Wedding gifts - what do you usually give?

[Ember]

Having just gone to a wedding (an eventful one at that!) got me thinking about how glad I was to only have one wedding this year to attend. I have a girl friend who has 5!

I love weddings, but the gift giving can be very stressful sometimes. This wedding (one of my DH's fellow grad students) we gave $100 cash. It doesn't seem like much, but there are times when $100 is A LOT of money. If there were multiple weddings this year I would probably have to not go, because I just couldn't afford too many more wedding gifts...

Generally, I like to give something from Tiffany's (I figure every woman should get to open a robin egg blue box at least once!), like toasting flutes or (in the case of tea drinkers as in the last wedding I went to) a beautiful set of tea cups if I know they'll like such things, or cash if I'm not sure or don't know them well.

It just got me thinking, what do you generally give when you go to weddings?

 

[DisBride2007]

Good question! We're going to the wedding of a co-worker this weekend. I'm planning on writing a check for $100. Is that really considered a small amount of money?

Now that I've gone through the process of receiving wedding presents I have to say I will only give money from now on. Even some of the things that we received from our registry were pretty worthless and are just gathering dust. I actually just opened one of our gifts earlier tonight, and our wedding was a year and a half ago!

And it's funny you mentioned toasting glasses from Tiffany... we received that as our very first wedding gift. Given that we don't drink, I actually returned them. Now I have a gift card for over $200 at Tiffany that I will likely never use... This is why I will only be giving money from now on!

 

[IndyBride]

That's very sad. You always buy someone something hoping they will enjoy it not that it will cause them a burden. You could always use that gift card as a gift OR for a gift? A bracelet or something...

 

[kingLouiethe1]

I really like the Tiffany's idea for toasting flutes. I usually give cash or a gift card, usually in the $100 range. I know that doesn't really cover the cost of wining and dining me, but I figure you shouldn't really expect to recoup your costs in wedding gifts, right?

Speaking of Tiffany's if you don't want the gift card toss it over here, I was thinking of getting my small wedding party of 3 little shiny things from Tiffany's

 

[Ember]

And it's funny you mentioned toasting glasses from Tiffany... we received that as our very first wedding gift. Given that we don't drink, I actually returned them. Now I have a gift card for over $200 at Tiffany that I will likely never use... This is why I will only be giving money from now on!

Yeah, that's why I only do it if I know/have a good idea they'll be appreciated. I've done it enough times now that I've even had friends hint at it. "We enjoy wine with our dinners sometimes..." LOL I forgive them their slightly obvious hint because it does actually help.

I guess as much as money is helpful, I also truly appreciated the gifts as well that were selected with love. My mum gave me (early) my wedding cake topper from the Walt Disney Classics Collection (I collect these) and a seri-cel of Cinderella and her prince running down the steps. And one person got us a beautiful personalized glass Christmas ornament. I love these things! I'm not very sentimental, heck, I threw away my sand ceremony, but I love that these things remind me of my wedding.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I first look at the registry to see if they have anything on it that I would like to give in my price range. I usually find something since I shop early.

If not, I do the Tiffany thing too, if I know they are drinkers. I also believe you need to have a blue box at least once in your life.

If the toasting flutes are not suitable, then I resort to cash.

 

[rpmdfw]

My traditional wedding present to friends and family has always been a fondue pot. I know, kinda lame, but fondue has always been my favorite meal. On top of being delicious, it's also social and interactive. I love it. So most people that are in my life have at some point shared this meal with me, or with my family, or with me and Scott . . . . you get the picture.

So I give them a gift that comes from me, a reflection of the gift-giver. They know how much joy my fondue sets have given me, because they've shared it. By giving them one too, I hope they understand that I hope that they have the same kind of joys.

I fully expect that this little tradition of mine to bite me in the hiney, now however.

Scott and I already have six (yes six) fondue sets. (We throw one heck of a fondue party!)

