What do you think of this bully situation?

[floridaminnie]

I'm surprised no one said anything to the father. I would have been standing behind the bench and said "Are you going to do something about this". But then I'm a teacher and have no problem saying something.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Chester needs someone to shadow him in the dugout and watch him closely during and after the game. One of my former special ed preschool students was on a t-ball team that played against my son's team. The student was eventually diagnosed as emotionally disturbed when he was older. As a preschooler, he would yell profanities and hit and push other kids without provocation. If he was playing 1st base, he would block the base and hit any child that tried to touch it. My 5 year old (at the time) son described him as "a pain in the neck."

After the first game, the coach required one of the his parents to be with him in the dugout and on the field at all times. His mom or dad would stand right behind him in the field and verbally direct him or physically restrain him if it was necessary. His mother told me she'd rather sit and watch the games with the other parents but she understood that, if her son was going to play, he needed to have extra support all the time. She had the right attitude. It sounds like Chester also needs that kind of guidance to help him learn how to behave around others. Just saying "Chester" isn't going to teach him what he did wrong and how he could have acted instead. I also have a DS with Asperger's and I know how much effort it takes to guide these kids in social situation.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I think that Jack's parents should deal with it, not you.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

His parents are allowing behavior that is not acceptable, no matter what his special needs are. I agree that he should have had one-on-one supervision at all times, removing him from a situation when he can't be respectful. Most teams my son has been on have had a zero tolerance policy regarding bullying. If I had of observed what you did with him bullying the other boy, with neither of the involved kids parents stepping in to say something, I would have spoken up. It takes a village. I always give the parents a chance to say something when their child is acting out and I am pretty lenient regarding what behavior I'd say something about, but when I see something happening that needs attention I speak up.

 

[kirstenb1]

Chester needs someone to shadow him in the dugout and watch him closely during and after the game. One of my former special ed preschool students was on a t-ball team that played against my son's team. The student was eventually diagnosed as emotionally disturbed when he was older. As a preschooler, he would yell profanities and hit and push other kids without provocation. If he was playing 1st base, he would block the base and hit any child that tried to touch it. My 5 year old (at the time) son described him as "a pain in the neck."

After the first game, the coach required one of the his parents to be with him in the dugout and on the field at all times. His mom or dad would stand right behind him in the field and verbally direct him or physically restrain him if it was necessary. His mother told me she'd rather sit and watch the games with the other parents but she understood that, if her son was going to play, he needed to have extra support all the time. She had the right attitude. It sounds like Chester also needs that kind of guidance to help him learn how to behave around others. Just saying "Chester" isn't going to teach him what he did wrong and how he could have acted instead. I also have a DS with Asperger's and I know how much effort it takes to guide these kids in social situation.

This sounds like a great solution. When dd has activities, I volunteer to serve as her shadow all the time. I know the OP is looking at it (and rightly so) from a lack of disciplining viewpoint, but on a positive note, it's also a great way to point out appropriate behaviors by peers.

 

[declansdad]

"Chester's" parents are totally at fault here. No other parent is going to is going to say anything in fear of being branded a bully themselves. "Chester" should be allowed to play but to bully and torment the other kids.

 

[Hannathy]

All the children should be required to behave properly, special needs is not an okay to be mean to all the other kids.

I agree. special needs is not an excuse to misbehave. If he can't follow the rules for the team then like any other child he doesn't belong on it.

 

[minkydog]

I'm sorry, and I am probably going to get flamed for saying this, but autism or no...what that kid was allowed to do, not just yesterday, but all season is wrong. Having a disability is one thing. If he can learn the game of baseball, then he can learn proper behavior. My oldest DS has Asperger's and I am correcting him constantly. It is exhausting, and YES, he does get punished!!!!

It's just we try to teach these kids tolerance, yet they had to put up with this kid all season. I had a talk with my son last night and explained to him that it was the adults in his life that were making him the way he was. He really can't help saying what he says..it's up to his parent's to correct him and they don't.

No flames from me. I have a niece with Aspergers who acts out and is undisciplined. I foresee a very difficult life for her. I believe that any child can be disciplined appropriately. Heck, Christian has the mind of a 1yr old but I have to sometimes discipline him. Not punish and certainly no hitting. But I don't allow him to throw food or take his pants off in public. It may be his disability that causes him to act inappropriately, but that doesn't mean I have to allow it. As with any child, the early you start teaching/disciplining, the better results you're going to get. It takes Christian years and years of practice to "get it." If I am not diligent each and every time, he will never learn to act right. What might have been funny or cute when he was 2 will NOT be funny or cute when he's 25! Shame on me if I allow him to grow up to be obnoxious or aggressive.

This boy's parents aren't doing him any favors. I would think twice about continuing to allow my child to play on this team. If a normal child were doing and say the things that this autisitc boy is doing, the coaches would be on him like white on rice. The fact that they are choosing to overlook it speaks volumes.