What is a snowflake?

[bballmom56]

"Snowflake" is a derogatory term, pure and simple. What makes it worse is that it is applied by adults to children.

As applied to college students, they are NOT children. Except for a few that may still be 17, they are 18 yo adults that need to grow up, and learn independence, responsibility and respect.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I wasn't naming any specific poster here. I was merely pulling a few examples from my memory of a myriad of threads I've read here, as well as real life situations I've been told about, that demonstrate the "speshul snowflake" and "teacup" syndrome as well as the whole "goin mama bear" attitudes that I find so distasteful.

The idea that I'm picking on one particular poster wasn't implied nor should be inferred. My world does not revolve around the DIS or any one poster who happens to post here.

I did not assume it did. My post about the bus was the only one I have ever seen regarding something like that, though, and I wanted to clarify that I did NOT rage into the principal's office - didn't even tell her. I just think safety rules should be followed, especially when we're dealing with children.

 

[bballmom56]

Lovin' the blizzard simile!!!

 

[Magpie]

I've heard it around here (southern NJ). It seems to often be the case that those who most dislike the term are the ones who tend to have one, lol.[/QU I have a little game I like to play. I call it Find The Snowflake. When someone post their dislike for the term, sometimes I will take a look at their old posts. 9 times out 10, the posts show that they have a little Snowy.

Right... so basically anyone who objects to the term "snowflake" must have snowflakes?

"Snowflake" is a derogatory term, pure and simple. What makes it worse is that it is applied by adults to children.

That's very much how I feel.

And evidently that means there's a 90 percent chance my children must be snowflakes. Given my otherwise appallingly neglectful parenting, it's amazing they haven't melted yet.

 

[Carly_Roach]

You got to admit though, there have been some very, very special snowflakes described on here by their parents. In fact I have to say that I have seen some of the worst examples of the snowflake syndrome on here.

Me, too. But my real life examples kill me more.

Here's one: I work in a small town. This small town has a school right smack in the middle of it. If I don't leave early for work, I inevitably get caught behind a school bus that stops on every. single. corner. to pick up children in order to carry them...

....wait for it......

....five blocks to the school.

Five blocks is too much to walk to school now?

Our limit when I was in elementary school was a mile. I know because I grew up in a small town (pop. 3,000) and my best friend lived just under the mile marker. I lived in town, but I always waited for him to turn the corner (1/2 mile mark) and meet out front at my house before we'd walk to school together.

We did this from kindergarten until the 10th grade when I moved to a larger town. Always walking, never a parent around. Rain, snow, sleet or shine. Our fathers worked and our mothers were SAHM. Only one car per family so rides were few and far between.

So that's just one real-life example. I'm sure there have been other posts over the years on the boards about situations like this, but I'm not pulling from those posts. I'm pulling from real-life. My friend and I definitely grew up coffee cup children. Easily able to handle adversity (bullies were the most prevalent - and we did take a few beatings growing up), distinguish an adult preditor and how to stear clear of them, and aware of our surroundings at all times.

 

[Magpie]

As applied to college students, they are NOT children. Except for a few that may still be 17, they are 18 yo adults that need to grow up, and learn independence, responsibility and respect.

I'm a lot less bothered when it's used on adults. We have a phrase around here that my friend who is diagnosed OCD and depressive uses to describe herself. She says she's a "delicate flower that a gentle breeze would knock over." We all have our "delicate flower" moments (she just has more than most). When my children are being "delicate flowers", I tell them, "Suck it up, buttercup!" But I'm telling them that with affection and love.

It just puts my back up when people rag on kids, especially kids they don't know. A lot of people do it, and when they do it, it's not affectionate and it's not aimed at just the one kid in particular. It's aimed at the entire class of "kids these days", AKA "snowflakes".

 

[Liberty Belle]

Me, too. But my real life examples kill me more.

