What am I going to do?!?! kinda long and dramtic

[EvilinaDM101]

SO! I FINALLY decided on my dress and here is the story . . .

I went to the bridal store, got my fittings and put down my deposit. So now I wait till it arrives. Well today is thanksgiving and we are having dinner with some friends. Our friends are ALSO getting married but in Sept (in Las Vegas) and we are getting married in October (at WDW). SO I pull his fiance a side and I am SO excited to show her my dress. I take her into the front living room and my FDH and her FDH is sitting at the table chatting. I then open up the bridal book and show her my dress. She then SCREAMS Apparently the dress she had shown me before for her choice she has changed to MY dress. (none of this being known) We both had NO clue that she went out and found the perfect dress (my dress) and ALSO put her deposit down on the same dress. Well, both the FDH's come into the living room and ask what's wrong and I throw down the book and we both pretty much have tears in our eyes and say as non chalant as possible NOTHING. But they both knew it. They kinda laugh it off sorta and the rest of the night we were trying to pick out all the PROS of the situation. Well I am sad because MY FDH knows that we bought the same dress and when she walks down the isle in it first, he will then have seen my dress. OH WHAT TO DO!! I've been looking for HOURS for maybe a different one but in my mind I keep coming back to the Original dress. and I have spoken to ALL my other friends and family and they keep saying when I saw my wife walk down the isle I will never forget the way she looked . . . . . all right DIS'ers I need all the opinons I can get and maybe even some pixie dust because this is going to be a hard one to figure out.

 

[Firefly Girl]

God how tough! Ok if you really really REALLY feel this is the perfect dress for you then you're gonna have to just get over it (and i mean that in the nicest possible way). As much as it would be nice to think you can talk her into changing dresses, you have to be both realistic and adult.

On the other hand, is it possible you can go shopping for dresses again? Find one you like even better? it's possible the dress shop will let you out of your deposit if you explain the situation, if not you can either lose your deposit or take the first dress and sell it on eBay or thru theknot.com

Good luck!

 

[hmgolden]

That's a tough situation. I think that if you really are in love with the dress, wear it. Once your FH sees you in it, he'll forget your friend ever wore the same dress.

If you can't get over her walking down the aisle in the dress first, then I would follow Firefly Girl's advice.

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

That sounds like a really tricky situation. But I doubt your husband will even think about your friend or recognize it as the same dress when he sees you walking down the aisle.

From my experience with my fiance he hardly pays any attention to details when we go to weddings.

 

[gradtchr]

I actually had two friends who got married about a month apart and I went to both weddings. Their gowns were both gorgeous and I didn't think anything about them being the same until we were all together talking about how they saved money. Turns out they split the cost of the dress and they both wore it. You could have fooled me, one kind of dressed it down and the other dressed it up. If that makes sense. Even looking at their pictures knowing it was the same dress it didn't look it.

Even if your friend wears it first unless you are identical twins you are going to look different in it. You will have different touches such as jewelry and flowers that will make it different and unique. When he sees her in it he will see a friend but when he sees you you will be lit up and radiant which brings a totally different quality to the dress.

I'd just chalk it up to great minds think alike and enjoy your perfect for you dress.


Beth

 

[PryncessChrysty]

I think you should go for it!! I know it's a big disappointment, and rightfully so. But I think that if you love the dress that much, and if you know it's the right one, I would just try to swallow those feelings and go with it. I'm sure you both look very different in it, and if you both make sure your accessories are not similar. Maybe the two of you could get together to make sure that you don't have similar hair styles, jewelry, veils, and the type and color of flowers in your bouquet. All of those things can create very different looks for the dress.

One thing though, I would try not to bring it up to your DFI too much between now and then. Chances are, if he's not reminded of that fact, he'll more than likely forget about it until someone brings it up. That's how my DH2B is anyway. That way, when you are at your friend's wedding he won't even realize that her dress is the same as the one you'll be wearing. And if that's the case, he probably won't even notice her dress at all. Regardless, when he sees you in the dress, he's only going to be thinking about how beautiful you look. Certainly not about how it's the same dress that he saw your friend wearing. More than likely, he's just going to be looking at YOU, anyway. And how beautiful YOU look, not the dress itself.

I hope you are happy with whatever decision you make!!

....and here's a little bit of PD for you!!

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

If this is your perfect dress, don't worry about it. You two will probably have different hair styles, different jewelry, etc, so you can make your dress your own! Besides, as important as the dress is, your fiance will be looking at your smile and your eyes when you walk down the aisle, not whether or not he has seen your dress before. Forget about the fact that you know someone else who has the same one, just feel like a princess and enjoy getting married!

 

[wildviper]

As a man & dh I can only paraphrase Steve Martin in "Father of the Bride". "I know I will never remember what Nina wore that day but I know I'll never forget how she looked." I think most men are the same way. We don't remember the details but we never forget the moment.

I say; wear the dress and make the moment yours.

 

[Firefly Girl]

It's totally true what they said about your fiancee not recognizing it once you wear it, to them a white dress is a white dress is a white dress!

 

[jodistar]

Totally just my opinion - but I would stick with your gown....Sure, by that time he would have already seen the dress but he didn't see you in the dress and that makes all of the difference. I think - I totally understand though how you could be upset.

 

[EvilinaDM101]

SO! First off, I would like to THANK everyone for their thoughts and opinons about this CRAZY situation. I went to the bridal shop and spoke with my consultant about the situation and she looked up my friends dress and . . . . IT'S NOT THE SAME DRESS!!! I have no idea why my friend was SO sure that we had the same dress. I mean it is the same style but still TOTALLY different. Here is a picture of HER dress (sorta, it's the closet I could find online, her ACTUAL dress is a Cosmobella 7044) just imagin this dress with a flower on the hip and it's pretty much the dress

and here is a picture of MY dress it's a Demetrios 824

Well now you all can see for yourself. All in all I am sane again (at least for the time being) and thanks again! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!

 

[Rustyflwr3]

Im very glad everything worked out for you!!! Congratulations!

 

[hmgolden]

I'm so glad it all worked out for you. Those dresses are completely different!

 

[scarlett873]

i'm so happy it all worked out for you!!

and i LOVE LOVE LOVE your dress!!

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Knew everything would work out just fine. BOTH dresses are gorgeous by the way!

 

[mufasa0505]

Hurray!

 

[C.Ann]

I absolutely LOVE your dress! That is SOOOOOOO pretty! Now I understand why you just couldn't get that particular dress out of your mind..

Stunning - and the perfect dress for a WDW wedding!!!

Best of luck to you and your future DH..

 

[140905]

That's fantastic news, I bet you are so relieved ...really glad you decided on Dress B too - it's just gorgeous!

 

[diznygirl]

Sniff! I LOVE happy endings!!!

So happy for you - and your dress is just sooo pretty!

 

[ballroombelle]

I was on pins and needles reading your first post and am glad it worked out!

I have to admit I was shocked at the SHEER COINCIDENCE of two friends picking the same dress in the VAST OCEAN of wedding dress choices out there. Well, whew! You're going to be GORGEOUS!