What happened to reasonable on the angel trees this year?

[hucifer]

Like i said let me have it. The point is that yes every child has the right to a gift ,but all i'm saying is that they want gifts that cost well over 100.00 at least where i'm at there is nothing they want under that on alot of the trees. and i'm sorry i'm not about to buy an xbox for a child i don't know or the newest i pod touch plus acessories. kids have the same wants as others that can afford it i get that , but what i'm also saying is that they should expand their requests so that it covers all areas of the financial spectrum.

No flames here. I think those requests are ridiculous and would definitely pass on them too. I would think that if a child is TRULY in need, they would request a more reasonable gift.

 

[mhsjax]

No flames here. I think those requests are ridiculous and would definitely pass on them too. I would think that if a child is TRULY in need, they would request a more reasonable gift.

They are kids. Reasonable isn't in their vocab yet. If you don't want to participate than don't. But don't sit there and act like they should be grateful for anything that someone decides to give them. THEY ARE KIDS. Yes there are things that they need, but in a child's eyes Christmas is for fun nor for needs.

 

[tasha99]

No flames here. I think those requests are ridiculous and would definitely pass on them too. I would think that if a child is TRULY in need, they would request a more reasonable gift.

Their parents would, but a child who is poor wants the same kinds of things their peers want.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I understand why you might feel it's excessive, but these kids don't know. They're asked to state what they'd like and they do. And kids want what everyone else their age has. Don't you remember what that was like?

 

[GinnyEmma]

Their parents would, but a child who is poor wants the same kinds of things their peers want.

Poor kids aren't allowed to wish. Our angel tree had things for all budgets. We picked a teen boy because most people only want to give to little kids or girls. He wanted jeans, a cd player, and a few toiletry items. We got him a generic mp3 player, and printed out some ways to get music, a cd player with the little hook up, axe stuff, and some random things like graphic t's, socks, a screaming flying monkey.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I can't speak for all parts of the US , but where i'm from the requests on the angel trees are outrageous. I took my 14 year old ds thinking that i was going to teach him what it meant to give to someone that couldn't afford a christmas well.. that thought quickly changed when we saw that these kids felt that they could ask for the moon and receive it. I mean come on they wanted xboxes ,i pod touches gift certificates to the best stores in town. I'm sorry i refuse to provide a child i don't know with these kind of lavish gifts , and it wasn't as though we looked at just one tree we went to several and they where all the same. dh looked and just about fainted and managed to utter a very audible no.

I know there are alot of families down on there luck this year and the kids want to be like the others , but at the very least they should be reasonable.

and feel free to flame because i put on my best flame suit on when i posted this.

They're just kids and they are hoping for Christmas miracles for themselves, too. Plus I think they don't really understand that even people who are "rich" can be struggling and not have tons of money to throw around.

But, I know how you feel. I also wish you could do a partial angel. Even if one is asking for a coat, boots, gloves, and a small toy, it would be nice to just get the coat, cross it out and put it back. I feel bad taking the tag if I cannot provide everything the child needs - maybe someone else could.

 

[RitaE]

I've gotten away from many of those charities, they just don't feel right to me anymore. There has just been so many reports of fraud and misuse that I don't trust even the big names like the Salvation Army to properly control the system.

And it isn't even that I think it is unreasonable for a 12 year old to want a high price electronic toy. I just think that the requests price many people who want to donate right out of the game. I simply can't pick two names off the tree and spend $300 on each of them. So I have to find some charity that can make good use of the money that I can afford to give.

This year I donated to a local agency that services disabled adults and a Nursing Home.

And don't even get me started on trying to find a good home for my kid's old winter coats. I was turned down by two places this year for a used but in excellent condition Boy's Northface Winter Coat with matching hat and gloves because "poor children deserve new coats too." Seriously. Absolutely nothing wrong with it except the sleeves don't come down to my kid's wrist anymore. If it fit him, my kid would have been wearing that "old and unacceptable" item, I can tell you that.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I have two problems with the Angel Tree:

1. The clothing sizes are not very clear. We chose a pre-teen girl. The sizes could have been either children's or junior's. So, I asked several salespeople for help and they all agreed that it could go either way. I finally just bought the kid sizes and put a note on the bag that it may not be right, but hopefully they could give the clothes to a different child if my sizes were wrong.