Here's one: I work in a small town. This small town has a school right smack in the middle of it. If I don't leave early for work, I inevitably get caught behind a school bus that stops on every. single. corner. to pick up children in order to carry them...

....wait for it......

....five blocks to the school.

Five blocks is too much to walk to school now?

Our limit when I was in elementary school was a mile. I know because I grew up in a small town (pop. 3,000) and my best friend lived just under the mile marker. I lived in town, but I always waited for him to turn the corner (1/2 mile mark) and meet out front at my house before we'd walk to school together.

We did this from kindergarten until the 10th grade when I moved to a larger town. Always walking, never a parent around. Rain, snow, sleet or shine. Our fathers worked and our mothers were SAHM. Only one car per family so rides were few and far between.

So that's just one real-life example. I'm sure there have been other posts over the years on the boards about situations like this, but I'm not pulling from those posts. I'm pulling from real-life. My friend and I definitely grew up coffee cup children. Easily able to handle adversity (bullies were the most prevalent - and we did take a few beatings growing up), distinguish an adult preditor and how to stear clear of them, and aware of our surroundings at all times.

I wouldn't let my child walk a mile to school as a kindergartener (especially if he had autism or other neurological impairment), but I don't think that makes me a helicopter parent or turns my child into a snow flake. I don't even think it makes me paranoid, though I'm sure you disagree.

 

[mhsjax]

Me, too. But my real life examples kill me more.

Here's one: I work in a small town. This small town has a school right smack in the middle of it. If I don't leave early for work, I inevitably get caught behind a school bus that stops on every. single. corner. to pick up children in order to carry them...

....wait for it......

....five blocks to the school.

Five blocks is too much to walk to school now?

Our limit when I was in elementary school was a mile. I know because I grew up in a small town (pop. 3,000) and my best friend lived just under the mile marker. I lived in town, but I always waited for him to turn the corner (1/2 mile mark) and meet out front at my house before we'd walk to school together.

We did this from kindergarten until the 10th grade when I moved to a larger town. Always walking, never a parent around. Rain, snow, sleet or shine. Our fathers worked and our mothers were SAHM. Only one car per family so rides were few and far between.

So that's just one real-life example. I'm sure there have been other posts over the years on the boards about situations like this, but I'm not pulling from those posts. I'm pulling from real-life. My friend and I definitely grew up coffee cup children. Easily able to handle adversity (bullies were the most prevalent - and we did take a few beatings growing up), distinguish an adult preditor and how to stear clear of them, and aware of our surroundings at all times.

Well maybe your community is raising snowflakes. Here if you live within a mile of school there is no bus service.

And where and when did you grow up that you only had one car. That is bazaar, everyone I knew growing up had SAHM and 2 cars. Does that make me a snowflake? Just curious. BTW, I walked and rode my bike over a mile to school even though we did have 2 cars.

I think that here on the Dis, using the word snowflake is very much like using too many curse words, and we all know what they say about people that do that, don't we.

 

[Magpie]

Me, too. But my real life examples kill me more.

Here's one: I work in a small town. This small town has a school right smack in the middle of it. If I don't leave early for work, I inevitably get caught behind a school bus that stops on every. single. corner. to pick up children in order to carry them...

....wait for it......

....five blocks to the school.

Five blocks is too much to walk to school now?

Our limit when I was in elementary school was a mile. I know because I grew up in a small town (pop. 3,000) and my best friend lived just under the mile marker. I lived in town, but I always waited for him to turn the corner (1/2 mile mark) and meet out front at my house before we'd walk to school together.

We did this from kindergarten until the 10th grade when I moved to a larger town. Always walking, never a parent around. Rain, snow, sleet or shine. Our fathers worked and our mothers were SAHM. Only one car per family so rides were few and far between.

