What did you learn from your first real relationship?

[reecejackox]

That's it not always going to be perfect

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I thought I was a sophisticated woman of the world by dating a man in his 20s. I was really a dumb kid being taken advantage of by a grown man who should have known better than to get involved with me. And I hurt my mother badly. So I learned to be very careful about who I dated and what their motives might be.

 

[BrianL]

Generally that people lie a lot and I shouldn't be quick to trust.

 

[Schneewittchen37]

It's really hard to pretend to be someone you're not.

 

[BrianL]

It's really hard to pretend to be someone you're not.

Except in the case of my relationship - it seemed pretty easy for her!

 

[ronandannette]

I learned that I needed to get a lot more selective about choosing who I wanted to be with rather than just riding it out with whoever was interested. I learned that I wasn't obligated to stay in a relationship just because the other person wanted me to. I learned I was the type of person who was perfectly happy alone and I'd never give that up for a sub-par relationship.

 

[Smugpugmug]

I learned a lot about what I value in a relationship going forward. My first relationship was in my late teens/early 20s and my partners dad constantly called me homophobic slurs (I was a woman dating another woman) and my partner never stood up for me and told her dad to stop. She would stand there and let him and her other family members make fun of me and degrade me. I loved her a lot but inside I knew I couldn't be with someone that would never have my best interests in mind.

 

[ronandannette]

I learned a lot about what I value in a relationship going forward. My first relationship was in my late teens/early 20s and my partners dad constantly called me homophobic slurs (I was a woman dating another woman) and my partner never stood up for me and told her dad to stop. She would stand there and let him and her other family members make fun of me and degrade me. I loved her a lot but inside I knew I couldn't be with someone that would never have my best interests in mind.

Um, what's wrong with this picture? He knew it was his daughter you were dating, right? Was he vilifying her too? That's crazy.

 

[Colleen27]

That functional relationships aren't as simple as having strong feelings for one another. My first real relationship was with a wonderful man who is just too much like me for us to work as a couple. We're still friends, but we were a train wreck - albeit a happy one - when we were romantically involved. We've both been married close to 20 years now and the similarities between his wife and my husband are a running joke between us. We both married people who balance us out, and our lives are better for it.