So my mom and sister have been trying to spread the word to family and friends that "They've got enough! Don't get them any more!"

My dad is telling people we're registered at the bank and that they should send us a "bucket full of cash".

I've never purchased or received anything that comes in a Tiffany Blue box. Am I deprived?

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

I would appreciate ANYTHING from Tiffany's...lol. that little blue box is so nice to see!

 

[SarahInMN]

I first look at the registry to see if they have anything on it that I would like to give in my price range. I usually find something since I shop early.

This is what I do too. Most people register stuff at both extremes of the price range and everything in between.

By the way, Ember, you said:

This wedding (one of my DH's fellow grad students) we gave $100 cash. It doesn't seem like much, but there are times when $100 is A LOT of money.

I think 100$ is a very generous gift!

 

[Ember]

I've never purchased or received anything that comes in a Tiffany Blue box. Am I deprived?

I love my fondue sets! I only have 2, and use them mostly for chocolate... But I still love them!

And, nope! You aren't deprived at all! Tiffany's is over priced and all you're really paying for is the name. There is absolutely nothing there that anyone really needs. I think that's why it's a bit of a fun wedding gift, it's a little pure luxury to remember a happy day. Of course, not everyone "gets" it. My best friend sees only the waste of money on something should could have gotten much cheaper somewhere else... She got cash!

 

[JandJ]

DH and I must be cheap If it's a co-worker we'll look at the registry and go for something in the $30-40 range. His cousin got married last year. We couldn't attend and there was nothing reasonable on the registry so we gave them a $50 gift card to a store they registered at. My best friend was married last year as well and I was MOH so I had to buy the dress, the shoes, give the shower, our hotel room nights, etc. and we gave them $100 cash which we thought was generous. If I can't find something on the registry, then cash or a gift card always works. Unless it's close family I wouldn't give over $100.

BTW we registered for a fondue set and got it, and I love it!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

I try to individualize each gift. For example, my cousins were wine drinkers, so I went to Pottery Barn and got them some beautiful wine glasses, then off to the bookstore to get them a nice leather bound wine book and then a nice bottle of wine. I can usually get away with spending $30-$40 and it looks like I spent a good amount.

For another friend, they really needed $$$ So, we gave them $50...Now, I feel cheap as it looks like most give $100!!! But that was all we could afford at the time, and as they say it is the thought that counts. Nevermind the endless hours I spent doing DIY projects with the bride! BF offered up my handy work without consulting me on it. I didn't mind, but it was during finals week. I could have killed him! In the end it worked out.

I did make an emergency kit for BF's sister...She loved it!!! The whole thing cost me maybe $25...Just travel size stuff in a little caboodles case. She used it during her wedding day and was so glad I had thought about it. It was all travel size stuff which can run a buck or two...

I've done candle settings with candles. I've done stuff off registries. I refuse to break the bank. I would rather have someone give me something from the heart than to cut themselves short financially.

 

[FormrCastMbr]

We usually give cash but have received some very nice things from Tiffany, Waterford, etc.

Items that I love and use all the time are the vases and water pitchers. We did get a gorgeous set of flutes and although we have not used them, they look awesome in the china cabinet waiting to be used!

 

[meryll83]

I also have 5 weddings this year, and what with the hen nights for them, it's proving to be a very costly experience.

I think we're just at that age now where all our friends are getting hitched.

I'm already aware of 3 weddings we're invited to next year, as well as our own, and already 2 of them for next September have been scheduled for the same day! I'm only a bridesmaid at one of them though, otherwise I would've been doing a Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses Unfortunately I can't make the other as it's down South, which is a real shame as it's a friend from Uni and it would have been nice to see Uni people again.

Back on topic anyway, luckily a couple of the weddings are work colleagues, so collections have been organised, and therefore I haven't felt the need to put as much money in had we been buying our own gift, but 2 of them are family (well Simon's family) so we've had to be a bit more generous there.

