Wedding gift?

[gate_pourri]

I am stuck on a wedding gift. My coworker is getting married this weekend. He and his soon to be wife will be using my families vacation house in Europe for their honeymoon. I am now stuck on weather it is expected to bring a gift to the wedding. Am I obliged to bring a normal gift (I would usually bring a $50 gift), or should I just bring a card? Something in between? I don't want to be stingy.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Are you gifting them the house to use?

 

[RUDisney]

Are you gifting them the house to use?

That's what I want to know. If you're not, it doesn't matter what, where or how they are honeymooning. If you don't want to appear to be cheap, don't be. Give them money in a card.

 

[gate_pourri]

Are you gifting them the house to use?

Well, yes... It is my fathers vacation home. But, as my father doesn't know them, it is coming from me. IE - I told my dad - xyz is using the house at these dates They are using the house for 2 weeks for their honeymoon.

 

[My2Cinderellas]

arranging a 2 week vacation rental is a lovely gift. Doesn't matter that it didn't cost you much, it is a significant donation to their honeymoon plans. If you feel you must give an actual gift item, I would do an amount less than you normally do.

 

[clh2]

I could totally see both sides. The use of a vacation home for 2 weeks is huge! On the other hand - is letting a coworker use the vacation home costing you anything? I.e. - are there any housekeeping fees that need to be paid when the guests leave?

And - how close are you to this coworker? If you are good friends, I would probably give a smaller than normal gift. If you are merely coworkers - I might pass on giving an additional gift.

 

[TLuvsD]

How about an "inbetween" gift, think of a set of maps to use at the house (Barnes and Noble has some great international city maps), a gift certificate to a local restaurant, arrange for the fridge to be stocked, something like that...

 

[gate_pourri]

I could totally see both sides. The use of a vacation home for 2 weeks is huge! On the other hand - is letting a coworker use the vacation home costing you anything? I.e. - are there any housekeeping fees that need to be paid when the guests leave?

And - how close are you to this coworker? If you are good friends, I would probably give a smaller than normal gift. If you are merely coworkers - I might pass on giving an additional gift.[/QUOTE

There are no additional fees I would pay. My father may need pay a bit more for the cleaning lady then normal, but perhaps not. She comes twice a month to dust, check mail, ensure everything is OK, etc. etc. I am not sure if she charges more for the times that people have spent there.

As for how closer we are, we are really not that close. I mean, at my office, he is one of the few coworkers I really like and hang out, we walk to lunch together, his cube is right next to mine, etc. but I've never hung out with him outside of work. I have only briefly met the fiancée.

 

[tlbwriter]

I could totally see both sides. The use of a vacation home for 2 weeks is huge! On the other hand - is letting a coworker use the vacation home costing you anything?

The value of a gift is not necessarily the same as the cost. A stay in a vacation home is a very valuable gift, even if the giver pays nothing out of pocket. I don't think any other gift is necessary. But OP, if you do want to do something, could you have a basket of wine/chocolates/etc. waiting for them at the house?

 

[SandiH]

I vote you've given your gift by arranging TWO WEEKS at a vacation home in Italy. Doesn't matter that it didn't cost you anything, you covered housing in Italy for two weeks.

 

[gate_pourri]

How about an "inbetween" gift, think of a set of maps to use at the house (Barnes and Noble has some great international city maps), a gift certificate to a local restaurant, arrange for the fridge to be stocked, something like that...

I am already planning on at least attempting to take them to lunch in January (the honeymoon isn't until Feb) so that I can give them the keys and all the info they need for the condo (door code, local restaurants, how to use the washer, etc. etc.)

There are a ton of maps and guide books already at the house and I fully expect the cleaning lady will stock the fridge. I went there last month and when I got there, there was a fridge full of food, soda, juice and water. When I was leaving, I left the cleaning lady a very nice tip and a short note about my friends coming, so I am sure she will treat them well.

I also left a, although somewhat cheap, bottle of champagne with a "congrats" on it for them...

 

[gate_pourri]

The value of a gift is not necessarily the same as the cost. A stay in a vacation home is a very valuable gift, even if the giver pays nothing out of pocket. I don't think any other gift is necessary. But OP, if you do want to do something, could you have a basket of wine/chocolates/etc. waiting for them at the house?

That is what I was planning on doing - there is already Champagne waiting.

It seems most people agree that I don't need anything else. I wasn't planning on doing anything else, but another coworker asked me today if I wanted to go 'in' on a gift together. It got me a bit confused if I needed to get something else.

Thanks!

 

[gate_pourri]

I vote you've given your gift by arranging TWO WEEKS at a vacation home in Italy. Doesn't matter that it didn't cost you anything, you covered housing in Italy for two weeks.

It is actually in Paris.. But close enough

 

[SandiH]

It is actually in Paris.. But close enough

Oh sorry, I guess it said Europe. Don't know why my mind went to Italy. In that case, you totally need to give a huge cash gift at the wedding. Oh just kidding. I stand by my original post. What an awesome gift.

 

[chamonix]

That is a lovely gift, and very generous for folks you aren't particularly close to........If it were me, I would give them a card with the gift of the lodging written up in it.

Something like:
"congratulations! I hope that your honeymoon stay in my family's Paris pied a terre will bring you much happiness! I am so glad i could arrange that for you, and i hope you both enjoy it as much as I do."

Truly, no other gift is necessary. A gift is not about how much it costs in dollar/euro amounts, a gift is a gift no matter how much it costs. In fact, the best gifts cannot be bought with money. It makes me very sad to think people equate how much something costs $$ with what is a good or appropriate gift.

The best gift i ever received was a robe that had been worn by someone I loved, and that I had admired many times. I don't know what your co-workers financial situation is, but I think it goes without saying your gift is significant, even if it didn't cost actual cash out of your pocket. Of course, there is also the bottle of champagne that you purchased for them as well.........

 

[NHdisneylover]

I was going to suggest arranging to have champaign in the room for them--but you have already done that. As the PP mentioned, imply bring a card to the wedding with a congratulatory note and "hope" that they will enjoy the home in Paris. If you want to go a little extra, you can buy a guidebook to Paris to put with the note and write that you hope it helps them plan for the honeymoon (and then you really don't have to mention the house at all as it is obvious that is the main thing from you and the guidebook is just a little extra).

 

[DisneyScraps]

I would do a gift with a map of the area, maybe a guidebok or restaurant guide. Thinkgs to make their visit to the area easier.

Lisa

 

[SC Minnie]

OP-- can I be your coworker/friend????

I agree with others. No additional gift is needed. Arranging for them to stay free for 2 weeks is plenty.

 

[jen0610]

I was going to suggest arranging to have champaign in the room for them--but you have already done that. As the PP mentioned, imply bring a card to the wedding with a congratulatory note and "hope" that they will enjoy the home in Paris. If you want to go a little extra, you can buy a guidebook to Paris to put with the note and write that you hope it helps them plan for the honeymoon (and then you really don't have to mention the house at all as it is obvious that is the main thing from you and the guidebook is just a little extra).

I know you said the house has some maps and books, but I would get them their own book to keep, as a momento of both their wedding and the honeymoon trip. Maybe, get some of those note/flags and mark some of your favorite spots.

 

[golfgal]

I would not expect an additional gift and if you gave me something on top of 2 weeks in PARIS for FREE, I would be highly embarrassed. I would make up a package of local flavor-some maps, a guide book maybe and give that to them. If you REALLY feel the need to give them something, give them a gift card to a restaurant near the vacation house.