Wedding invite for cheating husband? update post 31

[jbdreamer]

Why should you invite someone who has no respect for marital vows to a wedding?

He is the one that disrespected his family, don't punish others by forcing them to celebrate your day with him. You don't want to invite any form of drama to your wedding day anyways. Don't feel bad, he did it to himself.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

And bottom line.....DO NOT GO AGAINST YOUR FUTURE MIL over this. If you do you are crazy!

Be smart. Pick the lesser of 2 evils.

 

[DoeWDW]

Don't invite him, but definitely have your fiance call him and explain the situation. You don't need any extra drama on your wedding day.

Go out to dinner with him after you get back from the honeymoon if your fiance doesn't want to sever ties completely, just to show him he is still welcome in your lives to some degree, if you wish.

 

[SDFgirl]

Why should you invite someone who has no respect for marital vows to a wedding?

Believe me, this is my thought exactly. I never got particularly close to Joe, but I love Betty dearly. I am disgusted by his actions. I feel that we are there to celebrate a sacred bond of marriage and fidelity...obviously not very important to Joe.

DF doesn't REALLY want him there. He just wants to send him an invite, so that HE'S not the one saying "You can't come." Also, DF is close with the cousin, Joe's daughter, and doesn't want to hurt her. Particularly since she is reading at the wedding.

I really like the idea of asking him to come to the ceremony only. Smart thinking.

We are going out to dinner tonight with DF's parents to discuss all this. I'll let you know what we decide...

As for me, I have stated my preference to my fiance (not to send an invite) but since it's his side of the family, I will bow out now.

I appreciate your responses! DF is at work but he is interested in reading them and hearing other opinions...

 

[cats7494]

Nope - I would not invite him...
Does not respect marriage vows of his own - why should he be a part of your wedding?

 

[lulugirl]

If your Df isn't close to this Uncle and doesn't plan on having a relationship w/ him, then I don't see the point in inviting him. I would exclude him for that reason, not because he cheated on Betty, frankly I don''t think what happened in the marriage is anyones business.

 

[Rajah]

Send an invite to Betty and guest. NOT Mr and Mrs Joe, but Betty and Guest.

That leaves her open to bring whoever she wants.

IF by some chance, they do get back together before the wedding, she'll be able to bring him. If not, then you've respected Betty's and your Future-MIL's wishes.

I also like Shugardrawers' solution.

 

[mom2boys]

The blood relative is Betty. She is actually my future MIL's twin sister.

There is NO way we will invite Joe "and guest"!!!!!!

I do hope that, if invited, he bows out. I *think* he would do that, out of respect for everyone involved, but we can't be sure.

DO you really think a guy who didn't care enough to honor his marital vows is going to let a little thing like not putting "& guest" on the invitation keep him from bringing his girlfriend?

I also think inviting the cheater minimizes your vows because vows clearly mean nothing to him.


Don't think your future mother-in-law would be too aprreciative. She will NEVER forget.

 

[noseybuddy]

Don't invite him. The blood relative comes first, especially since she didn't do anything wrong. Who cares about the cheater and his feelings. He certainly didn't think about anyone else's feelings but his own.

 

[twojo21]

personally i wouldnt send him an invitation.

i would respect your future mother in law & his aunts wishes ntm i wouldnt want someone like that at my wedding.

twojo21
future disney bride march 21st 2006

 

[SDFgirl]

Okay. We had dinner with DF's parents tonight and hashed it all out.

We will not be sending him an invitation. DF's father will speak to Joe and tell him that he's not going to be invited for the sake of everyone involved.

DF's parents think he'll understand. DF's dad is going to make it clear that it is Betty making the decision, not DF and I.

I feel bad that it has come to this, but the bottom line is - Joe made these choices. If the divorce had been amicable, or less recent, then maybe...who knows? I feel sorry for DF because he remembers all the good times they had as a family, but I just think it would be too painful for Betty.

I truly appreciate everyone's responses. They have helped me tremendously! You can always count on the Disboards...

 

[barkley]

you have a great future father in law there. i like that both of you are being removed from the equation.

i think, since your fiance has good memories of this man, and his daughter will be reading at your wedding-it would be a lovely to make a copy of the wedding video (if you are having one done) to send him.

best wishes for a lovely and uneventful wedding.

 

[SDFgirl]

you have a great future father in law there. i like that both of you are being removed from the equation.

Don't I know it! He is a wonderful man, and my future MIL is wonderful too. I am so lucky.