What does a best man do?

[Free4Life11]

My brother asked me to be his best man at his wedding. What am I going to have to do? He told me he doesn't want a bachelor party or anything. Keep in mind that I am 21 (he is 24) and that I am in college and don't have a lot of money -- HE is the one making the big bucks LOL (actually he is, he makes more than my parents!) I am just wondering what the most basic responsibilities are.

ETA -- I've looked at some lists but they include so many things and I can't figure out if some of them are a joke...I'm just trying to figure out what are THE basics.

 

[DVC Sadie]

In my experience the best man usually gets drunk. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

The best man usually keeps the brides wedding band in the proper pocket unless there will be a ring bearer. If you don't have a bachelor party, how about getting others together for a nice dinner somewhere?

 

[Beth76]

The best man, if not hosting a bachelor party, will hold the rings and give a toast. That's about it. Oh and make sure the groom gets to the church on time.

 

[CleveRocks]

In the weeks and days leading up to the wedding, and especially the night before and day of, just BE THERE for him. Support him, feed him, distract him, make him laugh, whatever it takes.

Spend time thinking up a GREAT toast. Many are lame, some are great, and a lucky few are TRULY GREAT and memorable. In my experience, the truly great and memorable toasts are a combination of funny and touching.

And not too long of a toast is good, too. Even though this wasn't about giving a toast, President FDR advised about public speaking: "Be sincere, be brief, be seated."

I like a PP's suggestion that even if bro doesn't want a bachelor party, take him and maybe a few friends out to a nice dinner a week before or so. Even if you can't afford to pay for it, suggest it anyway. Suggest it as a nice way for the men of the wedding to relax and spend some time together before the Big Event. Close friends and relatives won't begrudge a college student NOT footing the bill -- they will understand, and will welcome the opportunity for some type of informal pre-wedding get-together. Some may even be relieved at the lack of a bawdy bachelor party. I had a college buddy who insisted his bachelor party consist ONLY of a Yankees game, with dinner before the game optional.

CHEERS!

 

[clh2]

One thing that many people do where I live is go to a professional ball game in lieu of a traditional bachelor party. If each person attending pays for their own ticket, and their own refreshments, it won't be too costly for anyone.

In "my neck of the woods" this would be a Brewers game, with a tailgate party. The tailgating could be anything from hotdogs/hamburgers to steaks. Again - costs could be kept down by asking each guest to help out with bringing something.

 

[kirbsam]

hold rigns and get him to the church on time. i would also organize the decorating of cars, and host a small golf outing the morning of the wedding with the other groomsmen and the grooms father. have fun.

 

[MAKmom]

It is your job to make sure the groom shows up. You also should prepare a speech/toast.

 

[Binkrin]

What everyone else said

Congrats to you! Standing by your brother's side as he marries the woman that he loves is quite an honor.

Tip for the speech: Speak from your heart, don't drink too much before hand and keep under 5 minutes (5 minutes will seem like a lifetime, that might bee a little much). I have sat through some bad speeches, they are pretty memorable though but it is because we make fun of them!! Just enjoy yourself and be there for your brother. This could be a bonding experience for you

 

[TCPluto]

My brother asked me to be his best man at his wedding. What am I going to have to do?

Line up the strippers for the bachelor's party!

 

[monkeyboy]

Line up the strippers for the bachelor's party!

 

[GeorgeG]

As a "Best Man," if the Groom gets cold feet at the last minute it is your duty to take his place and marry the Bride. If you're already married, you must adopt the Bride and care for her the rest of your life.

Er, maybe I was thinking of something else. Well, it kinda goes like that, I think... maybe I'm thiinking of a "second" in dueling.. Oh well, same thiing!

 

[Micca]

Also dispose of all evidence from the bachelor party--pictures, video, prints, DNA, etc.

 

[goodeats]

In my experience if a younger sibling is Best Man (or MOH), then the other groomsmen (or bridesmaids) will plan the bachelor(ette) party. Just make sure that the party does get planned, and of course show up, but I wouldn't worry about throwing it.

You will need to rent a tux (or buy a suit depending on the wedding), but your parents may help you out with that.

Besides *supporting* the groom in the days leading up the wedding and helping him out, your biggest responsibility is the toast. I would not wing it, definitely put some thought into it.

Our BM really helped my DH. DH had an issue with the tux, and the best man was able to take him to the shop and get it straighetened out. The BM also took our honeymoon luggage to our wedding night hotel, which was very helpful!

Oh, and don't lose the ring!

 

[DISUNC]

Since Your brother don't want a Bachelor Party...you are pretty much 'off the hook"!!!

Make sure he gets to the wedding on time!
Hold the flask & the Ring!
If there are to be Ushers at the Wedding, get their butts in Gear!
Moral support when he freaks out....cause he WILL!
Also help him with the Honeymoon plans!
Look good for the Pics!
Give a Toast at the reception....DONT screw this up...If so...He will HAUNT you for years to come

Good Luck & Congrats to both your Brother & yourself!!!!

 

[Free4Life11]

Thanks for the info. Doesn't sound too bad. No idea what I'll say to toast him, but I've got months to figure that out.

 

[princess pooh]

The best man has it so much easier than the maid of honour! If he doesn't want a bachelor party you'll just have to rent a tux, show up on time, hold the rings, and make a toast. Oh, also prepare to be in a lot of pictures!

If you're worried about what to say in the toast, maybe you could tell some funny stories from your childhood?

 

[ElizaB39]

Thanks for the info. Doesn't sound too bad. No idea what I'll say to toast him, but I've got months to figure that out.

Also please make sure that you say something nice about the bride, remember you are toasting the couple and not just your bro. I can't tell you how awkward it is when the BstMn only talks about the groom and the bride sits there and politely smiles.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

In addition to holding the ring, you have to pretend you don't have it when the officiant asks for it.

Pretend you're checking every pocket, shrug your shoulders and look apologetic until the bride and groom are sufficiently mortified, then pull it out of your pocket and act like you were the first best man to ever think of this hilarious joke.

No, really, don't do that. It was funny the first time, but now it's just old.

I agree with the others. Bachelor party, whether traditional or just a round of golf; get the groom there; hold the rings, make the toast. I also think the best toasts I've heard have included some funny story about the groom, and found a way to tie that story to the present and the bride. I'm sure I've seen some books or websites that give good examples of toasts. It's probably worth looking for something like that to help get some ideas.

Good luck!

 

[Tiggeroo]

best men tend to give hung-over, slightly buzzed toasts. Start practicing.