What age does this start?

[Minnie824]

What age do girls start talking about and wanting 'boyfriends'? I don't mean like really dating, I mean, where they start talking about 'liking' boys. Early in elementary school? What grade? Just curious what I have to look forward to.

 

[singingpixie]

For me, I first asked my mom if I could go on a date in 4th grade (not that she let me, but it was the first time I really wanted to). I liked boys as early as first grade though- I can still probably name all of my grade school crushes by year.

 

[just4today]

I've found it's usually around 2nd grade for many girls.

 

[JB111107]

depends on the kids, really. My DD has been boy crazy...always. She's in 4th grade now but still talks about the boys from her kindergarten class that she had crushes on...all the way up to the Jonas Brothers.

I think she was born that way. I wish I knew where she got it from though. She is prissy and very girly. I am so...not! I was always a tomboy, and I was the girl that was friends with all the guys but never wanted to be bothered with dating any of them. I didn't have a serious relationship until I was in college.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes it really depends on the kids. My dd's were never boy crazy.

My 17yodd has a BF now and my 12yodd says she is never going to marry or have kids.
She wants to be rich and famous.

 

[powellrj]

I was going to say around 3rd grade was when I first started noticing it. Of course, there have been kids that were going out together in preschool and now in High school they are still known as the "players"

 

[bsnyder]

Obviously, there are always "early bloomers" and "late bloomers" on this, but I think it generally becomes an interest on the part of a majority of any group of girls in 5th or 6th grade. And by 8th grade, their friendships become volatile on a daily basis in large part because of all the "talking and wanting boyfriends".

DD just finished that 8th grade year and it was a very trying time.

 

[tmarquez]

DD(5) talked about having a boyfriend in preschool. They sat together at lunch, played on the playground together, and hugged goodbye. Not really any different thatn her regular friends, but she did definately say he was her boyfriend as opposed to other boys that were just her friends. They planned on getting married. She said she would go live with him once I died.

She is almost 6 now and definately is interested in boys in a way...not like older kids, but it's the beginning.

I remember having a "boyfriend" in 1st grade. We even snuck away once while the nuns were playing duck duck goose with the other kids and kissed!

 

[Becky2005]

I think she was born that way. I wish I knew where she got it from though. She is prissy and very girly. I am so...not! I was always a tomboy, and I was the girl that was friends with all the guys but never wanted to be bothered with dating any of them. I didn't have a serious relationship until I was in college.

That sounds like my DD except she's not really a tomboy. She might be changing her mind now. Although she basically just hangs out with the guys and finds there is less drama there. She has no desire to date the guys she hangs out with at the moment. It's kind of funny as the girls wonder how she can *talk* to them -- from what she tells me she thinks the girls are crazy & can't figure out why they think it's that big of a deal to talk to the boys. She tells me...well DUH...you just go up to them and say "Hi" -- no big deal. DD has 3 annoying brothers so she's used to guys.

She hung out with them in Middle School too and the other girls just thought they were annoying & couldn't figure out how DD could handle it (umm....that 3 annoying brothers comes into play again -- she LIVES with their antics, she's used to it!).

A few years ago all boys had cooties even if she did hang out with them. Now they don't have cooties but so far no one she seems interested in dating.

She did have crushes on Zac Efron there for a while but I don't think that is in the same level as the girls having crushes on the boys at school.

I guess it all depends -- I do know of other girls talking about "boyfriends" in grade school.

 

[RumpleMom]

IMHO the girls who grow up being around boys, and knowing how to talk to them as a group of friends are the girls who are most successful in life, meaning more mature, less prone to drama and more successful in their career. My opinion and my experience.

I have always encouraged both DD to bring their friends home, boys and girls. I call this the "herd". For a long time the "herd" was DD, her closest girlfriend, and 5 guys. No one was boyfriend and girlfriend. They just enjoyed going to the movies and many baseball games together. I fed the herd many pizzas. As everyone got older, they started to get boyfriends and girlfriends, but this group of friends still stays in touch as friends. They even stop in to say hello when in town. Maybe it's the food? hmmmm...

 

[JimmyPicker]

My son is in Pre-K (4 years old). Parent-Teacher Conferences were this week, and when I went, the teacher said that he had only one problem.

That Hannah (a girl in his class) is in love with him.

So some kids start pretty early.

