What do your 9 year old sons do?

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My super social 9 year old has real trouble amusing himself. He is happy to play video games, or watch a video (we don't have TV signal), but if I don't allow him to do those things his major pastime is telling me he's bored and whining that he has nothing to do.

I already tell him he can't turn on any media unless he's read for an hour that day, and last night I kind of lost it with the whining and yelled at him, then I told him that I was going to make a list of things he liked to do and that he had to pick one of those things and do it before the screen went on. However we literally couldn't think of a single thing to put on the list -- it made me feel really sad to realize that he doesn't have a single hobby he could do by himself.

We came up with a few "together" things (although, to be honest not many -- he likes to play chess, and he likes me to read aloud to him), and a longer list of things he likes to do outside the home, or when a friend is over, and he does and enjoys a bunch of afterschool activities (note: almost all of these things are sports or sporty things -- going to the playground and playing tag, ice skating, hiking in the woods etc . . . , or they're fantasy play for which he needs a friend), but the list of things to do "alone" is literally blank -- not one thing. In the past he's enjoyed taking pictures, drawing, woodworking, and occaisionally he'll enjoy leafing through books with lots of pictures, but right now he's not interested.

We live in a highrise in the city and playing outside isn't an option unless I'm with him. Our apartment is tiny -- 3 rooms, my room, his room (aka the living room) and a kitchen with a dining area so things that are really active are out. We do go out and do things a lot, but occaisionally I want to take a shower or do some work on the computer or cook dinner.

Oh, and I know people are going to say legos -- but that's not an option. He's gotten legos for every birthday and Christmas from well meaning relatives and has never wanted to touch them, even when he was at stage when he liked woodworking and other kinds of building. We usually recycle them as birthday gifts to kids who like legos because they just aren't his thing.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ds10 spends about 90% of his free time with his friends, either free play (he's throwing the football with a buddy right now), or sports, several times a week. When he's not with friends, he just plays with his siblings, or reads. There is always someone to play with here! He's a social kid - he's not good on his own.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Ds10 spends about 90% of his free time with his friends, either free play (he's throwing the football with a buddy right now), or sports, several times a week. When he's not with friends, he just plays with his siblings, or reads. There is always someone to play with here! He's a social kid - he's not good on his own.

Thanks, that reassuring, it sounds like our boys have a lot in common.

He plays with other kids a lot between school, aftercare and playdates, but there are still times when noone's around -- we don't live in a neighborhood where he can just go outside and play -- it has to be scheduled.

Our biggest problem is that he comes home from aftercare - -his homework's done, his reading's done, I need to make a phone call, make dinner, or do the laundry and he's got noone to entertain him.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

My ds10 likes to make schedules, research and plan (yes, he's clearly a future DISer!) . So, I let him look into things he'd like to do, present ways we could do it, and then when we have time to do something as a family, we can follow his plan and see how it works. This might be something new to get your ds excited, and it uses/teaches organizational skills. Even something as simple as a trip to the zoo requires some research and planning -- when does it open/close? Admission cost? special exhibits? Things not to miss? Touring plan?

My ds also doesn't like legos. Not every kid does!

 

[stsomewhere]

My DS 10 liks to play video games, draw and play his viola and guitar.
He takes gymnastics once a week. He is involvoed with scouts.

 

[mom2aiden]

Would he enjoy puzzles? Or maybe teach him to play solitaire?

 

[K and K's Mommy]

OMG, he sounds almost just like my 9 year old! Mine loves to read, but sometimes he is not in the mood. Then I get the "I'm bored." He also does not like Legos, and we do not have kid neighbors.

I love the solitaire idea. I think he would like that. He has a brother and a sister, but I feel bad because when they play games, he has to "dumb down" for them.

 

[Stephres]

My son's teacher gave us a few educational sites and he likes to go on-line and play games on them. He is an outside kid, so if there is another kid outside, he is there! He is also very sweet and plays games (made up or real) with his little sister. They have been on a Go Fish kick lately, but they also play "Ice Cream Sundae" where they pile up all the pillows in the house and take turns knocking them over. Nine is such a nice age, all big-boy and little-boy at the same time.

