Wednesday's "Back to Normal" Riddle

[jw50]

Ice n. A bad word we can't define here, so we'll just give an example: How to you ketch a polar bar? Well, fust you digs a hole in the ice. Then you sprankle peas awl round it. Now, when the polar bar stops to take a pea, you kicks him in the ice hole.

Ida Claire int. The saint Southerners turn to in moments of surprise: "Well, Ida Claire! If that don't beat all!

Idear n. Idea with overcompensation.

Idnit? Same problem as with bidnis—them "s's" before "n" again.

If that don't beat all! A phrase expressing surprise.

If'n conj. Variation of "if". (Southerners love their new suffix, -n, so much, they stick it everywhere. See young'n and his'n.

Ignert a. Not smart, as in "Dem Bammer boys shore are ignert!"

 

[jw50]

Jawjuh n. Southen state that gave us Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jimmy Carter. (Thanks.) The capital is Lanner: "My bruvver from Jawjuh—runs duh biggis junkyard in Lanner."

Jawl subj-pred. Contraction of "Did yall...?", as in "Jawl know whir I can git some cornbread 'n grits dis time a night?"


Kick up a ruckus verb phrase. Cause a commotion.

Kilt a.Past tense of kill: He kilt hisself a bar in dem dere woods.

Kin to a. Related to (someone)

Kissin kin n. Kith and kin as pernounced by fokes what don't lithp. Dem "th's" again.

 

[jw50]

Lanner n. Capital of Jawjuh. Uptown pronunciation: Lana.

Lawg n. What you cut trees up into.

Light bread n. Store-bought white bread, as opposed to corn bread and biscuits (real bread).

Like-to adv. Almost, nearly. "Hit like-to kilt d'man when he saw his boy a-wearin' a kilt."

Liver puddin n. Sausage made from highly peppered pig liver. Mmm-mmm, good! Better than haggis.

Looky int. What you say when you hear they're putting liver puddin on the table: "Well, looky, would you, at the nice liver puddin Lila Mae's a-puttin on the table."

Looky hyeer! v. Emphatic variant of "Looky." "Looky hyeer" and "Look a-here" are purt near the same.

Lord a'mercy! inter. What you say when thangs get out of control.

Lordy, lordy! int. Something else that works in a bad situation.

Lot n. Enclosure for the cows and mules by the barn.

 

[jw50]

Mash v. (1) Push (a button). (2) Squush up, as in "mash 'taters".

Mawnin n. The early part of the day.

Member v. Remember. (See also backer, Bammer, possum, Lanner, tater.) Antonym: dissermember.

Meer n. A looking glass.

Mess n. A peck a'trouble or a serving, as in "He et a big mess of greens afore they let him eat any pie."

Might could v. aux. Might be able to. Auxiliaries don't scare Southerners the way they scare Northerners; we string them together fearlessly, "I might coulda finished choppin the wood if'n hit hadn't rained."

Mighty adv. Substitute for very, which can't be used south of the Mason-Dixon line. Very is avoided in the South. See also "awfully".

Mommick n. To tire, wear out, frazzle (eastern NC).

Moo juice n. Milk. You figure it out.

Munt n. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, 'n I ain't heard from him in munts."

Murry n. (1) Marry; n. prop. (2) Mary; (3) Murray; a. (4) merry As in "Did Murry murry Murry, mama?" or "Show did—and a murry weddin hit were, too!"

 

[Mnementh]

what? huh? are you being sarcastic, oh subtle one?????

Actually, no, surprisingly. I was being quite serious this time

 

[jw50]

-n Suffix for creating nouns from adjectives: young-n, little-n, big-n, that-n over yonder. However, Southerners are so proud of it, they stick it on a lot of other words: if'n, his'n, her'n, sos'n, etc.

Nairy quan. Not one, none: "They ain't nairy (a) one in the house." Antonym of airy.

Nearbout adv. About, nearly: "Old Frosty, my horse, is nearbout dead he's so worn out."

Nigh (on) adv. Nearly, approaching: "We don't have no birf certificate for Bubba but he must be nigh on 70 year old."

