What do you do in this situation..........help!! Update page 4 :)

[npmommie]

so my friend and I were at the town beach today with the kids,,, she asked what we are doing july 4. so i told her our plans and she invites herself along!
hubby doesn't want to go with them.
so how do i get out of it.
and what do you do when someone invites themselves along on something you are doing?
it happened so fast at the time I didn't know what to say.

 

[kirstenb1]

I'm not sure you have a choice at this point. You could flat-out lie, and invent an illness, but then you wouldn't be able to go to wherever it was, without worrying about being seen.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Say you talked to your husband and he is not into the group outing and you will get together another time.

 

[Hillbeans]

I guess it would depend on what I was doing. Is it something that you can spend your own time (like a carnival) or something where you have to spend the entire time with them?

I sort of invited myself along to my Brother's/SIL's on the 4th of July when they are at a family beach house, but we're really not planning on staying over or crashing a party - we plan to see them for as much or as little as they may want. DH will be home after a month in China and I thought we could just let our kids play for a bit and stay for the fireworks at the beach where they are staying.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Say you talked to your husband and he is not into the group outing and you will get together another time.

 

[disykat]

Say you talked to your husband and he is not into the group outing and you will get together another time.

I agree with this. Maybe phrase it as "I talked to DH and he brought up that he was really looking forward to just family time. We're trying to make this a priority so we'll have to get together another time."

 

[npmommie]

I agree with this. Maybe phrase it as "I talked to DH and he brought up that he was really looking forward to just family time. We're trying to make this a priority so we'll have to get together another time."

can I say it in email without it coming across badly??

 

[Magic Mom]

No, you should call her.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

can I say it in email without it coming across badly??

No, this requires a personal phone call. To cancel in an email is not cool.

 

[Handbag Lady]

can I say it in email without it coming across badly??

Yes, if you include an actual date and time for the other time.


I am in these shoes all the time. My husband isn't a people person and would die if someone invited themselves along with our planned outings.

 

[kellydizfan]

I would call her. It if was me on the other end and I received an email, I would be hurt.

 

[Ponygirl]

I would think it was divine intervention brought on by me going into the men's dressing room a few days ago. I would whine, say "oh, crap!" a few times, and then call and cancel and blame it on my husband.

Seriously, I hate it when people impose without being invited. It really puts you on the spot and is always uncomfortable. Good luck on getting out of it and enjoy your weekend.

 

[npmommie]

No, this requires a personal phone call. To cancel in an email is not cool.

why do I have to cancel, I didn't even INVITE her.LOL. sheesh.
we were just talking about what we are doing,
then it was not an oh maybe we will see you there, it was " can we come along with you?"

I would think it was divine intervention brought on by me going into the men's dressing room a few days ago. I would whine, say "oh, crap!" a few times, and then call and cancel and blame it on my husband.

Seriously, I hate it when people impose without being invited. It really puts you on the spot and is always uncomfortable. Good luck on getting out of it and enjoy your weekend.

LOL

I know now I am uncomfortable, and I didn't even think she would invite herself along.
my huibby is not a social butterfly, once in a while, but he likes his family outings with just family sometimes and this is one of those.

anyway,
I know her well, and she is going to be offended whether I do it on the phone or by email.

 

[npmommie]

Yes, if you include an actual date and time for the other time.


I am in these shoes all the time. My husband isn't a people person and would die if someone invited themselves along with our planned outings.

I was thinking of saying why don't we go to fireworks on satuday instead? there are multiple towns having saturday night fireworks too.
maybe if i suggest that it won't be so bad.

 

[C.Ann]

I was thinking of saying why don't we go to fireworks on satuday instead? there are multiple towns having saturday night fireworks too.
maybe if i suggest that it won't be so bad.

That might actually work!

You have no idea what it's like to have people "invite themselves" - until you have a place at the lake...

 

[MinnieFlute]

I agree with this. Maybe phrase it as "I talked to DH and he brought up that he was really looking forward to just family time. We're trying to make this a priority so we'll have to get together another time."

I like this. It's honest. You don't want to BS a friend - lying could really risk alienating them. Does she do this regularly? If it's a regular problem, it might be worth a discussion.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I was thinking of saying why don't we go to fireworks on satuday instead? there are multiple towns having saturday night fireworks too.
maybe if i suggest that it won't be so bad.

Yes, exactly. My friends know that my husband shies away from people, so they totally understand. And they know I would die to NOT spend time with them, so a "something" else really solves the problem. And it isn't like my husband doesn't like them, he just also is NOT a social butterfly, too. It makes him very uncomfortable and that isn't fair, either. (Since your friend invited herself!)

 

[Handbag Lady]

That might actually work!

You have no idea what it's like to have people "invite themselves" - until you have a place at the lake...

So, we'll be over July 23rd, right?

 

[kidshop]

why do I have to cancel, I didn't even INVITE her.LOL. sheesh.
we were just talking about what we are doing,
then it was not an oh maybe we will see you there, it was " can we come along with you?"



LOL

I know now I am uncomfortable, and I didn't even think she would invite herself along.
my huibby is not a social butterfly, once in a while, but he likes his family outings with just family sometimes and this is one of those.

anyway,
I know her well, and she is going to be offended whether I do it on the phone or by email.

Can you just call her and say your plans are not firm yet (you're doing something earlier in the day or waiting on something else) and you will just have to see them there rather than go together? A 'we'll look for you when we get there' kind of thing. If she is going to be offended either way, do it whatever way you feel is best. You didn't do anything wrong!

 

[C.Ann]

So, we'll be over July 23rd, right?

I'm sorry.. I pretty sure I'm going to be sick until - oh - at least November..