What age to start dating?

[Disney Ella]

DH and I were having a discussion about this and he thinks it would be okay to let our DDs date at 14. I say that is way too young for dating. At that age I can see letting them go out with a mixed group of boys and girls, but I say no solo dating until they're 16. I just don't think 14 year olds are mature enough for dating or always have the best judgment. I should mention that we're not going to even have to worry about this for a while, but I feel the need to get this settled right now.

What age will you/have you let your kids solo date? If they're already dating, how did this age work out?

 

[Hillbeans]

I truly think it depends on the child.....some are mature and some are not. At 14 I could have cared less about dating. Now when I was 18, that was a different story - LOL.

That being said, maybe you could compromise at 15?

 

[Jolie C]

I had to be 16 before I could solo date and it didn't bother me much because it was the same age for most of my friends.

 

[SC Minnie]

35








Seriously, 14 is too young to solo date. I will not even let my daughter think about it until she is 16. She can hang out in 'groups' starting about 14 but no solo dates.

 

[Melora]

I think 16 is about right. My oldest started to date her boyfriend before then, a couple of months, but we knew him and kept a pretty good eye on what was going on. They've been together now for 16+ months. (I know because I hear about every single monthly anniversary.... )

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I made all these "rules" and then she got a boyfriend at 12, (for a short time & nothing serious & they are "just friends" now).

So I had to throw out my "rulebook in my head" so to speak and play it one day at a time. She is a good kid, student & I trusted her.

So I wouldn't make up "rules" but more like guidelines. She has to be trustworthy, good grades, talk to the parents, and have "rules" about the going out (movies, dances, etc.)

That is what I found works for us.

 

[mtemm]

I "dated" at 14, but they were daytime dates...we'd meet for movies or walk around downtown type of stuff. when I was a freshman I did some night dating because my boyfriend's friend was dating my older sister and we doubled (they were all juniors). By nearly 16 I was going out on my own for night dates.

I think it all depends on what is considered a date.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Since I have a boy -- 15 or 16 (maybe 14, but it'll depend on his maturity).

If I have a girl? 40 -- maybe 35 if I'm feeling generous

 

[sue1013]

I think it also depends on the age of the boy she wants to go out with. When my DD was 14 she was allowed to date but not someone that drove. To me it really isn't a date when the parents have to drive them to movies or wherever they're going. The driving age is 17 here at 16 she was allowed to date someone that drove.

 

[snoopy]

I was 14 when I started solo dating my now-husband.

With my kids, I want them to wait until they are 16.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

With a 12 year old and 9 year old DD, I say 16 is good. I teach at a HS and I see the results of girls going too far too fast and being given too much freedom too soon.
Robin M.

 

[JetMom]

I wasn't allowed to go out with anyone in a car until I had my driver's liscense. the rationale being--that I could drive the car home in case of an emergency.

I was allowed to meet friends for movies, bowling, skating etc..if a grown-up dropped off and picked up from about the 8th grade. (I turned 14 in the middle of 8th grade).

It always seemed reasonable to me and I plan on following similar rules with my children.

 

[TalkisCheap]

I can go out in groups now(I'm 13) and I won't be able to date alone until I'm 16. My parents said if they knew the boy, maybe a little earlier, but around then. I have no problem with that. I see some of these girls totally wrapped up in this whole 'dating' thing, and it makes me glad I can't date, and I'm just a normal kid.


But, at 16, I think I'll be ready for those dates

 

[Disney Ella]

Originally posted by JetMom
I wasn't allowed to go out with anyone in a car until I had my driver's liscense. the rationale being--that I could drive the car home in case of an emergency.

I like that. It sounds reasonable and that way the kids couldn't accuse me of just trying to be mean.

 

[Beth76]

I think 16 is a good age. However, perhaps 15 might be better (assumming neither teen is driving yet). That way they get some experience dating while still being driven around by parents. Then they can graduate to alone-dating when they're able to drive. But, of course, it would all depend on the individual. I think "group" dates are OK starting around 13 or 14.

 

[Figaro]

My kids are both adults now, but neither of them were allowed to date until they were 16. My youngest complained pretty much continually from age 14 1/2 until she turned 16 and then she waited until she was 17 to actually date(smile). We've talked about it since then and she told me that while she didn't appreciate it at the time, it was a LOT easier for her to have a built in excuse about dating and she focused more on school activities and grades because she wasn't so distracted by the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

 

[zurgswife]

I was thinking 40 also....


OK maybe I'll agree at 16....

 

[sm4987]

I would say 16. Junior in high school is a good time to try out dating to see how it goes.

 

[Idaho]

My kids won't be dating until they are 16 and that includes double dating or anything of the sort.

 

[jin diesel]

I didn't start dating till I was in 11th Grade (16). I never had an interest until then. I saw a lot of girls in Jr. High and High school act so stupid over boys that I made it a point to not be like them. I was more worried about getting OUT of high school so I could meet college guys

BTW, my parents were super-strict and growing up all I ever heard was their rule: no dating till you're 18. But when I turned 16, and showed an interest they bent the rules. I got really good grades and never got into any trouble or anything, so by the time it came up - they were ok with it.