2. I wish you could adopt a family instead of one child. I usually buy 2-3 outfits, p.j.'s, a coat, and several toys/gifts for my angel. I would hate to have his/her siblings only get a couple of gifts.


All that being said, my DD10 picked out our angel. I gave her a budget and yesterday she bought quite a few things and spent time shopping for items on sale. Also, when I was content to do things like buy a hoodie, she insisted on buying a full winter coat so that her angel would stay warm. Our angel mainly wanted items to decorate her room, so that's what we did instead of toys. However, she also wanted a Project Runway gift, which we didn't buy. I did, however, have one already wrapped in the attic for DD. I told her that I had a toy the angel would like, but I wouldn't tell her which toy. I just told her to tell me 'yes' or 'no' as to whether or not she wanted to give it away. When, I pulled it out, she said, "Oh. I really wanted this. Oh well, I'll get other things to play with and she probably doesn't have toys." Then, she added it to the bag. She literally skipped into the delivery site saying, "This is so much fun!" and, she wanted to grab another angel and start again (I had to tell her it wasn't in budget this year).

So...if you have problems with the Angel Tree's wants vs. needs, choose a different angel. Or, take a child who has a lot with you and find the true meaning of Christmas through their eyes.


p.s. DD was in and out of foster homes for the first 4 years of her life. She used to be someone's 'angel' and now that she is forever mine, I am blessed to learn compassion from her.

This made me teary. I'm so happy you're able to give so much. God bless you and your daughter.

 

[Jennasis]

Good to know that poor kids or teens are not allowed to wish and hope.

Merry freakin' Christmas.

 

[Holly]

They are kids. Reasonable isn't in their vocab yet. If you don't want to participate than don't. But don't sit there and act like they should be grateful for anything that someone decides to give them. THEY ARE KIDS. Yes there are things that they need, but in a child's eyes Christmas is for fun nor for needs.

Some people don't feel as good about themselves for helping if they can't have Tiny Tim dressed in rags and playing with sticks in their mind's eye.


I help with an Angel Tree-like event in my area. We starting asking that the requests be for things under $25 two years ago. This wasn't for any other reason than because of the economy we started getting many more families in need.

We also verify income so there's no abuse of our program.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We helped 4 children in need this year, all from our local community. We do not know their names, but their requests were for clothes and toys like "baby doll" (6 yr old grl). We did not have any requests for electronics or anything of that nature.

That said, it is hard to shop for girls (all 4 were girls) when you have none (we only have boys). We had their sizes, but sizes don't tell us if the child is skinny or fat or normal sized. So many clothes for girls are cut very slim. If we buy that and the girl is chunky, it will be a waste.

We got the help of some very nice 12 yo girls in one store. They helped us for over an hour pick out outfits for our 11 yo "angel". Another group of girls helped us pick out toys for little girls. So thankful...

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Best Buy had "Toys for Teens," I had to roll my eyes. I think most teens are able to get a job, even if it's babysitting, mowing lawns, shoveling snow.

I have a job and I expect to get Christmas presents under the tree. I didn't realize working exempted you from a Christmas gift

The Marines who run Toys for Tots frequently will come on the radio and request gifts for older kids because most people who donate think of little kids and forget the tweens and teens (probably because of the name 'Toys for Tots', but they said they donate to everyone).

I honestly don't understand people's attitudes. Who is holding a gun to your head and telling you to buy the $100 item? If you can't do the angel tree gift, donate to something else. It's not that difficult. Are you just hoping for a fight? I don't get it.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I have a job and I expect to get Christmas presents under the tree. I didn't realize working exempted you from a Christmas gift

The Marines who run Toys for Tots frequently will come on the radio and request gifts for older kids because most people who donate think of little kids and forget the tweens and teens (probably because of the name 'Toys for Tots', but they said they donate to everyone).

I honestly don't understand people's attitudes. Who is holding a gun to your head and telling you to buy the $100 item? If you can't do the angel tree gift, donate to something else. It's not that difficult. Are you just hoping for a fight? I don't get it.

