What happened to reasonable on the angel trees this year?

[gator75]

I can't speak for all parts of the US , but where i'm from the requests on the angel trees are outrageous. I took my 14 year old ds thinking that i was going to teach him what it meant to give to someone that couldn't afford a christmas well.. that thought quickly changed when we saw that these kids felt that they could ask for the moon and receive it. I mean come on they wanted xboxes ,i pod touches gift certificates to the best stores in town. I'm sorry i refuse to provide a child i don't know with these kind of lavish gifts , and it wasn't as though we looked at just one tree we went to several and they where all the same. dh looked and just about fainted and managed to utter a very audible no.

I know there are alot of families down on there luck this year and the kids want to be like the others , but at the very least they should be reasonable.

and feel free to flame because i put on my best flame suit on when i posted this.

 

[bicker]

We saw requests for gift certificates to Wet Seal and Gamestop.

 

[libraryfreak]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

 

[golfgal]

I can't speak for all parts of the US , but where i'm from the requests on the angel trees are outrageous. I took my 14 year old ds thinking that i was going to teach him what it meant to give to someone that couldn't afford a christmas well.. that thought quickly changed when we saw that these kids felt that they could ask for the moon and receive it. I mean come on they wanted xboxes ,i pod touches gift certificates to the best stores in town. I'm sorry i refuse to provide a child i don't know with these kind of lavish gifts , and it wasn't as though we looked at just one tree we went to several and they where all the same. dh looked and just about fainted and managed to utter a very audible no.

I know there are alot of families down on there luck this year and the kids want to be like the others , but at the very least they should be reasonable.

and feel free to flame because i put on my best flame suit on when i posted this.

Well, Merry Christmas . That's the spirit. What if your child only got one present this year, what would he get??

 

[luvsJack]

I got our angel from jcpenney.com. I put in the options of whichever age group included 12 year olds and a girl. Several came up in this area and they all asked for a variety of things. One did specify an x-box and a couple said MP3 players but mostly they have asked for clothes, straighting irons and make up anda basketball. So the ones on our list seemed more than reasonable and pretty much in line with other kids their age.

I also noticed that it stated in the FAQ that the "angel" you get might not be a real person, sometimes they fill out the cards to fit what most kids would want in the that age group. That might explain so many big gifts being asked for.

Some people that pick a angel may not have family to buy for and may be able to afford such gifts. The angel kids aren't asking for anything other kids their age aren't begging for this year.

OP, what do you consider reasonable?

 

[msmayor]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

So that means teens don't deserve to find a gift under the three for them at Christmas?

Our own kids ask for "the moon", why can't others?? Just because they find themselves in a situation where the family can't afford Christmas gifts this year doesn't mean they only deserve socks and underwear or "practical" gifts.

We are all just one catastrophe away from the poverty line, which doesn't mean homeless with nothing at all. Folks in dire straits HAVE TVs which can accommodate an XBox, but no means to purchase it. If someone is so inclined to grant a child's wish for one I think its marvelous.

As for gift cards to expensive stores...how many of us went through our teen years feeling inadequate because we didn't have the 'right' clothes on? These kids come from families who can't afford them, and if a child wants to wish to have a sweatshirt they can wear every day to "belong", I say there's nothing wrong with that.

No one is forcing you to purchase what you believe is a lavish gift. But please don't begrudge a child their wish because you think its wrong of them to ask.

 

[golfgal]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

So, just because their families are poor they don't deserve a Christmas present??

 

[agnes!]

As I've seen from other threads here on the CB - like the 'I give up/$25 gift certificate' thread - *sometimes* Christmas seems to not be about the joy of the Season but rather about the Benjamins, (in that case from the gift-receiver).

And yes, I get that kids just want what everyone else seems to be getting, but I know my mother doesn't do the Angel Trees any more because for her the gift-asking was getting so over the top. YMMV, I really do not begrudge any child their special Christmas Wishes but I might not be able to grant that Angel and have to put it back on the Tree.

agnes!

 

[dejr_8]

I can't speak for all parts of the US , but where i'm from the requests on the angel trees are outrageous. I took my 14 year old ds thinking that i was going to teach him what it meant to give to someone that couldn't afford a christmas well.. that thought quickly changed when we saw that these kids felt that they could ask for the moon and receive it. I mean come on they wanted xboxes ,i pod touches gift certificates to the best stores in town. I'm sorry i refuse to provide a child i don't know with these kind of lavish gifts , and it wasn't as though we looked at just one tree we went to several and they where all the same. dh looked and just about fainted and managed to utter a very audible no.

