Weird odd Offender Registry situation?

[bunkkinsmom]

OK, so DH and I have a small internet network and we produce a couple of shows. One of them is a community based talk show, and the other is a sports show. So last week on the talk show we had a guest on that the host of the show has known for a couple of years. They both work in ministry and they know a lot of the same people, but I wouldn't call them "friends". They have both participated in a couple of the same events.

So the day after the show, the host gets a phone call from a lady saying that she is surprised we would have a registered sex offender on such a family oriented show.

WHAT?!?!?!

So I looked him up, and sure enough........

So the lady goes on to tell us about what happened and how it was her 7 year old daughter that he took "indecent liberties" with. But she has pictures (recent ones) of her daughter and his daughter together all over her facebook. The two girls are still best friends. She is still friends with his wife. Their houses back up to each other.

Now here's the thing, if some man took "indecent liberties" with my 7 year old, I would remove myself from the situation entirely for fear of punishing him myself, if you catch my drift.

Something is wrong with this entire situation. There is more to this than what is evident. But if I remember the article correctly, the man PLEAD GUILTY to the offense?

 

[MizTink]

OK, so DH and I have a small internet network and we produce a couple of shows. One of them is a community based talk show, and the other is a sports show. So last week on the talk show we had a guest on that the host of the show has known for a couple of years. They both work in ministry and they know a lot of the same people, but I wouldn't call them "friends". They have both participated in a couple of the same events.

So the day after the show, the host gets a phone call from a lady saying that she is surprised we would have a registered sex offender on such a family oriented show.

WHAT?!?!?!

So I looked him up, and sure enough........

So the lady goes on to tell us about what happened and how it was her 7 year old daughter that he took "indecent liberties" with. But she has pictures (recent ones) of her daughter and his daughter together all over her facebook. The two girls are still best friends. She is still friends with his wife. Their houses back up to each other.

Now here's the thing, if some man took "indecent liberties" with my 7 year old, I would remove myself from the situation entirely for fear of punishing him myself, if you catch my drift.

Something is wrong with this entire situation. There is more to this than what is evident. But if I remember the article correctly, the man PLEAD GUILTY to the offense?

does the man still live with his daughter and her mom?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am not going to question the "lady" who called. I am going to assume that the sex offender does not live with the "lady" any longer.

So do you think you should screen people that come onto the show you produce? I guess that is the more important thing to consider here.

It could certainly be a PR nightmare for your show if it goes the wrong way in the media. People could be turned off by your selection of choosing to have a sex offender on. As a producer, I suppose it falls under your job description to screen guests.

Now I know you did not know about the sex offender as a guest, but it seems that people don't care about that detail in the end.

 

[jmkjr72]

yes i find it hard to belive that some one could still live that close that did something to a young child

i myself proably wouldnt have made ti thru the trial before doing something

but some times there are some odd holes in the laws that will requre you to go on the registrey

 

[tvguy]

Wait a minute. This guy is a registered sex offender and involved in the ministry in your community?
I don't think the question is on you having him on a show, I think the question is why is he allowed to be involved in the ministry in your community?

I question that value of Megan's Law type sex offender lists. It's just an example of people looking for easy solutions to complex problems.
I was involved in Little League for years, and we did criminal background checks on all adults in contact with the kids, and when Megan's law came around ,did checks there too. As a detective in our local sheriff's sexual assault detail told us, the people on the Megans Law list aren't what you have to protect your kids from, the people you have to watch for are the ones who have never been caught, or have never done anything wrong before.

 

[scrapquitler]

So the day after the show, the host gets a phone call from a lady saying that she is surprised we would have a registered sex offender on such a family oriented show.

Now here's the thing, if some man took "indecent liberties" with my 7 year old, I would remove myself from the situation entirely for fear of punishing him myself, if you catch my drift.

WAIT A MINUTE....so it's NOT okay for your husband to have this guy on an internet talk show because he's a sex offender, but it's OKAY for her to have her daughter THE VICTIM still playing at his house???

Am I the only one that sees a huge amount of hypocrisy here???

 

[bunkkinsmom]

does the man still live with his daughter and her mom?

Yes, he is still married to his wife of 20+ years, the mother of his 3 girls.

I am not going to question the "lady" who called. I am going to assume that the sex offender does not live with the "lady" any longer.

I'm not sure if I am answering a question, but the lady who is mother to the victim is not the man's wife.

So do you think you should screen people that come onto the show you produce? I guess that is the more important thing to consider here.

It could certainly be a PR nightmare for your show if it goes the wrong way in the media. People could be turned off by your selection of choosing to have a sex offender on. As a producer, I suppose it falls under your job description to screen guests.

Now I know you did not know about the sex offender as a guest, but it seems that people don't care about that detail in the end.

