What Do You Think Of This Relationship?

[AKL_Megs]

What do you think of this, out of curiosity...

A female family member who, when she was in her early-20's, dated another man who was also in his 20's very seriously. They probably would have gotten married, had their relationship took a turn for the worse. Apparently, he had had some issues with drugs, and eventually, he dragged her down with him. He eventually ended up in prison for two years (for the drugs), and they just went their separate ways.

Well, they have reconneced. They are both now in their late-30's. He is actually a totally different person now, having turned over a new leaf and matured. He is pretty successful in his line of work, has a big house, nice cars... living the "American Dream". She is also very successful in her line of work. They both each have a child (not together), and she is divorced. (I guess he was never married to his DD's mother.)

Anyways, everyone is giving her slack for getting back together with this man who did her wrong so many years ago. I had always hoped they would end up together, and now, in better times, it is looking like they might!

Am I just a (newlywed LOL) sap, or is she really making a big mistake? I think I am the only person who thinks people can change, and who is happy for her!

 

[luvmy3]

I don't think there is anything wrong with second chances

 

[wdwmom2]

I don't think there is anything wrong with second chances

What she said. If he has turned his life around and is truly a good person, I say go for it!!!!

 

[babynurse1]

Only time will tell, but she is an adult and can make this decision whether her friends agree with it or not. Hopefully, they have both matured and are in better places in their lives.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would proceed carefully if I was her, and PAY ATTENTION, but I would give him a chance, provided that his current behavior is acceptable to her.

Sometimes we do really stupid stuff in our 20's.

 

[dislaney]

I believe in second chances! Hope it works out for her.

 

[anniemae]

IMO you change a lot from you 20's to your 30's. I would give him a second chance, but as other said, proceed slowly and with caution until she is sure he has truly changed and turned his life around.

 

[canadianjovigirl]

From what i am reading..i don't think he did her wrong as she was also 20 and had a choice in the relationship and choose to be brought down with him. I too agree that many people make bad choices and mistakes in their younger years........nothing wrong with second chances...seems they both have their lives together so why not. I would have a different opinion of course if one of them was still struggling with the drugs/alcohol or poor life choices but that does not seem to be the case............

My motto with my ex (also my oldest daughters father) is shame on him the first time he did something unpleasant to me and for all the other times...shame on me for staying and allowing it to go on for 7 years

 

[a1tinkfans]

What do you think of this, out of curiosity...

A female family member who, when she was in her early-20's, dated another man who was also in his 20's very seriously. They probably would have gotten married, had their relationship took a turn for the worse. Apparently, he had had some issues with drugs, and eventually, he dragged her down with him. He eventually ended up in prison for two years (for the drugs), and they just went their separate ways.

Well, they have reconneced. They are both now in their late-30's. He is actually a totally different person now, having turned over a new leaf and matured. He is pretty successful in his line of work, has a big house, nice cars... living the "American Dream". She is also very successful in her line of work. They both each have a child (not together), and she is divorced. (I guess he was never married to his DD's mother.)

Anyways, everyone is giving her slack for getting back together with this man who did her wrong so many years ago. I had always hoped they would end up together, and now, in better times, it is looking like they might!

Am I just a (newlywed LOL) sap, or is she really making a big mistake? I think I am the only person who thinks people can change, and who is happy for her!

Well, I say tread slowly and who knows...no one is perfect, people can redeem themselves and DRUGS tear families apart and people apart quite often, SO
I say, she got LUCKY, she did not deal with the incarceration years, the drugs withdrawal and NOW, hopefully he is a healthy, responsible guy. I wish them both luck! It is not an easy road dealing with all that history and having children in the mix.............

 

[mamacatnv]

The love of my life went to jail when we were 20/21 for something stupid and our relationship was severed via my father getting overly involved. I never ever got over it or him.

I say she should go for it, you never know what life holds and finding your true soulmate is a lot rarer IMO than people are willing to admit.

 

[MrsPete]

I think that if I were in that situation, I'd be willing to give him a second chance.

HOWEVER, I wouldn't be stupid about it. I'd be suspicious. I'd actively search for any signs of trouble, and I wouldn't accept excuses for anything. If everything is really different, wonderful. If anything not so good's lurking underneath, I'd be out of there in a heartbeat, and I would not give him a third chance.

 

[Bren's Mom]

You 'guess' he was never married? So maybe he was and IS still married? That would be a red flag.

But if he really truly has his act together, and she does, and they are both single and want to be together I say good luck to them!

 

[Hillbeans]

I would say that yes, it's ok to date this guy and see where it goes. As long as they don't try to rush into marriage or having more kids together I don't see the harm with giving it another try.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

What's been said is all very well and good. BUT...

What if being with her was part of the reason he turned to drugs. In some cases, people are toxic for each other...

I'm jus' saying.

 

[Sparx]

What's been said is all very well and good. BUT...

What if being with her was part of the reason he turned to drugs. In some cases, people are toxic for each other...

I'm jus' saying.

i thought of this too.

i would tread very very carefully.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Thanks everyone!

I've been happy for her decision, and can now (from your posts) see why everyone else is probably giving her a hard time.

I'll pass on your words... no rushing!

 

[shortbun]

I had a good friend go through something like that. The guy went through some bad stuff but came out on the other side in great shape. They re-connected, married, had two gorgeous kids and are retired very comfortably at age 56. They are still passionately in love.

 

[Rora]

I believe in second chances! Hope it works out for her.

Agreed!

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I'm in the good for them boat. If they're happy, then I'm happy they found each other!

 

[Bluestars]

If I were her, I would do a little investigating to make sure there aren't any surprises in the recent past that he may have failed to mention. With his history, I wouldn't want to find anything out the hard way after dating for a year. Then I would give it another chance. People can change. I've seen it happen to the extreme and it is amazing.