I know there are alot of families down on there luck this year and the kids want to be like the others , but at the very least they should be reasonable.

and feel free to flame because i put on my best flame suit on when i posted this.

In a nutshell isn't this the problem in America right now? Our definition of poverty as compared to poverty in the rest of the world is obscene. We have so many luxuries items that are considered necessities. We have so many "wants" that are considered "needs".

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

Most kids in your neighborhood likely can. A lot of kids live in neighborhoods where no one has spare money to spend on giving teens small jobs. Old relatives take care of younger kids, there aren't any lawns to speak of, or that's not something any would pay someone else to do, and the same for shovelling snow.

If you feel so strongly about this, why not look around and see if there are any jobs at your house you'd be willing to pay the going rate - not below- in your neighborhood to get done and post it on Craig's List. There are a lot of out of work parents who would probably love the opportunity to earn extra money, much less teens.

 

[gator75]

Like i said let me have it. The point is that yes every child has the right to a gift ,but all i'm saying is that they want gifts that cost well over 100.00 at least where i'm at there is nothing they want under that on alot of the trees. and i'm sorry i'm not about to buy an xbox for a child i don't know or the newest i pod touch plus acessories. kids have the same wants as others that can afford it i get that , but what i'm also saying is that they should expand their requests so that it covers all areas of the financial spectrum.

 

[luvsJack]

Every angel tree card I have seen and the ones online have all stated "needs" as well as "wants" so there is no misunderstanding there. Clothes sizes and things like back packs or school supplies are on the "need" side and games, toys, make-up, etc. on the "want" side.

If you can't get one angel the things listed on his/her card, just pick another. What is so hard?

How many of us have had to explain to our own kids that we can't afford xxxxx this year and we get them something else? Same thing. You can't afford what this angel wants so you let someone else pick that one and you get another. I find it very hard to believe that EVERY angel on the tree was asking for something you couldn't afford. If that was the case, pick a younger child. Toddlers and babies can't ask for X-boxes.

As for the remarkfrom the pp about teens--are you not going to get your own teens gifts? I tend to want to pick the teens in these kinds of things, because they are so many times the ones that are forgotten in all this. I think its great someone is doing a "toys for teens".

 

[scrapquitler]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

So just because they 'could' get a job (debatable, in this economy), they shouldn't get to have a little bit of Christmas Magic?

 

[allison443]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

I guess that's true where you live...but in many urban areas there are no lawns to mow, snow shoveling is handled by the municipality or building staff, and in an economically depressed area people aren't hiring babysitters to go out on the weekends. "Teens" doesn't necessarily mean a 19 year old, it could be a 13 year old seventh grader.

 

[tchrrx]

I have two problems with the Angel Tree:

1. The clothing sizes are not very clear. We chose a pre-teen girl. The sizes could have been either children's or junior's. So, I asked several salespeople for help and they all agreed that it could go either way. I finally just bought the kid sizes and put a note on the bag that it may not be right, but hopefully they could give the clothes to a different child if my sizes were wrong.

2. I wish you could adopt a family instead of one child. I usually buy 2-3 outfits, p.j.'s, a coat, and several toys/gifts for my angel. I would hate to have his/her siblings only get a couple of gifts.


All that being said, my DD10 picked out our angel. I gave her a budget and yesterday she bought quite a few things and spent time shopping for items on sale. Also, when I was content to do things like buy a hoodie, she insisted on buying a full winter coat so that her angel would stay warm. Our angel mainly wanted items to decorate her room, so that's what we did instead of toys. However, she also wanted a Project Runway gift, which we didn't buy. I did, however, have one already wrapped in the attic for DD. I told her that I had a toy the angel would like, but I wouldn't tell her which toy. I just told her to tell me 'yes' or 'no' as to whether or not she wanted to give it away. When, I pulled it out, she said, "Oh. I really wanted this. Oh well, I'll get other things to play with and she probably doesn't have toys." Then, she added it to the bag. She literally skipped into the delivery site saying, "This is so much fun!" and, she wanted to grab another angel and start again (I had to tell her it wasn't in budget this year).

So...if you have problems with the Angel Tree's wants vs. needs, choose a different angel. Or, take a child who has a lot with you and find the true meaning of Christmas through their eyes.


p.s. DD was in and out of foster homes for the first 4 years of her life. She used to be someone's 'angel' and now that she is forever mine, I am blessed to learn compassion from her.