 

[scottishduffy]

I had my first 'crush' in kindy. A little boy named Gregory who was my best friend. We really were just best buddies but everyone else called us boyfriend/girlfriend so we went with it. I believe we kissed (a peck) on the playground once and assumed that meant we were married.

When I was a nanny Sam got her first crush in 3rd grade. She went on to detail how this boy was "The 2nd cutest in the class but #1 for being nice, and nice was more important". He wooed her by throwing his extra dodgeballs to her when they were playing Warball on the playground. I thought it was sweet... her parents had a conniption and grounded her for 2 weeks when they heard she had a crush and told her she wasn't allowed to talk about or to Boy's until she was grown.

 

[paintnolish]

I have been hearing about crushes and boyfriends since dd (2nd gr) started K! I hear it from her friends, too, and teachers always say it is pretty common these days. I also find out, from her, who likes ds (3rd gr.). I am going to be in trouble with that boy...blonde haired, blue eyed, goof ball...always been a chick magnet.

 

[Camicar]

Luckily, dd has never been boy crazy. She's had her little crushes on Hollywood types from a young age, but that didn't translate into liking a real boy until about 7th grade. Even now at 15, she doesn't feel any urgency to have a boyfriend. I asked her about it and she said, "Oh geez, it's so much drama, who wants that? And they always want sex or they'll break up with you and I'm not having sex, so I might as well save them the trouble and not go out with them in the first place." LOL

 

[Kath2003]

There's a big difference in 'boy awareness' between my 6th graders and 7th graders, so generally some time that year!

 

[VirtuallyMe]

Oldest DD had a boy bringing her presents when she was in first grade (and he was a 3rd grader)- it never stopped. She and her friends seemed to start with the boy craziness though closer to 3rd grade-

Youngest dd- although she had a "boyfriend" in 2nd grade- she has not really entered that boy crazy stage yet- and neither have most of her friends and they are in 5th grade. I've always though- (happily) that dd #2 and her friends are maturing more slowly than dd #1 and her friends did.

As a Girl Scout leader- I'd have to say 3rd-5th grade seems to be average- by middle school for sure for most girls.

 

[NVDisMom]

My DD11 had a boyfriend before she started school. Kyle lived across the street, they grew up together and he was always such a little gentleman. The we moved away after 1st grade. DD11 still compares every boy to Kyle (they still see each other periodically through the year). This is the first year (6th grade) a boy has lived up to the standard. She describes that standard as being smart, like to read, and treat her as well as her Daddy, because Kyle always did. Makes me smile every time. I can't complain.

DD9 has been boy crazy since K. Every year she has a revolving door of boys that she has a crush on. I try very hard to react with positivity, simply asking if he is nice to her.

They both swear they've never kissed a boy. DD9 still thinks its gross, DD11 says she has to be 16. Again, I'm good with that.

DD11's K teacher said K was the worst, it was like highschool, crushes and boy talk all over the place. So it seems fairly normal. I think more emphasis is put on the boy/girl relationship in middle school though. ugh

 

[MushyMushy]

For my DD it started in kindergarten with the crushes. Some girls had boyfriends in 4th-5th grade, but by middle school it's really common for kids to be "dating." I've seen 8th grade couples acting like old married couples. It's scary!

And some parents around here really encourage it -- it's so freaky. I was at the dentist once and the hygienist was telling me about her middle school son and girlfriend and how furious she was that the girlfriend broke up with him after a whole year of dating. Come on now! At that age, they shouldn't be in long-term relationships -- at least in my opinion.

My son was always a loyal boyfriend, dating the same girl for a year at a time or longer. While I love that he's so loyal, shouldn't that be a trait that comes later? I don't want him to cheat, go from girl to girl, or mess around, nothing like that. I just don't like it when younger kids get so serious. He's a senior now and it's different, but when he was in those younger grades, I thought he should be playing the field more. I feel the same way about girls.

Am I nuts for feeling that way about dating? To me, it should be casual until they get in their older teens and 20s.

 

[maelstrom]

I had a "boyfriend" in pre-school.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

My mom always teases me that I had my first boyfriend and my first kiss in pre-school. I had a boyfriend in kindergarten and so on!!! I was a tomboy and hung out with all the boys, and then I was very boy crazy!

My twin step daughters are different. One was boy crazy in 4th grade, and the other is just starting to get boy crazy in 6th grade.