What are the signs,exactly? (ranting inside)

[TheOtherVillainess]

Last night DMIL calls and asks us if DS can come over tonight and spend the night as well as all day Monday. Fine. No problem whatsoever. DH informs DMIL that DS is now using 'big boy pants' (Pull Ups) and we are working on potty training (even though his performance is not exactly what you could call consistent). This should be no issue for her, because we bought a potty exactly like the one we use at home for use at DMIL's house.

However, DMIL in her infinite wisdom doesn't think DS is ready. She thinks he hasn't been showing enough 'signs' of readiness.

1. He pulls off his big boy pants when he is wet/dirty
2. If you ask him "Are you wet/dirty?" he will often respond with a yes/no answer
3. He can pull his big boy pants on and off all by himself
4. He WANTS to sit on the potty when you take him into the bathroom

How many more signs of readiness does she want? We told her all of the above, but she still insists he's not 'ready'.

I am sending big boy pants with him tonight anyway and I will ask her (politely) to use them instead of regular diapers.

DS has even gotten to where he prefers big boy pants over diapers. He loves the designs (we have Toy Story and CARS PullUps).

I know that she has successfully raised two kids and taught god knows how many others in all the years she taught, but that doesn't make her an expert, does it?

TOV

 

[Daxx]

I know that she has successfully raised two kids and taught god knows how many others in all the years she taught, but that doesn't make her an expert, does it?

Honey -- don't you know that MIL's know everything about everything? Honest to God, they could solve the world's problems if only someone would give them the chance!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!

No advice here, sweetie ... you do what you're doing! Just take her w/a grain of salt and a large margarita!

Warmly,
Daxx's Wife (who, fortunately, had an amazing MIL!)

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

I just don't get where she gets off telling me he's not ready when we've been working on it for several months now and started big boy pants a week ago because we finally decided he was ready for them.

TOV

 

[lovmy2girls]

Give it up. MIL are all knowing.

Seriously, they took a class that is no longer offered, and we know nothing about our own children.

Mine told me that I should use cloth diapers, and have my girls potty trained by 10 months old

 

[janette]

I found that pull ups weren't very useful. The kids have to feel the wetness and will learn much faster with traditional training pants. They are great for going places especially MIL's houses but most kids learn quicker without them.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I found that pull ups weren't very useful. The kids have to feel the wetness and will learn much faster with traditional training pants. They are great for going places especially MIL's houses but most kids learn quicker without them.

ITA

My son used pull ups for a week or two and that was it. I think they are just fancy pampers.

We did better with regular training pants which allowed him to feel the wetness.

TOV, if your MIL isn't willing to follow your wishes about the pull ups, maybe you should rethink having your son spend the night and all day with her.

 

[momrek06]

TOV:

If DS has made some progress here, will he "go backwards" if grandma DOES NOT work with you on this while he is over there visiting her?

And is your DS able to tell grandma he wants his "big boy pants" on...? That right there will be a BIG clue. And if she refuses to listen to him !!!!

When my DS was 2yo, he was hospitalized with a "out of control" case of CROUP. Although, the nursing staff was fabulous, he did "go backwards" as THEY put diapers back on him. Granted he was ALMOST THERE with the potty training BUT we had to basically start over once he left the hospital.

 

[disney4us2002]

I can understand your frustration, your ds, your rules. Just send pull-ups and if she wants him in diapers, she'll have to buy them herself.

How old is your ds? I have 3 boys and honestly by waiting til they were really ready, it didn't take several months. They were completely daytime trained over a weekend. Perhaps this is what your mil is alluding to?

 

[poohs_hunny]

Mine told me that I should use cloth diapers, and have my girls potty trained by 10 months old

10 MONTHS?!?! How exactly is the baby supposed to get to the potty when he/she can't even walk?? Hilarious!

 

[froglady]

Just curious; you state MIL has a potty at her house. Does she also have waterproof bedding, pads, etc in case of accidents? If not, perhaps you could also send some over to protect her mattress and furniture.

I sometimes watch my neighbor's son in a pinch, and he was at the same stage as yours the last time I did so. I would NOT have wanted him to spend the whole night at my house without having some way of protecting the mattress and my couch, just in case he slipped up. (I watched him at his own house, and only for the evening.)

 

[froglady]

10 MONTHS?!?! How exactly is the baby supposed to get to the potty when he/she can't even walk?? Hilarious!

I once babysat for someone who would place her 9-10 month old on the potty, just to get her used to it. She expected her to be totally trained by 12-15 months.

 

[lulugirl]

When MIL says he's ready.
Period, end of story.

 

[tar heel]

I have no idea if he's ready, but Pull-ups are NOT big boy pants -- they're diapers made a different way. I don't think many kids are trained using Pull-ups. They feel like a diaper, so the child tends to do what he/she has been doing in his diapers since birth.

I have no idea whether your DS is ready to trian but agree that it should be your and DH's decision not your MIL. For the record, my sons were not ready when they were your DS's age. Training them then would have been way too much work!

 

[Planogirl]

I only used Pull-Ups if we went out somewhere and then only for a short while. DS announced that he didn't want diapers any more and almost trained himself.

I can't imagine a 1 year being potty trained! That's a bit soon to say the least.

 

[Beth76]

I agree with the others. If this is a pull-ups vs. diaper issue, then there's no issue. Pull-ups are diapers. Just a different style. As long as she's going to let him sit on the potty when he wants to, then there should be no problem.

 

[Wishing on a star]

How can resist a thread that is about both potty training AND MIL's

Here is my take. If this is indeed that 'crucial' time in potty training, then is it really a good time to leave your DS with MIL for such a long period???

As far as the pull-ups. NEVER have heard one good thing about using them to potty-train. They are glorified diapers. I am thinking that they are now designed so that they do not mask the 'wet' feeling as much as diapers? Still, I would still never choose to use these to potty train.

And, lastly. (NOTE: I do NOT agree with this!) The potty training of babies at around 12 months is NOT unheard of. In other countries where Pampers are not available or affordable, yes, it is common procedure for parents/caregivers to set the child on the pot after every meal or snack. The babies/toddlers sit there until they 'go'. Now, do not get me wrong!! This is NOT a recommended method!!! It is known to backfire, and end up with children who have issues and accidents well into Kindergarten/Elementary school.

 

[robertsmom]

Well, I'm going to disagree about the Pull Up thing. My DS wore them and was daytime trained in about a month. Of course, he was also about 3 1/2, so that might have had something to do with it. But Pull Ups must have something going for them, or they wouldn't be such a big seller.

 

[Tanuki]

If the child is able to walk up stairs upright and alternating their feet it is time to potty train.

 

[jipsy]

I was told by my all knowing mother and grandmother that when a child doesn't like to be dirty, for example they WANT to wash their hands, they are ready to be potty trained.

 

[JVL1018]

Well, I'm going to disagree about the Pull Up thing. My DS wore them and was daytime trained in about a month. Of course, he was also about 3 1/2, so that might have had something to do with it. But Pull Ups must have something going for them, or they wouldn't be such a big seller.

I think we all buy them because we have been told that it's the next step byt the diaper companies. LOL
I buy Pull Ups ALL the time..for night time for DS. I did the same for DD until she stayed dry at night(around 3)

For potty training(DD at 2 1/2, DS just before age 3) I did the "here's underwear, from now on use the potty" method.
I tried before that and it was frustrating for both of us.
When they really were ready, they got it pretty quickly. Within a week or two, though they'll still be some accidents, which is why I used PullUps, for when we had to go to the store or something. Did that for about a month until they stayed dry every time we went out.