 

[allison443]

I can't speak for all parts of the US , but where i'm from the requests on the angel trees are outrageous. I took my 14 year old ds thinking that i was going to teach him what it meant to give to someone that couldn't afford a christmas well.. that thought quickly changed when we saw that these kids felt that they could ask for the moon and receive it. I mean come on they wanted xboxes ,i pod touches gift certificates to the best stores in town. I'm sorry i refuse to provide a child i don't know with these kind of lavish gifts , and it wasn't as though we looked at just one tree we went to several and they where all the same. dh looked and just about fainted and managed to utter a very audible no.

I know there are alot of families down on there luck this year and the kids want to be like the others , but at the very least they should be reasonable.

and feel free to flame because i put on my best flame suit on when i posted this.

OP you said you went to several angel trees...where are these trees? The only one I see is at my church and I wouldn't go to other churches to see if they have one. Are they at stores, etc?

 

[agnes!]

I've seen Angel Trees at malls in the past but understand that now many malls don't 'do' them any more and that is one reason why JCPenney is a sponsor.

agnes!

 

[Keli]

This year the salvation army sent my employer a notice that they will not accept applications for the angel tree for children 13 years old and up because they cannot fulfill those requests. (I work with a lot of population that applys to these programs and we refer a lot of folks so they were giving us a heads up)
I don't know if that is an across the board decision or just locally.
I will tell you that I know of at least four other organizations in our area that also take applications and give gifts to children (at least one buys for whole families). The people we work with apply with all the organizations and if they meet the income requirements then those children have large christmas' because they are getting several gifts from each one. I sometimes think it would be better for everyone to work together and instead of each young child being flooded with gifts for there to be a limit in the gifts they receive from all the organizations. Then those organizations would have the money for some older kids to receive a single larger gift too.

 

[Angelhalo]

The problem that I have with the Angel Tree these days is that SOOOO many of them are frauds. You never know whether that kid actually needs toys or if they are just another family scamming the system. I watched a report last year on how high the scam rate is on the Angel Tree. So many families requesting ridiculous items when they have plenty of money, or they just want to take your item and sell it for alcohol or drugs. I KNOW that there are still lots of real deserving kids on the Angel Tree, but I just can't bring myself to do it anymore. Now I contribute to a local family each year that I know, or I volunteer my time at a rescue mission, or donate baby items to Crisis Pregnancy Ministry etc. My favorites are a local family and Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes. I volunteered with Samaritan's Purse working on the whole shoebox system one year and it was just awe inspiring.

 

[allison443]

I have two problems with the Angel Tree:

1. The clothing sizes are not very clear. We chose a pre-teen girl. The sizes could have been either children's or junior's. So, I asked several salespeople for help and they all agreed that it could go either way. I finally just bought the kid sizes and put a note on the bag that it may not be right, but hopefully they could give the clothes to a different child if my sizes were wrong.

2. I wish you could adopt a family instead of one child. I usually buy 2-3 outfits, p.j.'s, a coat, and several toys/gifts for my angel. I would hate to have his/her siblings only get a couple of gifts.


All that being said, my DD10 picked out our angel. I gave her a budget and yesterday she bought quite a few things and spent time shopping for items on sale. Also, when I was content to do things like buy a hoodie, she insisted on buying a full winter coat so that her angel would stay warm. Our angel mainly wanted items to decorate her room, so that's what we did instead of toys. However, she also wanted a Project Runway gift, which we didn't buy. I did, however, have one already wrapped in the attic for DD. I told her that I had a toy the angel would like, but I wouldn't tell her which toy. I just told her to tell me 'yes' or 'no' as to whether or not she wanted to give it away. When, I pulled it out, she said, "Oh. I really wanted this. Oh well, I'll get other things to play with and she probably doesn't have toys." Then, she added it to the bag. She literally skipped into the delivery site saying, "This is so much fun!" and, she wanted to grab another angel and start again (I had to tell her it wasn't in budget this year).

So...if you have problems with the Angel Tree's wants vs. needs, choose a different angel. Or, take a child who has a lot with you and find the true meaning of Christmas through their eyes.


p.s. DD was in and out of foster homes for the first 4 years of her life. She used to be someone's 'angel' and now that she is forever mine, I am blessed to learn compassion from her.

What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing!! Your dd has learned the true meaning of Christmas!