what do you think of this.....

[Beth76]

I still wouldn't force DD, 6, to eat even a lick if she didn't want to. .....I never made her eat one morsel of anything.

I'm not sure you understand what some of us are doing here. (Well at least I can speak for myself.) I do NOT force my child to eat anything. The rule is that he must try something at least once. He's never refused. He knows what he's supposed to do when he sees something new on his plate. He knows that if he doesn't like it he won't have to eat it. Heck, even with sushi he said he liked it, but didn't want to eat anymore. I have never pryed open my son's mouth and poured food into it.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Child abuse. And I'd bet this is a generally emotionally abusive man.

What a shame that ANYBODY can have kids.

 

[Daxx]

And, this is how the child is going to remember Christmas for the rest of his life. What a great memory for a little kid to look back on. How freaking sad is that?!!?!?

 

[minkydog]

The other end of the spectrum....my two nephews, age 6 and 4, will eat NOTHING other than grilled cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, and hot dogs (of course they will eat any kind of candy, cookie, or other sweet). Then the grilled cheese has to be american on white. The hot dogs have to be a certain brand with a particular type of ketchup. One of the boys will eat mac and cheese, but only that nasty orange kind that you nuke in a cup.

Their parents INSIST on bringing them to every restaurant outing and family dinner function along with their own private stash of food in case the restaurant food is refused. Plus they allow the kids to place a food order...taking forever to let each boy make a decision on what they want.

It is simply ridiculous because they never eat anything they order.

However, I don't think sticking them outside in the yard is the way to go. I blame the parents for allowing this to happen. If my kids didn't want what was served, they didn't eat. Missing one meal was not going to kill them and I can assure you they ate plenty at the next meal!

My first child tried that business and I didn't know any better for 2-1/2 yrs. So I let him eat noghint but hot dogs, mac & cheese, and PBJ Then I had a wonderful ped, Dr. Murphy who put us on his Diet Plan. Plain and simple, serve the food, expect him to eat. If he doesn't like the food, let him leave the table and give nothing more until the next snack/meal time. Only water to drink, as much as he wants. I thought it was hard-hearted at the time, but it worked like a charm. Within 3 days my son was eating anything and everything. i have used Dr. Murphy's Diet Plan on all three kids, including my autisitic kid(in modified form.)

 

[Mom2be]

(I'm sure I'm about to get flamed.)

I'm not agreeing with how this was handled, but honestly, when we were kids, my parents required us to eat what we were given. There was plenty of stuff that we didn't like, but we were told to eat what was put in front of us because we certainly didn't live in a restaurant and my mother wasn't going to cook 5 different dishes for people. It certainly wasn't child abuse but we were supposed to eat what we were given. No questions asked. As we got older, if we really didn't like something, we didn't have to eat it, but it was then up to us to make something else instead.

I'm not any worse for having been "forced" to eat things I didn't like and I also learned to try all kinds of new things. In fact, I am more likely to try something I've never had and I think it's because of the way I was brought up.

I just find it surprising that so many parents now are saying they won't "force" or even try to get their kids to try something new. It just seems that kids are now running the show.

BRAVO! No wonder kids grow up and expect parents to cater to their every whim. My MIL bought our nephew hot dogs for dinner because he wouldn't eat what we were eating (again never trying spaghetti) he then informed her that these were the wrong kind of hotdogs and that he was not going to eat. So then they made him a sandwich but he wanted it on bread and not on a bun (which is all they had). If it had been my kid not only would he have at least tried the spaghetti but he certainly wouldn't be telling someone that they "bought the wrong thing."

~Amanda

 

[Mom2be]

The other end of the spectrum....my two nephews, age 6 and 4, will eat NOTHING other than grilled cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, and hot dogs (of course they will eat any kind of candy, cookie, or other sweet). Then the grilled cheese has to be american on white. The hot dogs have to be a certain brand with a particular type of ketchup. One of the boys will eat mac and cheese, but only that nasty orange kind that you nuke in a cup.

