What do we do about wedding gifts that were not received??

[snarlingcoyote]

A co-worker married last year. She thanked me for one gift, but not another gift. As the second gift was a giftcard, I asked her if she'd gotten it. Nope. She hadn't. She was already wondering as she hadn't gotten gifts from some v. close relations.

We discussed shifty characters who worked at the wedding and then let it go, thinking that some of her gifts had been stolen.

Fast forward one year. Her mother had bought linens for the tables as it was cheaper than renting the linens. She finally decided to go through the linens to see if she could sell them.

And found ALL the missing presents.

 

[Ember]

do stores these days keep track if an item is purchased from a registry and then returned? i know back when i got married they did'nt and as a result some of the items we registered for appeared to have been purchased which prevented someone else from buying them, but we did'nt receive those items (i suspect in our case the persons ended up deciding after the fact to purchase something else to gift us).

i don't think there's any way for you/your dd to pursue it with the store-only a purchaser could pursue it with a receipt showing it was purchased and then not delivered (if they opted for the store to deliver).

as for the 3 you can't identify gifts to-i would be uncomfortable contacting anyone and asking them directly weather they had/had not gifted me/my dd. it may be the social norm for everyone to give a gift, but that does'nt always happen due to a variety of circumstances and personal choices.

we had about 3 people who attended our wedding that i could'nt identify a gift for, i opted to send them a thank you note that was worded in a manner that would thank them in the event they had given us a gift, but not insult them/make them feel bad if they had'nt-

"thank you for your kindness and generosity in sharing our special day with us".


funny thing is, over 2 years after the fact my mil put on the same suit she wore to our wedding. she reached into the pocket and to her surpise she pulled out an envelope. it was a card that one of those guests had asked her to give us. inside was a cash gift. mil was like and immediatly called the guest (a friend of hers) to tell her what she had discovered and to profusely apologize. the guest told her she never would have known if she had'nt told her because she had received what she perceived as a very heartfelt and appreciate thank you note from us over 2 years prior

Now this is how you handle a situation such as this with class and grace!

 

[horseshowmom]

Why did you decline the invitation? Why didn't you send a gift?

Probably because the poster "barely knew" the bride. Possibly, the poster's financial situation wasn't conducive to spending money on someone they barely knew.

Honestly, I more than likely would not have attended or sent a gift either. It always interests me when I receive an invitation to something from somebody I barely know. I have to admit that it generally makes me wonder if their main interest is an extra gift.


Originally Posted by tomthebarncat
Times are hard for a lot of people, and just maybe those guests could not afford a gift!! I did have a bride, I barely knew call me and "Thank me" for a gift, I thought it was strange as I did not send her one and told her so! She then replied that she thought that maybe it had gotten lost in the mail, what nerve! No, I did not attend the wedding and I did decline on the RSVP, so she was clearly fishing for gifts. To be snarky, I did send her a used book on etiquette. Congratulations to the happy couple