what do you think?

[louisaho]

most of my guests are coming fro hong kong, therefore we are using all of our airmiles to redeem
"all" of their ticket from hk to usa, in and other words, they do not need to
pay anything to fly to USA. because i know it is really expensive especially when it is high season.

one of my bridemaid today asked me to pay for her dress, i though i already
issued her ticket which if you want to buy it it will cost at least $2500usd because it is in christmas

i know that i did not really use "my money" to buy their ticket, but i
used our points to redeem it, it is not exactly money, but in order to get
that many of points, we actually has never redeem any ticket for ourself,.
(hope that you understamd what i meant). if
i were to use those point to buy myself a ticket, i would not get any
points, so everytime we travel, we just pay for our ticket in order to get points

do you think that i still need to pay for her dress???

then i wonder, do i have to pay for her hotel, her meal....


i might be too mean, but a disney wedding is really not that cheap to afford, and i really don't think that i can afford their meal, dress, ticket.....

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

First, that was very generous of you to use your points so that they wouldn't have to pay for the trip over. Now, about the dress, I would say that it would have to depend on how much it costs. My maid of honor's dress is $200 (Canadian) and she is paying for it herself. I actually didn't even know she was going to buy it until she told me she had (since I am having an intimate, she will be the only one in my bridal party, so I told her that she had free range in what she wants to wear). If the dress was more money, I would have insisted in paying at least half. In your situation, I would offer to pay half if the dress was expensive. I doubt she will ask you to pay for her hotel or for her food, but if she does, you may have to remind her that this is also a vacation for her, and that you can't afford to give her a "free ticket" for the entire vacation and that if you do this for her, other people may want you to do it for them. Once again, I doubt she will ask, but it might help to remind her how much money you saved her by "paying" for her ticket. Hope this helps, and I don't mean to sound mean, but sometimes you have to make sure that people aren't asking you for too much or trying to guilt you into something because they are travelling for your wedding. Good luck!

 

[louisaho]

thanks for your words
but she did ask for me to pay the hotel... and sponsor her the meal...

 

[LUVTGR]

You are not responsible for paying for her dress, hotel, or meals and I think it is very rude of her to ask. It was very nice of you to buy her airfare. Even though I feel she's wrong, I guess it boils down to how much you want her there. If you really want her in the wedding and she can't afford the dress and hotel, paying for it may be your only option. I hope everything works out.

 

[ahutton]

It sounds like you may want to talk to her about the "expected" expenses for the trip, and what you can afford to help her with. If it were me, I would outline that, and say "I would love for you to be there, but if you can't do it right now I understand." See what she says, maybe something is going on that has her financially challenged, and she can't make up the difference in her budget right now, even as generous as you have been?

I know one of our friends found herself in a terrible spot shortly before we left, she was reluctant to tell me because she didn't want to hurt my feelings or ask for her expenses. I discussed the situation with DH and we decided on what we could afford to do, and then let her decide with a "We'll love you no matter what".

 

[louisaho]

thanks for everyone s encouragement
my finace talked to her yesterday, he told her that if our budgets allow (after the wedding), we will pay her back, but if our budget does not allow , then i am very sorry

but i really not feel good about paying her the rest after i paid for the ticket, because i am sure that we i pay for her, then everyone else will be asking the same too

 

[pixiedust23]

I am going to a friends wedding in Feb and I'm not a bridesmaid, but I would never EVER consider asking her to pay for my flight, which is costing about $500, my hotel, etc. I think it is incredibly rude. Perhaps this is a cultural difference in Hong Kong? She should be excited to see you getting married to the man of your dreams and not trying to figure out how to get a free vacation out of it. If I was you I would stand my ground because it's really not fair to your other bridemaids, groomsmen, etc if she goes for free.