What is a "presentation" shower? MYSTERY SOLVED!

[Liberty Belle]

A registry was included so that if you were to go against the mothers wishes and bring an actual gift you would know what to buy. I do promise that "presentation" means to give money.

They say that in this link, also:

http://allaboutshowers.com/board/sh...r=14096&page=5&view=collapsed&sb=1&o=&fpart=1

 

[KristiKelly]

Ok, so I just checked out their Target registry and there is a lot of stuff on there. I'm so confused!

I might just ask her tonight. I bowl with her and after a couple of drinks, I'll just ask.

I just hope it is not a money shower and I don't let on how tacky I think that is...............

Subscribing to find out her answer.

 

[MrsPete]

I guess this is what they are hoping to avoid. Also, if the bride & groom are old enough to have lived on their own for a while, most people have the basic necessities.

DH and I had each lived on our own for enough years to have "the basics" when we married, but many of those "basics" were hand-me-downs from our parents' houses or thrift-store purchases. We loved our shower gifts -- things that were nice, new, matching, and useful! Could we have lived without them? Of course! We'd both made it though college without starving or freezing to death, but the gifts to make our first home nice were very much appreciated, and I still think today as I pull out a certain item, "So-and-so gave this to me." Money comes and goes and is forgotten.

Money at a shower is tacky. If you have to rely upon your wedding guests to pay your bills, you're not ready to be married! If it is a "money shower", I would conveniently be unable to attend.

 

[golfgal]

Oh I know...most of these "humourous" memories have been killed by registries But I like knowing I got them something they wanted. I rarely go to a shower now where someone has bought something that wasn't on the registry (which can sometimes make is a little boring because you saw it all when you were shopping for them). Giving money for a couple that needs it is fine- but them asking for it seems a little rude.

I know what you are saying. We heard horror stories about wedding gifts from my MIL, my mom, etc. Things they got that they still have no idea to this day what in the heck they are. We knew what every gift was .

 

[TheFlame]

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I would give them this as a gift...

 

[luvmy3]

Maybe they eloped and the bride and groom already got married. She is being "presented" as Mrs.XXX at the shower before the big, everyone's invited, wedding ceremony

 

[luvmy3]

A registry was included so that if you were to go against the mothers wishes and bring an actual gift you would know what to buy. I do promise that "presentation" means to give money.

Edited to add: Other "polite" ways people try to ask for money include: "wishing well" and "no boxed gifts." Sometimes there will be a "cute" poem about how they have everything they need but a withdrawal from your bank account would be appreciated. Sorry, I don't mean to be snarky but people who demand gifts and then include instructions on what is acceptable are huge pet peeve of mine.

ITA, there is no polite way to ask for money only as a gift.

 

[CSwan1]

 

[Nennie]

I *think* it might be one of those showers where you don't wrap the gift? All the gifts are displayed on a table instead of the bride opening them one by one?

I've heard of this, if it's what I think it is. Supposedly, the bride gets to spend more time chatting with her guests instead of just opening presents.

I've never been to a shower like that...I like things the old fashioned way, where we ooh and ahh over handmixers and flatware as they are opened! LOL!!

Please post an update when you find out!!!

 

[jordansmomma]

I wonder if we are supposed to "present" our gifts. I hope not. I might have plans that day.

I'm going to ask her tonight.

I'll give you all the answer tomorrow. Try not to lose too much sleep over it.

Well Sun I am going to be up all night anxiously awaiting the veridict!

 

[sunlover13]

I *think* it might be one of those showers where you don't wrap the gift? All the gifts are displayed on a table instead of the bride opening them one by one?

DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

I couldn't wait to get home and post this tonight since I didn't want you all to lose sleep over it!

I'm PROUD to say my friend was NOT asking for money at her bridal shower. No etiquette foul here.

She said a "presentation" shower is when you do not wrap the gifts, but just stick a bow on it or whatever. All the gifts are displayed so we don't have to spend hours upon hours watching her open all the gifts.

I LOVE this idea. There is nothing worse than sitting at a shower for 4 hours on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon waiting for all the gifts to be opened. I'm all for it!

I did mention the fact that no one is probably going to know what a presentation shower is so her sister should probably let people know when they RSVP. I also mentioned that I did google it and some said it was a $ shower. She laughed and said that would be nice though.

So, there you have it. I guess a "presentation" shower means different things to different people. Although, giving $ doesn't really fit with "presentation" so I'm not sure why they would call it that? It does fit with presenting the gifts, just unwrapped, I guess.

Like I said, I like the idea. I just think the hostess should have included a definition on the invite b/c obviously no one knows what a presentation shower is.