Their parents INSIST on bringing them to every restaurant outing and family dinner function along with their own private stash of food in case the restaurant food is refused. Plus they allow the kids to place a food order...taking forever to let each boy make a decision on what they want.

It is simply ridiculous because they never eat anything they order.

However, I don't think sticking them outside in the yard is the way to go. I blame the parents for allowing this to happen. If my kids didn't want what was served, they didn't eat. Missing one meal was not going to kill them and I can assure you they ate plenty at the next meal!

Hey! That sounds like my nephews!

~Amanda

 

[madgomez]

I'm not sure you understand what some of us are doing here. (Well at least I can speak for myself.) I do NOT force my child to eat anything. The rule is that he must try something at least once. He's never refused. He knows what he's supposed to do when he sees something new on his plate. He knows that if he doesn't like it he won't have to eat it. Heck, even with sushi he said he liked it, but didn't want to eat anymore. I have never pryed open my son's mouth and poured food into it.

Beth, I understand exactly what you are doing, because that is the way it went with my first son. He never refused.

But even with him following the "rule" ( we didn't act like it was a rule, just that it was the smart thing to do), my second son will have no part of it. Under such circumstances, the "rule" then doesn't get enforced unless one FORCES the child to put it in his mouth. I, for one, won't do that to my child - I personally don't think it's the right thing to do.

I don't think you think it's the right thing to do either. But I think the way you used the word "rule" in your post might make others think that. Apparently, you haven't had a child like my second - if you had, you'd probably stop callling it a "rule" .

 

[Mermaid02]

That man is a control freak- maybe Mom and Granny were afraid to say anything, else they be putting on their boots too!

I don't make my children eat or even try anything they don't want to. With my 8 year old's diagnoses, I have bigger problems than getting him to eat beets. Plus he likes plenty of things to give him a variety in his diet....

 

[Ranatra]

Your child is "required to try" everything? What does that mean? What happens if he refuses to try even one bite? What do you do? You said you don't force the child so I'm curious how you do this. My DD is 6 and also very picky. I don't even make her try a bite if she doesn't want. No sense in it.

I have to agree with Sandcass. They should have to at least "try" a new food. How else would they know if they like it or not??
I always required mine also to try a food before they turned it down. And amazingly they discovered that they loved Blue Cheese, breaded caulifower, and lentil soup. Now if they wouldn't have tried it, they would have missed out.

 

[skiwee1]

I'm not sure you understand what some of us are doing here. (Well at least I can speak for myself.) I do NOT force my child to eat anything. The rule is that he must try something at least once. He's never refused. He knows what he's supposed to do when he sees something new on his plate. He knows that if he doesn't like it he won't have to eat it. Heck, even with sushi he said he liked it, but didn't want to eat anymore. I have never pryed open my son's mouth and poured food into it.

I understand just fine, thanks. I'm talking about forcing a child to eat. If your child would refuse to take that bite then what? It seems that those that make their child have one bite also never has a child that refuses that one bite. I guess there is no threat or anything to make that child eat one taste? I never had that complacent of a kid in all my life! LOL! I could tell my DD that the rule is to try one bite and she would look at me like I had two heads! She would then throw up on her plate at just the thought of eating something that didn't appeal to her. I wouldn't tell my husband that he had to at least try one bite so I can't understand telling a child to do so unless one is on some kind of a power trip. Sorry but I chose battles worth fighting and food isn't it. Honestly does everyone make their spouse try one bite and do that actually listen to you?

 

[skiwee1]

I have to agree with Sandcass. They should have to at least "try" a new food. How else would they know if they like it or not??
I always required mine also to try a food before they turned it down. And amazingly they discovered that they loved Blue Cheese, breaded caulifower, and lentil soup. Now if they wouldn't have tried it, they would have missed out.

