needs a more permanent fix, such as increasing his income. We are several hours away from each other, so sitting down with him in person to demonstrate how to maintain a checkbook will be very difficult.
The only thing I can think of is to start another checking account for him, something we both have access to, and deposit some money in it to give him a fresh start, while his current checking account sits and gets sorted out of this negative cycle. That way, I can look at the account daily and give him feedback, maybe I can check in with him daily and see what he is showing in his check register balance, etc. Then maybe I can help him catch mistakes before they get out of hand again?
Any other thoughts?? I would love an idea that did not require me putting out more money for him! If he did cancel the above (which would only free up about $200 a month) and we just worked on him getting out of the cycle himself, how long should that take? I just don't see how to do that while incurring the negative fees, but I've never been in this situation before... maybe it's not impossible?
Thank you so much for any ideas!!!
Finally he has been staying out of debt, however, his basic bills do not leave much wiggle room in his budget, so anytime anything comes up, like car repairs, he is in the hole again. While he's not returned to credit cards, he's paying a fortune in NSF and late fees, and constantly in the negative. He is juggling things around every month, making double payments (to catch up on missed payments) on some things while neglecting others, to turn around and do the same thing with different bills the following months.
He is also completely clueless about how to manage money (and I mean the basics, like recording the checks you've written and truly understanding how much money is available... he thinks looking at the balance online is sufficient!), but he is living very frugally. I just looked at his bank statements and there is no going out to eat or other entertainment or shopping... in fact he only spent $111 the entire month on food/toiletries and such.
I have listed for him things he should cut, like the phone and direct tv, but that's about all he has that is even remotely a "luxury." He is looking for a new job to hopefully increase his pay or at least decrease his commuting costs, but who knows how long that will take?
Obviously, sending him more money will not solve anything. He needs someone to teach him how to manage what he has and he needs a more permanent fix, such as increasing his income. We are several hours away from each other, so sitting down with him in person to demonstrate how to maintain a checkbook will be very difficult.
The only thing I can think of is to start another checking account for him, something we both have access to, and deposit some money in it to give him a fresh start, while his current checking account sits and gets sorted out of this negative cycle. That way, I can look at the account daily and give him feedback, maybe I can check in with him daily and see what he is showing in his check register balance, etc. Then maybe I can help him catch mistakes before they get out of hand again?
Any other thoughts?? I would love an idea that did not require me putting out more money for him! If he did cancel the above (which would only free up about $200 a month) and we just worked on him getting out of the cycle himself, how long should that take? I just don't see how to do that while incurring the negative fees, but I've never been in this situation before... maybe it's not impossible?
Thank you so much for any ideas!!!