I think reading for an hour at a time maybe be too much. Mine has to read a half hour for school but then he might read later too. I don't think he would like to sit for a whole hour though.

I would try card games, mine really seems to be into them. And maybe magic tricks. Mine loves magic tricks and it is something to do alone. Oh, and he doesn't like legos either. It seems the kids either love them or can do without them!

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I agree that an hour is a long time to read, but I don't exactly force it. I used to have a no screen media on weekends rule. A few months ago he came to me and asked me why I had he rule and I said because I was worried that he wouldn't do other things such as read if he had the option of video games, so he responded that what if he had already read a lot, could he watch then. He actually proposed -- what if I've read a whole hour already that day, could I watch/play? and I said yes, thinking it would be a once a week type thing.

Well, he basically started doing it every day. He does it at aftercare so that he doesn't miss a moment of "screen time". The result has been that his reading has gotten much better, but he's missing playing with the kids in aftercare, and he's lost interest in any other kind of solo play. So, I told him that we were changing the system.

Last night I told him no screen media. In the end he set up a monopoly game and played both sides (I figure he gets points for creativity) after I finished my stuff I came and took over one side. He then took a nice long bubble bath and then read for about 20 minutes.

 

[zoemurr]

When my kids can't find something to do I say, "If you can't find something to do I will find something for you to do and I promise you won't like it." That usually gets them out of my hair pretty fast. (My 7 year old did go scrub the bathroom counter one time he was so bored..)

We have also made up a "kid time" list like you discussed. Ours has some random things on it: Do 25 jumping jacks, draw a picture, invent a new game, empty out the broken crayons.. etc. I have been known to type these out and then send them off to "complete" it. Usually the last one will say, "Look under the couch" and I'll hide a chocolate there.

I guess it's harder though 'cause I have two. I am an only child and it can be tough.

 

[kkmcan]

My son likes to ride his bike, play with his friends (we have 4 on our block that are his age), play on the floor with nascars or monster trucks, shooting hoops in backyard, then there's always Wii, Nintendo DS, Webkinz online. He also likes to throw his football around in the air- basically playing catch with himself while he commentates outloud. Sometimes its so cute and sometimes it's just annoying- usually after an hour of listening to all that racket.

 

[Steffiesunshine]

What about kits so he can make model cars, airplanes or ships? They even have kits to build your own robot, which is a LOT of work and may keep him busy.

 

[ajk912]

I don't know if this is the answer you are looking for but I always make sure my 9 year old is enrolled in some type of extracurricular activity. It eats up a few hours each week. He needs the outlet for his energy, to make friends and do something besides hang around the house and neighborhood. Right now it's basketball, though football is his favorite!

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I don't know if this is the answer you are looking for but I always make sure my 9 year old is enrolled in some type of extracurricular activity. It eats up a few hours each week. He needs the outlet for his energy, to make friends and do something besides hang around the house and neighborhood. Right now it's basketball, though football is his favorite!

He does do sports -- in the spring and fall it's Tae Kwon Do twice a week and soccer twice a week, and in the winter it's going to be Tae Kwon Do twice a week, and hockey and fencing each once a week plus we'll probably ski almost every weekend. He also does the aftercare program at his school 3 days a week, spends one afternoon with Grandma, and one at his best friend's house. We also have friends over almost every weekend which of course solves the problem. Next year he'll have more choices available and has expressed interest in the drumline at school and a filmaking institute -- both of those start at 5th grade. So, it's not that he doesn't have anything that he likes to do, it's just that he doesn't have things that he likes to do indoors, alone.

Solitaire sounds great, and he's asked for slot cars for his Christmas gift so hopefully those will entertain him. I know he'd love to be outside rollerblading or practicing soccer, but that isn't always an option -- where we live I feel like I need to be outside with him (we're in a highrise and our windows face away from any place suitable to play).