What is a "family"?

[katerkat]

Just a question and a vent - what do you think a "family" is? In a discussion with DH, he informed me that WE are not a family; we are a married couple. We will become a "family" when we have kids. (The real kind, apparently, not the furry ones.) I disagree - I think a married couple is a family, too!

 

[minniecarousel]

I agree with you - you're a family. Heck, I believe that close friends can constitute a "family" so I embrace a more global use of the word. But I gotta believe that most people would say that a married couple is a family. Of course, you also have "his" family and your "family". We had my in-laws over the other evening, and I referred to them as his family when talking about it. We get together with "my" family for every holiday and many birthdays.

 

[Hercules10]

NOUN:
1. One's ancestors or their character or one's ancestral derivation: ancestry, birth, blood, bloodline, descent, extraction, genealogy, line, lineage, origin, parentage, pedigree, seed, stock. See KIN, PRECEDE.
2. A group of people sharing common ancestry: clan, house, kindred, lineage, stock, tribe. Idioms: flesh and blood, kith and kin. See KIN.
3. A group of usually related people living together as a unit: house, household, ménage. See GROUP.
4. One's relatives collectively: kin, kindred, kinfolk. See KIN.

ADJECTIVE: Of or relating to the family or household: domestic, familial, home, homely, household. See KIN, GROUP.

Doesn't define a number of people. So 2 people can be a family.

 

[Keli]

Although I would never disagree with someone that thought of a married couple as a 'family' I will have to tell you that I felt just like your dh does when I was in that position. I did not feel like Dave and I were a 'family' until we had our dd. Until then I just felt like we were a married couple. My dh felt the same way too.

 

[olena]

We have no kids or pets, but we're definitely a family.....

 

[eeyore74]

DH, the dog, and I are a family. Even without the dog, we'd be a family. Family is those you love.

 

[Rajah]

I think there are multiple levels of "family".

Any people who are related by blood, marriage or adoption are family, IMHO. That can even extend to people (and animals -- I consider fur-family to be family too) who simply share their home with someone and takes them into their traditions, setting, and "support".

But at the same time, there's the more abstract "family", which is the close-knit community of your friends (and blood/marriage/etc family) and those whom you trust and can count on. I have 3 friends who I love like sisters, and 2 who I love like brothers and I consider them to be "family" in the more abstract fashion. Then there are my "online family" who I may not have met in person and may never meet in person, but who are very important to me.

Clear as mud? LOL!

 

[alabamaalan]

If we are using the term for nuclear family and not those friends you are close to, etc...

I still say a childless couple is a family. In fact, DW and I were taking classes at church on child rearing when we began to discuss having children.

Every text we used emphasized the fact that we were a "family" whether or not we had kids in an effort to help us remember that our children do not define us. We have our own relationship with each other that is important and the basis for the relationship to our children.

 

[nativetxn]

I think a married couple can be a family. I never felt like we were a "family" before Travis was born but that's just me

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

We don't have children but we, DH & I, are both part of each others families, our blood relatives.

I personally don't class friends as family but can see why others might.

 

[caitycaity]

dh and i are definately family and we are childless so far. we both consider the two of us being married to equal our family.

 

[Phrebert]

This is my family. Its small, broken, but good.

A family is what you make it. We have no kids, 5 cats 4 dogs.

 

[TerriP]

This is a little off topic, but interesting, I think.

I was watching a debate on TV the other day over the issue of gay marriage. One person stated that unless they have children, a man and a woman are not technically "married". She said they only have a civil union unless they procreate!

Gotta say, not only do I consider DH and myself married...I consider the two of us a family. Until this week, I had no idea the opinions on this could be so varied!

 

[kilee]

Dh & I are family. We have no children together, nor will we ever. But I consider him my immediate family. The Family medical leave act consider's him my family too!!

Now, I have an 11yr old from a previous relationship (we dated a LONG time, but were never married). I've never considered them my family. But sometimes I think they consider my husband now and I family.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by TerriP
This is a little off topic, but interesting, I think.

I was watching a debate on TV the other day over the issue of gay marriage. One person stated that unless they have children, a man and a woman are not technically "married". She said they only have a civil union unless they procreate!

Gotta say, not only do I consider DH and myself married...I consider the two of us a family. Until this week, I had no idea the opinions on this could be so varied!

I don't think that's an opinion; I think that person is just WRONG. Now somebody go quote the dictionary definition of marry. I'm pretty sure it just has to do with commitment (you can also be married to your job or your location, I believe).

I am single with 4 pets and I call them my family. We all live together in one house, and I'm committed to them for life. I think "family" implies a permanent bond. I can see both opinions on the married couple w/no kids issue. When you're married, you assume that you have a permanent bond. In reality, if you were to get divorced, you would no longer have anything bonding you together unless you two had a kid. So... I have no opinion as to whether a married couple with no kids is a family. But they are definitely married!

 

[Kimberle]

According to BARNEY:

A family is people,
and a family is love
and that's just fine with me....
they come all different sizes
and mine's just right for me....
yes.... mines just right for me!!!!!!!

 

[r3ngels]

I think you are a family... after all when you are married you have to put up with in-laws... thats proof huh?!?

 

[kayeandjim00]

DH and I have no children and are most definitely a family. I have never thought of us any other way.