I completely agree! We will definitely make sure we run some basic screens on guests in the future. This is a very small internet show, we normally have 10-15 people in the chat room live and maybe another 20 that watch it once it's recorded and posted. HOWEVER, in my opinion, I think one person watching is great and I wouldn't want to be associated with this at all! We have definitely learned a valuable lesson with this.

yes i find it hard to belive that some one could still live that close that did something to a young child

i myself proably wouldnt have made ti thru the trial before doing something

but some times there are some odd holes in the laws that will requre you to go on the registrey

Yeah, I am with you. All I know for sure is he plead guilty and he got 3 years probation. He is required to be on the registry for 10 years.

Wait a minute. This guy is a registered sex offender and involved in the ministry in your community?
I don't think the question is on you having him on a show, I think the question is why is he allowed to be involved in the ministry in your community?

I question that value of Megan's Law type sex offender lists. It's just an example of people looking for easy solutions to complex problems.
I was involved in Little League for years, and we did criminal background checks on all adults in contact with the kids, and when Megan's law came around ,did checks there too. As a detective in our local sheriff's sexual assault detail told us, the people on the Megans Law list aren't what you have to protect your kids from, the people you have to watch for are the ones who have never been caught, or have never done anything wrong before.

I totally see that point. It's scary.

WAIT A MINUTE....so it's NOT okay for your husband to have this guy on an internet talk show because he's a sex offender, but it's OKAY for her to have her daughter THE VICTIM still playing at his house???

Am I the only one that sees a huge amount of hypocrisy here???

Uh, I'm not sure of the question? Are you saying I'm being hypocritical? If I wasn't clear, I totally DO NOT think it's ok to have the victim still playing at his house. And no, I don't think it's ok to have someone on a talk show speaking about ministry when they are a registered sex offender.

So now our host is wondering what his next steps should be, as far as distancing all of us from this. We are taking that episode offline, and I guess the question is what would you do after that? Would you confront him about the situation? Would you issue a statement about the situation in regards to the show? I am just about certain that his offender status is NOT known in the community. We are all pretty tight in the ministry around here and we have known him for 2 years and had no idea. Lord knows the way church people talk we would've heard if anyone knew


Thanks for your opinions!

 

[scrapquitler]

No, I was thinking that it was hypocritical of the mother of the victim... the mother of the victim (apparently, if I read right) allows her daughter, the victim, play with the daughter of the molester, at the home where the molester still lives. Yet the mother of the victim is complaining that the molester was allowed to speak on an internet radio show? To me, that seems hypocritical. (My daughter can still play with his daughter, at his home, but he shouldn't be on an internet talk show)??

 

[bunkkinsmom]

No, I was thinking that it was hypocritical of the mother of the victim... the mother of the victim (apparently, if I read right) allows her daughter, the victim, play with the daughter of the molester, at the home where the molester still lives. Yet the mother of the victim is complaining that the molester was allowed to speak on an internet radio show? To me, that seems hypocritical. (My daughter can still play with his daughter, at his home, but he shouldn't be on an internet talk show)??

OH OK! I GOT YA! Yeah I totally agree. Seems as if the girls are bff's at school but the daughter is not allowed to their home. At least that's what the victim's mom says. What an awful thing to happen to a child. It's amazing to me how many people go through this!

 

[rie'smom]

The mom whose daughter was molested is a nut case. If I had to seel everything I own, I'd make sure to get the heck away from the man. Her parenting should be called into question.

 

[Jex]

You should expose him on your show. I mean if people boycotted Amazon for a book they carried, don't you think the people that attend the church or live in the community deserve to know?

 

[bunkkinsmom]

You should expose him on your show. I mean if people boycotted Amazon for a book they carried, don't you think the people that attend the church or live in the community deserve to know?

Yes I agree! I believe we need to explain why we are removing that episode from the website. I don't want to get in any trouble for slander, so I am looking into what we can and can't say. I am pretty sure I can say what is public record.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I don't think there's any need to expose the man's criminal history on the OP's internet talk show.

Her question was about the hypocricy of the woman who called after the show and criticized having him as a guest but who still allows her own daughter the victim to play with his daughter. It wasn't about him at all, and the purpose of her talk show isn't to "out" the criminal records of anyone, guest or not.

The sex offender registry is readily available online, and likely through one's local police department for persons without computer access.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I don't think there's any need to expose the man's criminal history on the OP's internet talk show.

Her question was about the hypocricy of the woman who called after the show and criticized having him as a guest but who still allows her own daughter the victim to play with his daughter. It wasn't about him at all, and the purpose of her talk show isn't to "out" the criminal records of anyone, guest or not.

The sex offender registry is readily available online, and likely through one's local police department for persons without computer access.

And herein lies the next obstacle. I am torn about this. Granted I have now learned to check guests out before they come on the show, even if you think you know who they are. However, here's the example that keeps running through my head. I have 3 kids, 8, 6, and 4. If my kids had been at the office that night for the show and I had to run to the store, and my host knew that this man had a criminal history and did not tell me. Let's say the host had to run to the bathroom (or whatever) and left my kids alone with this man for even 10 seconds, I would be livid at him for putting my kids in that situation, even if nothing happened. Now keep in mind the host of the show is a very good friend and it would be totally normal for me to run a quick errand and leave my kids with him. They love him! They call him Batman. At any rate, I now am not sure what to do about this situation. Do I do nothing and then feel extremely guilty if something happens to someone else's kids? I mean, this man uses his past as part of his testimony. You know, the "I have been freed from drug abuse" speech. But of course he leaves out the molestation. And I understand why, he wouldn't be allowed to work with kids, and who really comes back from that. ICK, this is a tough one.