I think they would learn if they liked it when THEY were ready to try it. My oldest DD hated the looks of tomatoes. She wouldn't touch them for years. Finally at age 13 she started eating them on her own. Now she makes a huge salad every night for dinner. My son loved tomatoes when he was little. He ate tons of them. Now at age 17, he doesn't eat themm. The only tomatoe he eats has to be in spaghetti sauce. I don't think it has anything to do with what you forced your children to eat. It has everything to do with what they like when they are ready. Also what happens if your child doesn't want to follow the rule? What happens if he refuses? Do you threaten him or force him to eat?

 

[Teacher03]

I understand just fine, thanks. I'm talking about forcing a child to eat. If your child would refuse to take that bite then what? It seems that those that make their child have one bite also never has a child that refuses that one bite. I guess there is no threat or anything to make that child eat one taste? I never had that complacent of a kid in all my life! LOL! I could tell my DD that the rule is to try one bite and she would look at me like I had two heads! She would then throw up on her plate at just the thought of eating something that didn't appeal to her. I wouldn't tell my husband that he had to at least try one bite so I can't understand telling a child to do so unless one is on some kind of a power trip. Sorry but I chose battles worth fighting and food isn't it. Honestly does everyone make their spouse try one bite and do that actually listen to you?

I also made my kids try new foods-just one bite, if they didn't like it, they didn't have to eat it. I never forced them, they just knew it was a rule. I would never tell my spouse what to eat, he is an adult and makes his own decisions. Sometimes parents have to make decisions for their children. My kids are almost all grown now, (my youngest is 16), and they are healthy eaters with no weight issues or food disorders.

 

[skiwee1]

I also made my kids try new foods-just one bite, if they didn't like it, they didn't have to eat it. I never forced them, they just knew it was a rule. I would never tell my spouse what to eat, he is an adult and makes his own decisions. Sometimes parents have to make decisions for their children. My kids are almost all grown now, (my youngest is 16), and they are healthy eaters with no weight issues or food disorders.

I let my kids chose what they wanted to eat growing up. The oldest two are 18 and 23 and they are both healthy eaters. The now 6 y/o is very picky, as were the other two when younger, and I don't make her eat even one bite. I expect her to make the right choices for her as she grows up also. As far as telling a spouse I think it is the same thing as telling a kid what to eat. Eating is so subjective. No one should be telling anyone else what to eat whether one is 5 or 50. We all don't want the same thing and we all don't want to even try one bite. As my ped as said for years: Kids eat what they need. Never force the child to even take one bite if they don't want to. We subscribe to that and it has worked great.

 

[Disney_1derland]

Well, it is an inappropriate punishment in a lot of ways. As for what is appropriate, I think it varies from kid to kid.

Our oldest is a very adventurous eater and will try anything. BUT....she has very strong likes and dislikes. She likes raw veggies, but doesn't like any cooked veggie except broccoli. She adores any type of bean you lay in front of her but doesn't like red meat at all. She doesn't like lettuce in any way shape or form. Her choices are healthy, but they are HER choices. We respect them though we do ask her to try each new thing we make. Some she likes, some she doesn't. We don't fight about it. Food is not something that should be battled over, rewarded with or bargained for.

My youngest is the pickiest kid I've ever seen. She likes most cooked veggies, she loves salad, she adores black olives and lives and dies by peanut butter. She is also the kid that is more inclined to snack all day every day instead of eating a solid meal EVER. Our rule for her is that she must eat what is served (we always serve at least one thing we are pretty sure she will eat.) or leave the table. 5 minutes later when she starts begging for snack we offer her the dinner again and the rule is that if you do not eat a decent portion of what is served then you do not enjoy junk later on but you may choose a healthy snack.

We have one drawer in the fridge filled with individual servings of healthy snacks that both children may access at pretty much any time within reason. Yogurt, fruits, cheese sticks, snack mix (trail mix type stuff we make ourselves), veggies, etc. They both know it's there and we rarely if ever have food arguments. The youngest will probably turn into Mrs. Peanut any day now because she has consumed so much peanut butter, but we figure she will outgrow it. This week her obsession is black olives. Next week it will be salad. Last week it was yogurt covered raisins. you just never know with her. She gets a serving at a time and that is it.

