What is my Problem?

[louey]

Who else out there is real sad after sending their child off to college for the first time. We dropped her off last Wednesday, and I was fine until I walked to the car.... waterworks. Then when anyone asked me Thursday at work how it went I couldn't stop crying .. I cleaned her room already for when she comes home, washed her car put it in the garage for when she comes home. I am having a hard time adjusting, she sounds great and I don't let on how hard it is for me. I still cry some and still have a hard time talking about it to anyone. I hope it gets better soon, I know she is fine? I am a big whimp.

 

[Pop Daddy]

maybe she could bring you back some good drugs from the campus , shes gonna be fine, but you..?

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I can't say for certain, but I'll bet she's missing you horribly as well.

I missed my mom so badly when I went off to college...and even now 20+ years later I still want to see her or talk to her daily.

 

[Stew_Mouse]

That's not wimpy, it actually sounds very sweet. I can see how much you love and miss her....

 

[louey]

maybe she could bring you back some good drugs from the campus , shes gonna be fine, but you..?

What are you trying to do to me? I had to laugh your comment was funny

 

[ADisneygirl]

You don't have a problem -- it's called being a Mom. When I drove my daughter off to college (5 years ago) I cried like a baby all the way home -- 2 1/2 hours worth after dropping mine off at the dorm. It hurts. You know deep down that you have down a good job as a parent, your child is strong enough to spread their wings and fly off to new worlds/new challenges at college. You know that they still love you and need you. But it is an ache that sits in the pit of your stomach when you have to experience it firsthand. No matter how logically you explain it to yourself, you're going to feel it.

Go ahead and cry a bit Mom and know that you did a great job raising a productive member of society. Everything will be alright in the end.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

This is a major milestone for both of you, mom and daughter. It's going to take some time to adjust to such a big life change. Go easy on yourself. Maybe pamper yourself now with a manicure or pedicure. Focus on good things in your life now.

 

[minniecarousel]

ah, louey - you're normal!

First, my older DS left for a year, then he came home for a year - then both boys left at the same time - in those 2 years it didn't get much easier! They ended up graduating from the same college - a 3 hr drive from home, so they weren't too far away. I'd get teary-eyed every time they'd leave after a weekend at home!

It would be best for you to get busy with things at home. Start planning a "care package" to send to her. Is she far away? Will you see her at Thanksgiving? Knowing when you'll see her again will help. She is probably homesick, but doesn't want to let on. But she also has a lot of activities to get into. Keep in touch via E-mail & AIM.

Hang in there - it really does get easier - I promise!

 

[Froggyswife]

I only have 3 more years left till that day of nest leaving and I am dreading it! I will probably start a thread like this then.

Your not a whimp! You are a careing parent who loves thier child and misses them. I can't ease your pain but I can offer a and hope you feel better.

 

[Snowysmom]

You are definitely not a wimp. It is a major change for you and your DD. Just give yourself some time to adjust. Your DD will need that too. We just dropped off my younger DS at college and I was surprised that I didn't cry, but I did get teary eyed. When older DS went to college, I cried all over his T-shirt while hugging him good bye! I think this time it is because younger DS is only 25 minutes away. It is nice these days that you can e-mail your child or text message to stay in touch. It will get better.

 

[Mary Anne]

We dropped my son off today for the start of year two. I have to tell you, I almost lost it in Target when we stopped to get him a new fridge for his room. We had to pass the baby department and I saw the car seats and bouncers and let me tell you I swear it was only a few minutes ago I was picking those items up for him.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

It's sort of like a bittersweet moment. I expect to be having those same emotions this time next year. It's not so easy letting go.

 

[Hedy]

 

[louey]

Thanks to you all for your encouraging words, it helps alot. I know this is one of the first steps in her life towards her independence and I know this is the way it is suppose to be, and am very grateful that she is a smart, strong individual and going to college. I just can't get over that she is 18 already, where did the time go? We are going up to see her in a couple of weeks to take her to dinner , and I will look forward to when she comes home for a break.

 

[darlak]

BTDT twice and the second time was just as hard as the first. I figure the 3rd time with DD13 won't be any easier either. Just wait until the first time she calls you when she's sick, even if it's something as simple as a cold. Or, worse yet, crying over something.

I guess I'm not helping, huh? She'll be fine. You'll be fine. By Christmas break, I promise you'll be better.

 

[Tinkertude]

I feel ya Mama. When my dd went to OU I cried every time after she came home for the week end. After Christmas, I was down again. It wasn't better all spring. THEN she came home for the summer, needless to say after 2 weeks of her new sleep pattern ( make that no normal sleep pattern) I was saying When does the fall semester start? It does get easier. Just a new chapter in the book of Mom.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I just sent my son off for year 3. Its sad. But it is better than it was the first year. I thought my heart would break into a million peices. He is just over an hour away too. My youngest son is a senior in HS, so its coming again.

 

[tinkerbell615]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! It is called being a mom! My son is going to be starting his 4th year of college in September. He lives at home and drives to school every day. But... I will tell you, in the summer before school starts he is NEVER home. He has several friends that have apartments and houses and he is always staying with them. I might go a week without seeing him and just that drives me nuts. I am so glad that he is going to a close by college and staying at home to save money. If I had to drop him off somewhere, I bet I would cry for days. I would say that you are a wonderful mother and I am sure that your daughter misses you too. I am sure that it will get easier for you. You have raised her properly and she is doing what I am sure you have always dreamed she would do by going to college. Good luck to you and take care.

 

[Val]

You don't have a problem, you are acting NORMAL! My DD19 is a sophomore at Alfred University 12 hours away from us. When we took her last year I cried through THREE states nonstop (DH finally asked me to stop so I could help him drive back).

This year, all was fine. I wasn't going to cry, after all we had been there, done that. I went to say goodbye (DH took her) and started bawling. Cried all the way driving the other three to school. She flies home the 14th to judge a horse show, and its her littlest sister's Bday....hopefully I can show a little more restraint when she leaves again on the 16th! Funny thing is, talking to her on the phone I am just fine. After she hangs up I am a basket case for a good 20 minutes!

Good luck and God Bless all the moms and students on the DIS....."they" told us to hang on tight when the kids were born because they would be grown and gone in a heartbeat. Who'd have guessed that those older and wiser parents were right!!!

 

[louey]

I can't say for certain, but I'll bet she's missing you horribly as well.

I missed my mom so badly when I went off to college...and even now 20+ years later I still want to see her or talk to her daily.

Rafiki, I hope my daughter feels the same way when she is older about keeping in touch with me, so far she has called me everyday from school . I also talk with my mom almost everyday