No 'count a. Worthless

Nome adv. 1. Negative response to a woman (unemphatic for no, ma'am). 2. Contraction of know them, as in "Nome, days strangers; I don't nome 'tall.

 

[jw50]

Okry n. A poddy vegetable that cooks up slimy but delicious if you cook it up with a slice of fatback

On v. aux. Future tense marker, as in "I'm on gichu!" Etymology: Uptown English "going to" (believe it or not!)

Ornery a. Mean, hard to get along with.

Orshter n. A nasty marine bivalve whose looks belie its edibility.

Orta v. aux. Ought to, as in "You orta not tawk wif yore mouf full."

Outta kilter a. (1) Crooked. (2) Not working properly. "My frigerator's outta kilter and won't keep the bare cold."

 

[jw50]

Part n. (Usually plural) Region, area. "Ain't there no udder rednecks in these parts?"

Pastry n. Flat dumplings boiled in chicken fat with chunks of chicken. The PA Dutch call it "chicken pot pie".

Pea can n. The correct pronunciation of pecan (not pee-KAHN!—I can't help what it sounds like correctly pronounced.)

Pester v. Act like a pest: annoy, persistently bother.

Pitcher n. (1) A vessel for holding and pouring water. (2) A visual representation of something, as a photograph. The "t" is silent.

Pick on v. Pester someone in particular.

Pile (a) quan. A lot (of), as in "Everthang you sed is a pile a crap, Lonnie Sue!"

Pistol n. (1) Someone who is really good: "She's a pistol when it comes to churnin butter." (2) Someone who is unpredictable: "Sarah Lee Got married last night? She's a pistol, I'm atellin you!" Etymology: Old Yankee term referring to a small firearm.

Plain(a) a. Somewhat ugly, e.g. "She's a plain girl, ain't she, a-wearin that air tow-sack dress a her'n?"

Plane (a) adv. Downright, as in "That's plane ignert, whut you jes sed."

Play possum v. Act like you're asleepin or pretend in general.

Plumb adv. Completely: "Are you plumb crazy?"

Plunder v. Rummage around, as in "Who's been plunderin around in my underwear drawer 'n mixed up the dirty stuff with the clean stuff?"

Poach n. A place on the front of your house where you sit in the swing of a Sunday afternoon and watch the cars go by. Forerunner of the "deck".

Pocketbook n. A woman's purse (a bag is something different).

Poke n. (1) A sack, as in a pig in a poke; (2) pork, as in "Gimme wunna dem poke chops, hunny."

Polecat n. (1) Skunk; (2) a really bad person.

Pooch (out) v. Stick out: "Why yore lips pooched out like that, honey?"

Possum n. Opossum. Southerners are characteristically uninterested in what comes before the accented syllable of a word. See also backer, Bammer, gater, Lanner, member, tater.

Puny a. Weak, sickly, as in "Thank ah'll stay home; ah feel a little puny today."

Purdy, Purt a. Attractive, as in, "She's downright purdy." Fairly, "Hey, that came purt near hittin me!"

Purse n. pro.The capital of France.

Purt near adv. Nearly, close to.

 

[Lintasare]

Actually, no, surprisingly. I was being quite serious this time

But I thought you were always sarcastic.

 

[jw50]

Ranch n. A tool used for tight'nin boats. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup Ise tighnin duh boats on."

Rascal a. Mischievous person. That rascal

Reckon v. Think, figger. "I reckon he done got too big fer his britches, thinkin he's a lawyer."

Recollect v. Remember

Retard v. Past tense of retar. To have stopped working due to age "Paw retard when he hit 95."

Rye-cheer adv. Very close to the speaker, as in, "Why don chu build yore still rye-chere under the porch, Donnie Lou?"

Rile v. Stir something or someone up. Etymology: From Early High-Falutin roil (see also bile.)

Ruckus n. A loud noise or anything that makes one. Etymology: Early High-Falutin raucus, where it was bard from Latin.

 

[jw50]

-s Present tense suffix. "I knows, you knows, he/she/it knows; we knows, yall knows, they knows."

Saerdy n. The sixth day of the week.