 

[olwyngdh]

Remember, just because someone is a registered sex offender and on the Megan's list, it doesn't mean he molested the child. If she walked into the bathroom on him and saw something she shouldn't have, and then told someone at school about it, he would be prosecuted for "exposing himself" to a child and would be a registered sex offender because of it. Please find out the truth about the situation before sanctioning the man. The list is often misleading and pretty useless overall.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

Remember, just because someone is a registered sex offender and on the Megan's list, it doesn't mean he molested the child. If she walked into the bathroom on him and saw something she shouldn't have, and then told someone at school about it, he would be prosecuted for "exposing himself" to a child and would be a registered sex offender because of it. Please find out the truth about the situation before sanctioning the man. The list is often misleading and pretty useless overall.

Yes but aren't the details just he said she said? Could someone really be convicted of indecent liberties with a minor for a child walking in on them going to the bathroom? Does anyone know where I can find the actual details of the case?

 

[Agri]

Yes but aren't the details just he said she said? Could someone really be convicted of indecent liberties with a minor for a child walking in on them going to the bathroom? Does anyone know where I can find the actual details of the case?

Yes, not to mention the amount of statutory rapers on the list - who were 18/19 and had consensual sex with their 16/17 year old SO, but they're on the list! Chances are you won't be able to find out anything about the case without asking those directly involved since it involves a very young child.

So what if he's on the list? You don't owe anyone an explanation of why you are not keeping the show in your archive. And you certainly don't have a right to be broadcasting the man's personal business. So many people see the words "sex offender" and want to broadcast it to everyone and their brother without knowing what the offense is in the first place. My opinion? You've learned to screen your guests and you're not going to keep the video in your archive - problem solved.

Sure - you could broadcast to everyone and his brother and uncle - but do you really want to be *that* person?

 

[Inigo]

Remember, just because someone is a registered sex offender and on the Megan's list, it doesn't mean he molested the child. If she walked into the bathroom on him and saw something she shouldn't have, and then told someone at school about it, he would be prosecuted for "exposing himself" to a child and would be a registered sex offender because of it. Please find out the truth about the situation before sanctioning the man. The list is often misleading and pretty useless overall.

Getting put on the Sex Offender/Violent Person list is not automatic. There has to be a separate hearing on the matter, and the judge has to find the person deserves to be on the list based on the offense and the likelihood of recidivism. It's not an easy standard to meet. It's very unlikely someone would be put on the registry for accidentally showing his ***** while urinating. It could happen, but doubtful it would meet the standards for registration unless the judge is an idiot. And the case would most likely be appelled if it were ordered.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

Getting put on the Sex Offender/Violent Person list is not automatic. There has to be a separate hearing on the matter, and the judge has to find the person deserves to be on the list based on the offense and the likelihood of recidivism. It's not an easy standard to meet. It's very unlikely someone would be put on the registry for accidentally showing his ***** while urinating. It could happen, but doubtful it would meet the standards for registration unless the judge is an idiot. And the case would most likely be appelled if it were ordered.

I guess if nothing else I will be more educated about these offenders as well as the people that we associate with. As far as being "that" person, I'm not sure that I really care what that means. I don't think letting people know that there is someone in ministry that they might trust that has been convicted of indecent liberties with a minor is being some sort of snitch or fence post gossip. However, I also do not take that sort of "outing" lightly, which is why I was asking if anyone knew a way to officially find out the specifics of the case. Any info on that would be much appreciated!

 

[Inigo]

I guess if nothing else I will be more educated about these offenders as well as the people that we associate with. As far as being "that" person, I'm not sure that I really care what that means. I don't think letting people know that there is someone in ministry that they might trust that has been convicted of indecent liberties with a minor is being some sort of snitch or fence post gossip. However, I also do not take that sort of "outing" lightly, which is why I was asking if anyone knew a way to officially find out the specifics of the case. Any info on that would be much appreciated!

Our state sex offender/violent person registry tells what the charge was which got the person placed on the registry. If it's Child Molestation, Sexual Misconduct with a Minor, Rape, whatever, it will list it on the page with the person's demographics.

I work in probation, and see our county's sex offenders on a regular basis when they come in for their appointments with their officer. They are some of the nicest people (well, not the violent offenders obviously) you'll ever meet. They're really good at being friendly, which is how some of them groomed their victims.

When I was hired, they considered me for the sex offender supervising officer or as a juvenile delinquent supervising officer. Boy am I glad I got the juvenile position. I have to deal with the juvenile sex offenders, but there are fewer of them than there are adult sex offenders in our county.