So that's just one real-life example. I'm sure there have been other posts over the years on the boards about situations like this, but I'm not pulling from those posts. I'm pulling from real-life. My friend and I definitely grew up coffee cup children. Easily able to handle adversity (bullies were the most prevalent - and we did take a few beatings growing up), distinguish an adult preditor and how to stear clear of them, and aware of our surroundings at all times.

But the children aren't snowflakes in this example, are they?. The children aren't DEMANDING to be driven. It's simply the school policy.

The children could probably walk just fine. They'd probably enjoy it. But it's not their choice.

And BTW - having to take a school bus, while not good for their overall physical fitness, isn't likely to turn them into "snowflakes" either. For many kids, riding the school bus is like enduring a mini Lord of the Flies experience, every morning!

FWIW, my community doesn't bus children unless they live more than 2 kilometers away from the school. And there's no bussing at all for high school. Oh... and students can be required to walk almost up to a kilometer to their bus stop.

 

[mhsjax]

I wouldn't let my child walk a mile to school as a kindergartener (especially if he had autism or other neurological impairment), but I don't think that makes me a helicopter parent or turns my child into a snow flake. I don't even think it makes me paranoid, though I'm sure you disagree.

OH don't listen to these people. half of them don't know what they are talking about.

 

[swanmom]

I do think the terms can be overused. But there are times when they just fit.

I used to be a member of the admissions interview panel at a very selective NYC university. One day, as I grabbed a quick two minute break between interviews, I saw a mom and son in the waiting area. She was standing in front of her 18 year old son - straddling his knees as he sat in the chair - repeatedly 'spit combing' his hair! Hovering over him, arms in motion like that, she literally looked like the helicopter parent.


BTW, I didn't want to judge the kid based on his mom's behavior. But what worried me more was that he didn't make any protest or try to stop her, what 18 year old boy accepts that?

 

[SaraJayne]

I've heard it around here (southern NJ). It seems to often be the case that those who most dislike the term are the ones who tend to have one, lol.

Or were ones themselves.

It's a phrase that's been widely used for years in the real world...it isn't anything new on the Dis.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Well maybe your community is raising snowflakes. Here if you live within a mile of school there is no bus service.

And where and when did you grow up that you only had one car. That is bazaar, everyone I knew growing up had SAHM and 2 cars. Does that make me a snowflake? Just curious. BTW, I walked and rode my bike over a mile to school even though we did have 2 cars.

I think that here on the Dis, using the word snowflake is very much like using too many curse words, and we all know what they say about people that do that, don't we.

Not my community; I just work there. I live in the city. Not sure what kids do around here to get to school, I just know I'm not stopped by their buses nor do I see them waiting on corners for the bus.

I grew up in the 70's. Most of my friends had parents who only had one car. It was considered the norm. If a woman worked outside the home they might have two cars, but that was infrequent. DH went to school in the late 60's to early 70's. He walked to school too and his family only had one car up until the time his brothers started driving. Then they bought their cars with after-school jobs and fixed them up.

Anyone remember the term latchkey children? That was my generation. I remember some of my friends who'd go home to an empty house and cook up whatever Mom had left out for them. There was no calling your parents at work so they knew you got home; personal calls were frowned upon by the employer and could get that working mother fired.

Calling it bizarre when hearing of a family only having one car (which was the norm for the first 50 or so years of the automobile) could indicate a generational perception. Or it could be an indication of a snowflake's raising. After all, if it hasn't happened to you or it's not something you'd do or have heard of then it's just wrong, isn't kosher, or is totally whacked.

My friends, Exhibit B.

 

[NMAmy]

I'll disagree that both terms are widely used elsewhere. I read a million periodicals, journals and articles, and never heard the terms until I saw them being used on here. I did a search, and could not find those terms 'widely' used at all. Did find mention of them in a few parenting or psychology articles, but not that exact wording. Asked my teaching colleagues, and checked many of my Spec. Ed readings, and nothing there either.

Tiger

Try going to the Chronicle of Higher Education website and type in the phrase "helicopter parent." I got 95 articles.