I'm going to all these weddings and trying to make one drink last all night coz I'm skint from the pre-wedding purchasing! Oh, and much as I love Facebook, everyone can see if you've worn the same dress at various weddings now, so the need for different outfits increases too, darnit!!

 

[Rora]

DF and I get invited to lots of weddings. We recently just graduated from college (DF from getting his masters) and it seems like all of our friends have caught the "marriage bug".

If we know the couple really well we will give them a gift we know they will like. It's usually anywhere from the $50-100 range. Or just a check for $100.

Sometimes we'll be invited to a wedding of a friend of a friend . It's always nice that they wish to include us but if we actually go we give about $50-75 depending on how well we know the person.

Us fresh outta college kids are still poor!

 

[disneyberry]

My fiance and I generally give a check for $200.00 (or basically $100 for the two of us, we always count it as $100 per person). We don't give cash because we don't want it to get lost or misplaced.

It's pretty much the way both of our parents have always done wedding gifts, so we've always followed suit. We figure it helps towards compensating the bride & groom for the money they're shelling out to feed/entertain us, and besides, you can never go wrong with money.

 

[rpmdfw]

besides, you can never go wrong with money.

Very true! It's always the right style, color, and size!

 

[ZPT1022]

Us fresh outta college kids are still poor!

I'm not fresh out of college but we started our family in our early 20's (or we wouldn't have been able to have kids) and I feel like money is always tighter than I'd like. DH and i were talking about this the other day- I think we'll always feel this way, the scale just won't be the same. Before "broke" meant you had $5 in your pocket (and spent it anyhow ) and now I start feeling that way when I see only a few hundred in checking.


Anyhoo.... wedding gifts. We've been giving $50-100 depending on how close we are and whether or not we actually attend the wedding. We just went to a wedding last weekend and gave $100. Felt like we should have given more but that's $100 for the wedding gift, $40 for a shower gift, and $200 spent on a casino night with the bride and groom. I realize that the casino night, they didn't see that money but we all chipped in to rent the party bus, get to the casino, pay for the buffet, etc...... So while I only gave $100 as a wedding gift, we've spent closer to $400 on this couple, not counting buying new dresses and dress shirts for DH.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I think it is a cultural and regional thing. I know in certain areas, people commonly give gifts for weddings, but the first time I saw that I was surprised. I live in NJ and there is always only a "money box" or "card box"- people give cash or check and showers are almost always when registry items are purchased- although sometimes closer family members buy things like a patio set or a washer or dryer.

Weddings- pretty much starts at $100/per person and can double based on circumstances.

Although, we have certain family members who we know are not very wealthy and when they came to a family wedding and gave $50 for the four of them, we were just happy they were able to make the long drive and spend the time with us. I just wanted to add that I'm telling you the average around here based on what I've seen and done. No one should ever feel bad if they can't afford to give what the "usual" is- no one should go into debt or anything to give a "certain amount" as a wedding gift!

Showers- I try to check the registry for something in my price range or else find someone to go in on a group gift with to get something more expensive. I really like registries because I know the couple will like it and it will go with their house and colors, takes so much of the pressure off!

 

[Calrissian13]

My husband and I try to find something on their registry, but if all the items in our pricepoint have disappeared, we go for a gift card (if we don't know the couple very well), or we try to personalize the gift a bit (if we know them particularly well). An example, close friends of ours got married in April, and had a very limited registry. They had both been living on their own for a while, so didn't really need anything. Both are movie lovers as well, so we thought we'd try to incorporate that into their gift. We found a beautiful set of popcorn bowls (one large, four small), and had it wrapped in cellophane with a box of microwave popcorn, a giftcard to a video store for the amount it would cost to rent a week's worth of movies, a package of licorice, and a box of Junior mints (this was actually on their registry, so we thought we would throw it in for fun). It might not have been a glamorous gift, but they enjoyed it.