Scalawag n. "a white Southerner acting in support of the reconstruction governments after the American Civil War often for private gain." -Merriam-Webster, 10th ed. (The reference of this word has become must broader lately.)

Scannel n. A mean person: "What a sorry scannel he is!" Etymology: Damyankee scoundrel.

Seed v. past tense of to see. Variant of seen: "I seed him jis d'ovver day."

Seeins how v. Since, it being the case, as in, "Well, I ain't fixin' your supper no more, Willy Joe, seeins how we's divorced now an all."

Seen v. Some people use this as the past tense of to see: "I seen him over yonder this mawnin."

Septin prep. With the exception of, as in, "Everbody ate his collards septin Rachael Ann."

Shed n. Rid, as in, "I just cain't git shed of this hyere cold."

Shore a. Positive, as in "Are you shore you know whir we are?" Shore doo

Shore doo adv. Definitely: "Do you luv orshters?" "Shore doo!"

Show n. Short for "picher show", a motion picture.

Smack (dab) a. Precisely, as in "smack dab in the middle."

Smart a. Diligent, enjoys working. "Ain's she smart; she's already cleaned up the mess Uncle Billy made!"

Smarts n. A kind of intelligence found down South. Etymology: derived via the suffix -s from the adjective "smart".

Someone pro. Doesn't exist in real Southern. You can only say somebody, anybody.)

Sorry a. No good, as in, "Ain't he a sorry scannel?!"

Sos'n conj. So that.

Sot (down) v. Past tense of sit, as in "Jis as soon as I sot down, them fokes started makin fun of my hercut."

Spell n. (1) A while, a stretch of time. (2) Trying to get the letters of a word in the right order. (It hain't easy.)

Squall v.To cry at the top of your lungs, as in a roomful of squallin' younguns.

Stob v. Accidentally hit your toe on something sticking up from the ground. Etymology: Middle High-Falutin stub (your toe), which arrived through normal channels.

Sticks, the n. Far from civilization; way out in the backwoods.

Still adv. (1) Yet; (2) distillery. (Again, all them unaccented syllables don't catch the attention of people born below the Mason-Dixon line.)

Story (tell a) n. Well, sorta, you know, tell a lie. For example, "That's a story, mama! I never told his girlfriend he et snails!"

Study v. Pay attention to, as in, "Lula Mae, you might as well stop amakin faces 'cause I ain't studin a thang you do!"

Sump'n n. Something.

Sump'n teet n. Food: "I hain't had sump'n teet since dinner.".

Sugar n. As in "Gimme some sugar": affection, a chance to snuggle your neck, huggin' or kissin' or both.

Supper n. The meal (supposed to be) et around 5 o'clock.

Swaller v. What you do after you chew sump'n teet up. (Overcompensating "r")

Swanny int. Doggone! Dadburned! "I swanny, if'n Billy Sue ain't done shot anudder 'possum!" (I swan works just as well.)

Swarp v. To run hog wild, cut up to beat the band: "Try'n git them 'ere young'ns to stop swarpin' all over the house!

 

[TwinkieMama]

Ok Joe- thank you for saving my riddle and providing an education at the same time.

 

[jw50]

Tar n. A rubber wheel, as in "Hot damn, I hope that brother o' mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

Tarred n. Tuckered out, exhausted, fatigued as to come home from work too tarred to hold a fork.

Tarnation An acceptable substitute in the presence of ladies for "damnation".

Tater n. The potato. (See comment under "coon" and "possum")

Tawk v. To communicate using language.

Tell the news vp.Scream bloody murder. Boy, ain't that young'n tellin the news?

Tetched a. Not quite all there, a brick or two shy a full load, sorta crazy. I don't know about that-air Sonny Boy; he seems a little tetched in the haid.

Tetchy a. A little irritable, easily annoyed. Don't be so tetchy; I just said that if brains wuz dynamite you couldn't blow the wax outen yer ears.

Thang n. Any object, concrete or otherwise. Etymology: City-slicker "thing".

Thank v. The ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

Their'n poss. pro. Predicate possessive pronoun for "their", for exampe: "Theys always atakin thangs that ain't their'n." Etymology: The other Southern suffix -n that is added to all possessive pronouns to make the predicate form (mine, yourn, his'n, our'n, their'n).

