"Were You Trying?"

[klmall]

I've made the mistake of letting people know we're trying. Now everyone wants to know if I'm pregant yet.

That's why DH and I never told anyone we were trying most of the years that we were! It was hard enough going through all the procedures as it was but people still asked anyway! Thank goodness, after 9 years I finally got pregnant with DS! FYI - With DS's red hair complete strangers would stop me in the mall and want to rub his head or pick him up!

And congratulations to all here who are expecting!

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

Personally, I hate the mere word. IMO, "trying" is a word that should *never* be uttered aloud in the context of the subject of pregnancy unless one is sitting inside an OB's examination room. In any other context it is TMI, whether asked or volunteered.

I agree with you. No offense to those that have announced they are "trying" to friends and family, but you do realize you are giving people visuals of you and your spouse having a romp

Not cool

 

[katerkat]

But....

Are you going to find out what it is?

Are you planning on drugs at the labor?

Will you be breastfeeding?

If it's a boy, will you be circumcizing?

Are you going back to work? When?

Is s/he sleeping through the night?

Are you STILL breastfeeding?

When are you going to have another one?

Don't you think s/he's too old for a pacifier?

Why are you having another one so soon/late?

 

[mla2177]

But....

Are you going to find out what it is?

Are you planning on drugs at the labor?

Will you be breastfeeding?

If it's a boy, will you be circumcizing?

Are you going back to work? When?

Is s/he sleeping through the night?

Are you STILL breastfeeding?

When are you going to have another one?

Don't you think s/he's too old for a pacifier?

Why are you having another one so soon/late?

What about................................

Are they walking yet
Are they talking yet
What? Their not potty trained yet!!!!!!

 

[Kahana-ri]

First Congratulations!

Same things happened to me and I was so surprised! DH & I have been married for almost five years and this is our second pregnancy.
So many times I was asked, 'Was this planned?", "Is this a good thing?", "Were you trying?"
Now, that I am about to have this baby, the new question is 'So will this be your last?"

 

[helenabear]

Off topic, but...Elaine, I am aware of your story and I just wanted to say how sorry I am that happened to you. I really admire the fact that you still come on threads like mine (and on the TTC thread) to cheer and counsel others. I wish you every happiness and lots of baby success in the future.

To be a bit off topic as well, you are a sweetie! In all honesty I am ready to talk about what happened with me to those who it might help or care to listen. I was fortunate enough to find peace with the situation

I do really find all questions like that rude. Since I've been through a bit in the last year or so, I've become more aware of how any question regarding family/fertility can be really touchy. Heck, even the stupid "Have a Happy Period" crap I see on Always products drives me bonkers now

I'll agree with the others... a lot of people are kind of "me me me" attitudes and very nosey. I can understand being curious with good friends and talking about things, but not with aquaintences and strangers!

 

[my4kids]

But....

Are you going to find out what it is?

Are you planning on drugs at the labor?

Will you be breastfeeding?

If it's a boy, will you be circumcizing?

Are you going back to work? When?

Is s/he sleeping through the night?

Are you STILL breastfeeding?

When are you going to have another one?

Don't you think s/he's too old for a pacifier?

Why are you having another one so soon/late?

and then after the baby is born you have to deal with the competitive mothers at play group:

" So how many ounces does s/he drink a day"

"How many ounces do you get when you pump"

"Is s/he sitting up?"

How much did s/he weigh at their last well-visit?"

My personal favorite... "What percentile for height/weight is s/he in?"


When I told my pediatrician at a well visit for my 4th when he was about 6 months how tired I was of competitive moms bragging about their child "thriving" at the 90th percentile, and wanting to compare percentiles like we we comparing grades on a college exam....he was horrified. He said "no wonder there is a childhood obesity epidemic in America" Some moms think that if their child is at the top of the chart that they are doing a good job and "winning". Being anywhere on the chart is healthy and normal. If my genetically small kid was in the 90th percentile, he would be obese.

Sigh. Rant over.