I don't know if anyone on this thread thinks this way, but I know some people act like the poor need to be put in their place. How dare they ask for something any "normal" child wants. They must not truly be needy or poor if they're not asking for our leftovers and mended clothing.

Unfortunately, I know a couple people who think this way. I find it disgusting.

 

[Andtototoo]

I used to work in a church which had done Angel trees for many years and stopped because the requests had gotten so OTT, we never received one word of thanks, but did receive a lot of complaints.

The next to last year we did it was for a family of 11 with a 10th baby on the way -- every request was OTT including $300 sneakers and gaming systems and electric guitars, plus all the fixings for a Christmas feast. We actually fulfilled every request and did not receive one word of thanks.

The last straw was the year our tree had 50+ requests on it from the Dept Human Services. All requests were fulfilled. Several parents of the kids on the tree showed up at the church after Christmas to ask if they could exchange the gifts for money or to complain they didn't like the color of the winter jacket or to complain that the child had changed their mind and didn't like the gift they'd requested and could they have the receipt to exchange it for something else.

The entitlement attitude in our culture is what is really OTT.

 

[Grandmouse]

I have to agree somewhat with the OP. I have been doing this for years -- until last year when all the "wish lists" seem to be the same. The store I picked mine from focused on senior citizens and because I no longer had my parents to buy for I really enjoyed doing this. It lost individuality and each and everyone wanted a blanket, candy and socks. This year, a national organization is sponsoring the tree and all the tags seem to be computer generated and not clear as to boy or girl, sizes, etc. What they are asking for other than clothing I can no longer afford.

 

[RitaE]

I guess my question is this - you go into JcPenney's and pick a tag off the tree and it lists

Nintendo Dsi
a couple of video games
coat
gloves
hat
and then an outfit

And the last one I looked at all the tags were like that ... one outfit, winter clothing, and a fairly expensive toy list. I saw American Girl dolls with outfits, XBoxes, Video Games ...I looked through probably 5 or 6 tags and they all seemed to be over a $300 commitment if you picked it up.

So what are you supposed to do? Spend double what you planned even though you can't afford it because poor children need dreams too? Buy them something else they didn't ask for because you really can't afford the DSi plus the winter clothes plus a new outfit and hope that you haven't disappointed them?

Just put it back and walk away?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I don't know if anyone on this thread thinks this way, but I know some people act like the poor need to be put in their place. How dare they ask for something any "normal" child wants. They must not truly be needy or poor if they're not asking for our leftovers and mended clothing.

Unfortunately, I know a couple people who think this way. I find it disgusting.

There are days that I am so happy that I live in my own little happy world and don't have to deal with this crap. Sometimes I come on here and I'm shocked, although I probably shouldn't be. I can't fathom the idea of giving if I'm not doing it with the right mindset.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Anyone else getting a Seinfeld vibe from this thread?

I just keep thinking about the episode where Elaine is trying to sell the tops of Muffins, and she donates the "stumps" to the local homeless shelter. The lady at the shelter comes back with:

I know what you thought. They don't have homes, they don't have jobs, what do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.

 

[golfgal]

I have a job and I expect to get Christmas presents under the tree. I didn't realize working exempted you from a Christmas gift

The Marines who run Toys for Tots frequently will come on the radio and request gifts for older kids because most people who donate think of little kids and forget the tweens and teens (probably because of the name 'Toys for Tots', but they said they donate to everyone).

I honestly don't understand people's attitudes. Who is holding a gun to your head and telling you to buy the $100 item? If you can't do the angel tree gift, donate to something else. It's not that difficult. Are you just hoping for a fight? I don't get it.

I worked for a local Christmas Charity and we have YEARS worth of toys for kids in the 5-7 age range that we store and use the following years but NEVER have enough for the middle and high school aged kids. We asked some of the local high school groups that do collection drives if they would concentrate on getting gifts for kids their ages and that helped a lot, plus they picked out things they would like so we knew they were what teens wanted.

 

[mhsjax]

Anyone else getting a Seinfeld vibe from this thread?

I just keep thinking about the episode where Elaine is trying to sell the tops of Muffins, and she donates the "stumps" to the local homeless shelter. The lady at the shelter comes back with:

Yep. I love Seinfeld