Watch, I'm going to be the only one who brings an unwrapped gift now.

 

[Ember]

Good for your friend for not being greedy and tacky!

"Presentation" is common in many European traditions and in a wedding context always means a gift of money. I managed to find out (thanks to this thread) that it's called this because traditionally the money was actually presented to the couple (specifically the husband) rather then left as a gift on the gift table or put into a card box.

I also found a source:

"In some parts of the country, it is a common practice to indicate a monetary gift through the word "Presentation" on the invitation. Presentation means a monetary gift that includes the per person cost of the wedding, and $20+ extra per person for the gift. Some people give more and some people give less, depending upon their means. As of 2008, it is common to give between $50 and $100 per person for presentation, depending upon where the wedding is held, and the guests financial situation. The envelopes are put into a basket or some other container on the table where the guest book is signed. Someone trustworthy then needs to be in charge of safeguarding the money during the reception.

Even though an invitation says Presentation, the guest always has the option of presenting a gift instead of money at the wedding reception. "

*source: http://www.mydreamwedding.ca/1032/h...e-want-money-not-gifts-ask-the-expert-answer/

Anyway, all of this aside, I'm very glad you got a straight answer and that it turned out to be a good one!!

 

[CookieDiva]

Well, you surely learn something new every day! (And since it's 12:10 am here, I've already met my quota for Friday. )

Thanks for letting us know exactly what a "presentation" shower is. I'm not quite sure what I think of it, but it since SonIL's brother is getting married soon, it will be a good topic for conversation!

 

[mamajoan]

gotta love the Dis.....

even my dh will say"ya know, just post it on the dis.... Somebody will know the answer!"

have fun at the shower!! presentation and all!

 

[mamamary]

I'm glad to finally know what it means. I also thought it meant money only. I bet lots of gifts will come wrapped though!!

 

[Stacerita]

Learn something new everyday.

 

[Imzadi]

Good to know what your friend really means. I do hope you got it through to her that she is using it is different from what other people may think it means. There may be some people who think it means simply giving money, get offended and not show up.

She probably heard the term somewhere and ascribed her own definition. Like, I used to think a "clutch player" was someone who always failed, got nervous and "clutched" under pressure, when, actually it means the opposite, a person who is able to perform beautifully especially under those immense pressures.

"Presentation" is common in many European traditions and in a wedding context always means a gift of money. I managed to find out (thanks to this thread) that it's called this because traditionally the money was actually presented to the couple (specifically the husband) rather then left as a gift on the gift table or put into a card box.

I also found a source:

"In some parts of the country, it is a common practice to indicate a monetary gift through the word "Presentation" on the invitation. Presentation means a monetary gift that includes the per person cost of the wedding, and $20+ extra per person for the gift. Some people give more and some people give less, depending upon their means. As of 2008, it is common to give between $50 and $100 per person for presentation, depending upon where the wedding is held, and the guests financial situation. The envelopes are put into a basket or some other container on the table where the guest book is signed. Someone trustworthy then needs to be in charge of safeguarding the money during the reception.

Even though an invitation says Presentation, the guest always has the option of presenting a gift instead of money at the wedding reception. "

I've actually seen this at a few weddings a company I used to work for catered. It was at more ethnic weddings. The mother of the bride or groom, or an aunt would walk around with a huge basket or a pillowcase. As she greeted guests, some of the older generation would place in an envelope, pre-written out to the bride & groom. So it wasn't like a sudden, tacky, asking for money on the spot. You could tell these people expected this custom as the envelopes were already prepared. The younger generation, peers of the bride & groom, would usually bring gifts.

I think this was even seen in My Big, Fat Greek Wedding, and/or The Godfather.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I think this is a great idea, especially if it is a big shower. I for one have been bored to tears watching hours of presents being unwrapped, fussed over, and passed around. Great idea!

I agree, the guests should be aware of this-it is definitely not a common way to do things, especially for the older guests. I guess that would be me, too, since I never heard of it before!

Glad there's one less money grubbing bride in the world!! Have fun!

 

[rabx5]

I think this is a great idea, especially if it is a big shower. I for one have been bored to tears watching hours of presents being unwrapped, fussed over, and passed around. Great idea!
I agree, the guests should be aware of this-it is definitely not a common way to do things, especially for the older guests. I guess that would be me, too, since I never heard of it before!

Glad there's one less money grubbing bride in the world!! Have fun!

I completely agree. Plus, you don't have to spend extra $$ on the wrapping paper and it's not wasting paper making it a "green" shower as well