Them pro. Those. "Jimmy John, where in the world did you git them pants?"

Them-air pro. Variant of them: "Whirs them air nails I bawt, Willy Earl?"
"Why, they's rye-cheer, Uncle Bubba. If'n they'd abeen a snake, hit wood abicha."

Them-air yonder pro. Those not near by. "An by the way, whose is them-air pants (over) yonder?"

They pro. (1) They. (2) There, as in, "Theys more since in a bag a'hammers than they is in you!"

Thoe n. To chunk, toss. Very similar to throw without the R: "Thoe me dat ere munky ranch, Lureen, but don't aim it at muh head."

Tire n. A tall construction, often found in Europe. Usage: "If'n the Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise, I shore plan to see that Eyeful Tire when I go to Paris (Texas, that is)."

Toad v. Past tense of "tell", as in "I toad you so!"

Todefrawg n. Either a toad or a frog. Southerners don't worry about the differnce since if either one pees on you, you gits warts!

Tore-down a. In less than optimal condition.

Tore Nader n. No relation to Ralph: a strong, spinning wind that stirs things up considerably.

Tote v. Carry.

Tow sack a. Burlap bag.

Tucker out v. Exhaust, fatigue, as to be plumb tuckered out from cleaning fish.

Tune up v. Start crying. "When Ginny Mae didn't git any candy, she tuned up and gave out a squall they heard in Kalamazoo."

Turn loose v. Release oneself to wild abandon. "He turned loose and cut a jig right air in d'livin room!" (Notice the French influence.)

 

[jw50]

Udder a. Not this/these. "Ain't you got no udder kind a veggie-tables septin deeze?"

Uppin v. aux. To do something suddenly or unexpectedly: "I toad him we's havin liver puddin fer dinner and he uppin left."

Upside adv. On the side of, as in, "When Andy toad her how ugly she wuz, she hittim upside da haid widda fryin pan."


Veggie-table n. Not the salad bar but edible plants like field peas, butterbeans, collards, okry, snap beans, and the like.

Vetern n. Somebody who fought in a war and came back home.

View v. cont. A phrase used to find out it someone else has done something, as in "I hain't never seed New York City, view?"

Vittles n. Anything worth eating.

 

[jw50]

Wadn't it? That pesky little "s" before "n". (See "bidnis", "idnit").

Waller v. To toss and turn, wallow with overcompensation, as a hog wallers in the mud.

Warnt v. aux. (1) Negative of "were", as in, "Hit warnt his fault." (2) A piece of paper that gives somebody the right to tear up your still: "Billy Joe I got a warnt rye-cheer to tear up yore still."

Wawk v. The opposite of run, to run slowly.

Whir pro. The interrogative place pronoun, as in "Whirred yew put my galluses, mama?"

Whup v. Inflict physical pain on someone younger and/or smaller than you using a leather strap or switch.

Whoaman n. An adult of the female persuasion. Etymology: commonly thought to come from the response of many Southern women to the advances of pesky males.

Wuhd n. Things that make up sentences.

 

[jw50]

Yahoo n. A ignert hayseed from the sticks. (Antonym: "city slicker")

Yall pro. The plural of you.

Yankee n. See "damyankee."

Yonder adv. (over here, over there, over yonder)

Young'n (See -n) A young thang, a baby.

Yousta adv. An adverb indicating past frequentative activity, as in, "I yousta smoke but now I druther chaw." (Speading to the North even as you waste your time reading this.)

 

[TwinkieMama]

Tote v. Carry.

In my experience, to tote means to carry and carry means to transport in a vehicle.
If you tote dem books upstairs, I'll carry you over to Ginny Mae's later.

 

[jw50]

If someone asks you to to "gimme sum shugah", they do not want you to pass the sugar bowl. Do not smile and nod.

Me thinks Twinks speaks from experience here

 

[TwinkieMama]

Me thinks Twinks speaks from experience here

 

[Lintasare]

What a language lesson.



WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOTY!!!!!!!!!!!