Snowflake, teacups, and helicopters have been pretty standard terms in colleges and universities for several years now.

 

[mhsjax]

Not my community; I just work there. I live in the city. Not sure what kids do around here to get to school, I just know I'm not stopped by their buses nor do I see them waiting on corners for the bus.

I grew up in the 70's. Most of my friends had parents who only had one car. It was considered the norm. If a woman worked outside the home they might have two cars, but that was infrequent. DH went to school in the late 60's to early 70's. He walked to school too and his family only had one car up until the time his brothers started driving. Then they bought their cars with after-school jobs and fixed them up.

Anyone remember the term latchkey children? That was my generation. I remember some of my friends who'd go home to an empty house and cook up whatever Mom had left out for them. There was no calling your parents at work so they knew you got home; personal calls were frowned upon by the employer and could get that working mother fired.

Calling it bizarre when hearing of a family only having one car (which was the norm for the first 50 or so years of the automobile) could indicate a generational perception. Or it could be an indication of a snowflake's raising. After all, if it hasn't happened to you or it's not something you'd do or have heard of then it's just wrong, isn't kosher, or is totally whacked.

My friends, Exhibit B.

Lady, you have lost your every loving mind. Sorry if my parents could afford 2 cars. Guess what, they NEVER used them to take me to school, I walked. Cant' you read. They never involved themselves in what was going on at my school, as long as I brought home good grades, so be it.

Again, as I posted earlier to someone, most people here have no idea what they are talking about.

PS, I grew up int he 70's too.l Everyone I knew had 2 cars.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Just checking to see if I still have a signature.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I wouldn't let my child walk a mile to school as a kindergartener (especially if he had autism or other neurological impairment), but I don't think that makes me a helicopter parent or turns my child into a snow flake. I don't even think it makes me paranoid, though I'm sure you disagree.

You have to remember that when I was a child, having Autism or a neurological impairment was considered something to be embarassed about and hidden. Normal children walked to school and learned how to deal with life, so that's what I did from five years old through 18. I'm not saying it was easy and, at times, it was incredibly difficult. These were the days when a "personal attack" meant bloody noses and broken arms, not saying something that hurt someone's feelings.

But I learned how to avoid those kinds of bullies when I could, run when I couldn't avoid them, and take my beatings when I got caught. Frank McCourt put it best in his first chapter of Angela's Ashes:

It was, of course, a miserable childhood: the happy childhood is hardly worth your while.

 

[Megan_J]

Well maybe your community is raising snowflakes. Here if you live within a mile of school there is no bus service.

And where and when did you grow up that you only had one car. That is bazaar, everyone I knew growing up had SAHM and 2 cars. Does that make me a snowflake? Just curious. BTW, I walked and rode my bike over a mile to school even though we did have 2 cars.

I think that here on the Dis, using the word snowflake is very much like using too many curse words, and we all know what they say about people that do that, don't we.

My family didn't even have a car until I was a teen, so I must be from Mars.

EDIT: I grew up in the 70's too by the way.

 

[agnes!]

DD says that her peers are shocked to learn that she doesn't have her own car and actually (*gasp*) rides the bus home from school. One reason she doesn't have a car is that we made the decision as a family (mostly because of the insanely higher insurance) that we will not be getting her anything until she has had her full license for at least a year because then the rates go *way* down.

agnes!

 

[disneyjunkie]

And where and when did you grow up that you only had one car. That is bazaar, everyone I knew growing up had SAHM and 2 cars. Does that make me a snowflake? Just curious. BTW, I walked and rode my bike over a mile to school even though we did have 2 cars.
[/QU What in the world is bazaar about not having 2 cars??I'm 43. I grew up in Brooklyn. There weren't any SAHMs on our block. All of my friends (school and neighborhood) parents worked. A few families had 1 car. Most didn't own cars at all. We walked, rode the city bus or took the subway to school.