Wedding opinions

[Fishbone†]

I am getting married this Saturday, and I have one dilemma yet to solve (well I have several probably, but I’m concentrating on this one at the moment). We have some VERY good family friends with a set of twin boys that I babysat for since they were 6 months old. They call my mom and dad Grandma and Grandpa, and have since they were little. They are like family to us, and we’ve flown them up from Kentucky for the wedding. Had I gotten married at an earlier time in my life, the boys would have been my ring bearers (and were in fact ring bearers in my older brother’s wedding). They are however 22 years old now, and much too old for the ring bearer position. 

I would really like to include them somehow in the wedding, and with 5 brothers between me and my DH2B and a couple of his best friends, the groomsmen and usher positions are filled. Plus, it’s too late for that…… anyway, usually you use a couple of kids to pass out the programs at the door, but unfortunately, the kids I would use are out as my DH2B doesn’t like them, and all my other nieces and nephews are already involved, or are too young. So the question is, does it seem ridiculous to have the twins (at 22 years old) pass out programs at the door?? They are very outgoing, and not bothered by anything - how do I say it?? They have a “take me as I am” outlook on life, and don’t fall into the fads of the world just because someone said they should. For example, one of them wore a light blue leisure suit with the big tux ruffles for prom (bought it at the thrift shop) just because he thought it would be fun. They’re not nerds – just goofballs who enjoy life too much to let “norms” and “rules” hold them back. All that to say, I don’t think it would bother them. I’m just wondering if it seems too weird to have “adults” do that position – just because it’s sort of one of those positions.

On a side note, if we don’t use the twins, my mom is requesting that we use the other kids (as they are almost family as well), and I have to agree that I think my DH2B should overlook his “issues” with them. They have been a “part” of my family since they were little, and while I don’t necessarily agree with the parents’ parenting style and/or the way they elevate their children (think never tell them no, always let them win, don’t hurt their feelings, include them in everything, wrap them in bubble-wrap…… ), they have been added to my family because they have none of their own, and the kids’ grandma was my mom’s best friend before she passed away two years ago (leaving the kids with no grandparents on either side). The problem is, I would only be including them for their feelings – not my own – I’m neutral, and I hate to die on a hill with my DH2B that I’m not necessarily standing on the top of – if you know what I mean. And I don’t buy into the “it’s not your mom’s wedding / decision argument, and it’s not the point anyway. I’m interested in hearing what you would do – for the good of everyone.

Opinions – mostly on the twins?

 

[budbeerlady]

I had older cousins pass out the programs, the bubbles after the ceremony, all that type of fun stuff. I dont think it would be odd to have them participate.

 

[shirleyb]

I think the twins would be great to pass out the programs. I've never necessarily thought of that as a child's job. Sounds like a good solution.


Congrats on the wedding!

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I think if you want them to participate and they don't mind, then go for it.

Congrats on the wedding!

 

[Barb D]

Go with the twins.

 

[bananiem]

I passed out programs at weddings of friends when I was in my 20's. I'd have the twins do it.
Congratulations and enjoy your day! Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[SC Minnie]

My friend and I passed out programs and 'favors' at another friend's daughters wedding last year. I am 38 so 22 is not too old for that. She called us hostesses.

 

[salmoneous]

Handing out programs isn't a "kid only" job. I've seen it done by adults many-a-time. Do it.

 

[LadyZolt]

My neice was recently married and she has two young men (I think they're 24 and 25) who are brothers and they are just as close as you are to the twins. At that wedding, the young men entered after the congregation was seated and lit the candles that would be on the altar area. It was a lovely, special moment. The candles then stayed lit and the bride and groom each lit their individual candles from those ones and together lit the single "unity" candle.

I'm sure that however you include them, they will feel honored to be part of your special day, and I also agree that handing out programs, bubbles, etc., isn't just for kids. At my neice's wedding, I handed out the bubbles, and I'm 44. LOL!

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[clutter]

Just make sure you tell them in advance so the one can pack his leisure suit!

 

[Fishbone†]

Just make sure you tell them in advance so the one can pack his leisure suit!

The leisure suit WILL be staying in Kentucky!!!

 

[SC Minnie]

Another thing-- our friend had us as honorary guest and a special row for us to sit. We came in before the mothers.

 

[golfgal]

You do not want the younger kids handing out programs if their behavior can not be trusted--you never know what they will do and since mom and dad aren't going to stop them from picking their nose while handing out your programs I think the twins would be the better option.

Another idea would have them be hosts at your reception if you don't already have them. It sounds like they would be great people to greet your guests and show them where to put things, etc.