 

[Calliaz]

You should buy this dad a copy of _How to Get Your Child to Eat, But Not Too Much_. It is an excellent book about not making food a fight but still getting your child to eat well. The main maxim is that it is a parent's job to present good meals with lots of variety and it is a child's job to choose to eat it. In general, you should always have one item that the child likes at a meal (like bread and butter) and they can eat what they want. You don't make extra meals or feed them inbetween regular meals and snacks. When they're hungry, they will eat.

Of course, I have a child with medical feeding problems who doesn't eat when he's hungry, but that's a different issue.

What this dad did is pretty awful in my book.

 

[Teacher03]

I let my kids chose what they wanted to eat growing up. The oldest two are 18 and 23 and they are both healthy eaters. The now 6 y/o is very picky, as were the other two when younger, and I don't make her eat even one bite. I expect her to make the right choices for her as she grows up also. As far as telling a spouse I think it is the same thing as telling a kid what to eat. Eating is so subjective. No one should be telling anyone else what to eat whether one is 5 or 50. We all don't want the same thing and we all don't want to even try one bite. As my ped as said for years: Kids eat what they need. Never force the child to even take one bite if they don't want to. We subscribe to that and it has worked great.

I never forced my children to eat anything.. trying one bite isn't forcing them to eat. There is a difference. Telling a spouse to try something is different than telling your kids the same...once again, your spouse is an adult and your kids are kids. As for telling children what to eat, we all encourage children to eat their vegetables and fruits, etc. However, we (my husband and I) always will try new foods to set an example. It was never a battle in my house. Like I said, it was a rule and we all followed it. It sounds like the children in both our homes grew up to be healthy eaters, and that is all that is important!

 

[Ranatra]

Never force the child to even take one bite if they don't want to. We subscribe to that and it has worked great.

We never forced, we coaxed, there's a difference. I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on this subject.

 

[Aidensmom]

I understand just fine, thanks. I'm talking about forcing a child to eat. If your child would refuse to take that bite then what? It seems that those that make their child have one bite also never has a child that refuses that one bite. I guess there is no threat or anything to make that child eat one taste? I never had that complacent of a kid in all my life! LOL! I could tell my DD that the rule is to try one bite and she would look at me like I had two heads! She would then throw up on her plate at just the thought of eating something that didn't appeal to her. I wouldn't tell my husband that he had to at least try one bite so I can't understand telling a child to do so unless one is on some kind of a power trip. Sorry but I chose battles worth fighting and food isn't it. Honestly does everyone make their spouse try one bite and do that actually listen to you?

Power trip? Because someone teaches a child there are rules that should be followed they are on a power trip? I have never forced food in my child's mouth, and never would. But he understands there are rules, and that you follow the rules. God forbid anyone teach such a concept. He doesn't question it, he just takes his two bites, says either he doesn't want anymore or he finishes it. The only time he does not is if he is sick and does not want to eat.

If he were to throw up on his plate because I requested he taste something, I would guess HE was testing how much power he had. Would he be forced to eat it? No. Would he get something else? If he tried two bites of everything else on his plate.

If he tries what we serve and doesn't like it, he can have a sandwich, but if he does not try something, he apparantly is not all that hungry.

 

[mtblujeans]

That was called a "no thank you bite" when our kids were younger and went to daycare. We had a wonderful daycare, by sheer luck. They told all the kids they had to take a "no thank you bite" when they were not sure of a food or did not like it. If they still did not want it, they could say "no thank you" after taking one bite and they were not forced to eat it....as long as they had tried that one bite. It ALWAYS worked....with my kids and all the kids at that daycare. The kidlings usually found they really did like it and they ate all of it.

 

[Sandcass]

Telling a spouse to try something is different than telling your kids the same...once again, your spouse is an adult and your kids are kids. QUOTE]

Ummmm, I've actually made my husband try new food. He grew up a very picky eater. His entire family is. He never likes to try new food. Now thanks to my influence he LOVES things that he thought he hated. Like Chinese food for example.