Well add me to the list...cheating spouse

[ntburns22]

I have no clue what to do at this point. I am so lost and heartbroken. I recently found out that my husband has been cheating on me with a female in another state. He works on the railroad. So when he tells me that he got called in for work he would go and drive and spend a couple days with her.

I contacted a lawyer yesterday and packed up the kids and went to my sister's. I am back home now though because he was having a fit that DD would miss a day of school.

The thing is I still love him deep down....Is this normal?????

 

[sugarpie]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Charade]

 

[mickeyboat]

I am so so sorry.

Denae

 

[Savsmommy]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Cruisin]

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I am so sorry.

I think it is normal to still love him. You have built a life with him and have children. It's hard to just end those feelings. If you do decide you want to forgive him, then both of you need to seek counseling (together and individual).

 

[Pixie Tales]

I'm sorry


My parents were married 35 years before my Mom found out my Dad had a whole other Family. He has a girlfriend, a daughter, and a son oh and a grandbaby on the way. His GF and children even use OUR last name.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

If both you and DH want to work on your marriage then seek joint and individual counseling ASAP. If he wants to save the marriage then he needs to cut off ALL contact with this woman NOW and work to regain your trust (NOT an easy task!).

Good luck and if you need someone to vent to feel free to PM me. Been there done that in the past.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

That is so awful! Hugs to you *and* your kids.

 

[teacups]

What advice did your sister give you? My advice is controversial, so Ill keep it to myself... but I do think you should talk to someone, be it family or a counselor. I wish you peace in your heart.

 

[NMAmy]

The thing is I still love him deep down....Is this normal?????

Yes, it is. It's hard to turn that off immediately--you've built a life with this man and it's really hard to be yanked out of that life through no fault of your own. It's normal to want to keep the status quo even if it wasn't that great. You need to think about what's best for you and your children.

I'm so sorry. The best advice I can give is to tell you that, as hard as it is to believe right now, your life will get better.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[Ava83]

I am so sorry.

 

[ntburns22]

At this point everyone is just listening to me. No one wants to say anything one way or another.

His job offers counsiling and I asked him to get the info for me today. Now if we go into couples or if I go by myself it is all unknown.

He says he no longer loves me and has been depressed for awhile. She makes him feel good again.

 

[sugarpie]

If I were you I would see if I could get individual counseling. He's not making decisions about what's best for his family. You need to take care of yourself.

 

[sajetto]

I am so sorry

 

[java]

Having a fit because dd would miss a day of school? Um hello I think there are some bigger issues to deal with right now. He sounds like he is trying to stall for time. I can totally get being in love with him still. Only you know if this is a deal breaker for you. For me it would be a deal breaker. I couldn't get over the lying. But only you know what will work for you. Did he tell you? Oh it just sucks doesn't it. Why don't they think it through? I am so sorry.

 

[clarabelle]

Im sorry.
This may be the wrong response -but I am really angry on your behalf.
I remember some of your posts about how much he worked- and I see the pic of your kids and I get really steamed.
I wish there were something to say to make you feel better.

 

[helenabear]

I'm so sorry